


How to Die

by a_y_lin



Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Abusive family dynamics, Alive Kol Mikaelson, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Kol Mikaelson, Betrayal, Compulsion, Cultural Differences, Doppelganger, Dysfunctional Family, Elena isn't annoying, Fate, Ghost Kol Mikaelson, Ghosts, How Do I Tag, Klaus Mikaelson Being Klaus Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson Has A Heart, Kol Mikaelson has a heart, Kol didn't drink the wine at dinner, Kol dies in 1001 AD, Kol goes through lots of phases, Kol is the true Necromancer prove me wrong, Kol-centric, M/M, Magic, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Mikaelson Family Drama, Necromancy, Period-Typical Homophobia, Prophecy, Prophetic Visions, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Seer Kol Mikaelson, Sharing a Bed, Sibling Bonding, Slight Modern-Day Homophobia, Spirits, Tbh idk which Salvatore Elena is dating, The Author Regrets Nothing, The author invents types of magic, Underage Drinking, Vampires, Warlocks, Witch Kol Mikaelson, Witchcraft, Witches, briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26383894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_y_lin/pseuds/a_y_lin
Summary: Kol Mikaelson's life was never a happy one. When his mother failed to turn him into an Original Vampire, it grew exponentially worse. Roaming the world as a ghost, he never expects to find true peace, but when his brother, Niklaus, casts him out of their family, he knows any hope is lost. A thousand years after his death, he finds himself in Mystic Falls, planning to tap into the sacrifice of the doppelganger and allow his soul to move on to the afterlife. All he wants is to die, at last.Then, he meets her younger brother, and his plans fall apart.It's a Kol dies in 1001 AD AU. The writing improves as the story progresses!
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett & Kol Mikaelson, Elena Gilbert & Kol Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson & Klaus Mikaelson, Elijah Mikaelson & Kol Mikaelson, Jeremy Gilbert/Kol Mikaelson, Klaus Mikaelson & Kol Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson & Rebekah Mikaelson
Comments: 34
Kudos: 108





	1. Drinking is Underrated

**Author's Note:**

> TW: recurring themes of suicide/suicidal thoughts/death wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was about to start a Kol/MaleOC historical AU, but then I felt inspired to write this instead, so here I am. I'm not sure how long this story will be yet or if I'll finish it, but I look forward to going on this journey with you.
> 
> A couple things:  
> \- I think it's boring to re-hash the events of tv shows, so while I will be following the general plot of TVD (such as Klaus breaking his curse) the details and things leading up to it will either be varied from canon or entirely made up by me.  
> \- I only watched a few TVD episodes, although I've seen all of TO. My TVD knowledge is based on the Wiki; the fic starts during TVD because that's when the idea I had makes most sense to me, so if something is incorrect, whether intentionally so or not, it will be part of my AU, but feel free to point it out to me anyway.  
> \- My depictions of Norse beliefs will not be accurate; I will be attempting to fuse TVD/TO supernatural lore with Norse mythology at times. At others, I will simply be bringing some of Norse culture into the story because The Originals are Vikings (more accurately, they are likely Danes because they came to North America from what is now England), but I am by no means an expert, so I may get things wrong.  
> \- Jeremy and Bonnie are not dating. The fic starts in s02 e18, 'The Last Dance,' but the timeline is very different.  
> 

It was almost comical, Kol pondered, that his desire to stay sober at dinner had been the thing that got him killed. It was just his luck that his mother would pick that night to turn him and his siblings into blood-sucking monsters, or try to in his case.

It was this that painted a smirk on his face as he sauntered into Mystic Falls High. Though he'd just seen eighteen summers when he died, Kol had lied about his age--claiming to be sixteen and thus in the same class as Jeremy--with the intent of keeping tabs on the doppelganger's brother. The receptionist was idly typing at her computer, the keys clicking softly. When the warlock reached the desk, she gave him only a glance before returning her gaze to the monitor.

"Name?" she asked, sounding bored.

"Kol Mikaelson," he answered, not bothering to come up with an alias.

From what he heard, his elder brother Elijah had already made quite the impression on Elena, the latest doppelganger. Kol knew that Niklaus, eager to break his curse and free his werewolf side, wouldn't be far behind in tracking the poor girl to Mystic Falls, ironically built where they had once lived as a family.

The receptionist slid a schedule across the desk, and he smiled politely before folding and pocketing the document. Since he'd tethered his soul to this plane of existence, he had learned to use his magic to make himself semi-corporeal. As a ghost made visible by his own power, he could interact with objects and people, and he had even given himself a truly solid form after the first few decades of this existence. However, while people could feel him, he couldn't feel the world around him, whether it be another person's touch or the soft breeze that swept through the trees. After all, he was dead.

As he made his way to the first class of the day--history according to his schedule--he couldn't help but think about Rebekah, his younger sister. Since she had become a vampire, he'd seen her craving for humanity, and Kol knew she would've wanted to attend school, if only to be around humans. He himself had never cared for the people themselves, but learning was one of his favorite ways to pass the time. He had studied a variety of things in his years on earth, and if he would miss anything after he left, it would be the endless supply of knowledge; it was intoxicating, more so than a glass of wine or any drug. As a warlock, a shaman to be exact, he knew better than anyone the sheer sense of fullness that came from being linked to nature. Through learning, he was linked to people themselves, like magic.

Coming upon the history classroom, he glanced inside, seeing a man with brown hair who he assumed was the teacher.

"Are you a new student?" the man asked, confirming Kol's suspicions.

"Indeed," he replied. "I'm Kol. Kol Mikaelson."

The teacher looked startled for a moment at his name but hid it well, prattling on for a couple minutes about the class, which Kol tuned out. When the teacher, Mr. Saltzman according to the plaque on his desk, stopped talking, the warlock assumed he was meant to take a seat and chose one at the back, near a brunette boy he knew to be Jeremy Gilbert, younger brother of the doppelganger. If there was anything Kol learned after a thousand years of watching Nik chase doppelgangers, it was that he only cared for the girl, the carbon copy of Tatia whose blood was the key to his curse. Kol figured befriending the doppelganger's brother would allow him to keep tabs on her and make sure he was present at the ritual; since it was only a human he was concerning himself with, he doubted Nik would even bother with Jeremy, leaving Kol to bide his time.

"Kol Mikaelson," he introduced himself, extending a hand to Jeremy. "Mind if I sit?"

The boy shook his hand. "Sure, man; sit wherever. I'm Jeremy," he replied, completely at ease.

Pleased by the lack of resistance, Kol sat down, leaning back in his chair as Mr. Saltzman started lecturing about the Industrial Revolution. Even though Kol was certain Elijah wouldn't have spoken to Elena about him, he was shocked when Jeremy hadn't recognized the name 'Mikaelson.' _Surely the boy knew about the supernatural?_ Although the warlock supposed his own existence wasn't exactly a textbook example of supernatural beings.

As Mr. Saltzman talked, Kol idly watched the Gilbert boy sketch, soft lines beginning to form a bird. He thought Nik would enjoy the boy, having an interest in art, but he quickly shoved the thought away. The brothers hadn't spoken in over nine hundred years, when Nik had told him to leave. The Mikaelsons had been vampires for nearly a century before Kol saw his siblings begin to tire of his presence. Before they ran from their village, they had promised each other an eternal bond, always and forever, but it seemed there was no place for the warlock in that vow. He had learned the hard way, when he brought a boy from town to meet his family. Unbeknownst to him, they had plans to feed that evening, and he'd been forced to resort to magic to keep his companion from harm. It was then that Niklaus had dragged him from the house they were staying in, ordering him to leave with a sneer and making a new promise. _If I encounter you again, brother,_ he had crooned, _I will find a witch to eject your soul from its precarious place in this world. There is no place for you with us._

Suffice to say any contact Kol had with his family since was from afar, watching them for lifetimes as they chased happiness without him, and he would most certainly not be bringing Jeremy Gilbert to meet his family. A part of Kol wanted to pursue the boy--with his dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and well-built frame, he was certainly attractive--but the more logical part of him knew that any true attachment would end with pain; after all, he needed the doppelganger, Jeremy's sister, to die. As for any other nature of a relationship, Kol had no use for them; in its current state, the spell tethering his soul to this side of the veil didn't provide him a true vessel, and as such, he couldn't feel anything in the physical sense, although the living could interact with him as if they were one and the same.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of class, Kol consulted his schedule again.

"You've got literature too, huh?" Jeremy glanced over his shoulder, looking over his schedule. "We have all the same classes," he muttered, more to himself than anything Kol assumed.

The warlock merely gave a noncommittal shrug. It hadn't been hard to find out which classes Jeremy was taking and enroll in all of them, having correctly guessed that, in a small school like Mystic Falls High, this would guarantee their identical schedules.

"So," Kol started, trying to make small talk as the two walked to their next class. "Is there anything fun to do in this town?"

"There's actually a party tonight," Jeremy replied, to Kol's surprise. "It's at the Lockwood house, so you can drop by if you want; it's not like there are actual invitations."

"I may drop by then," the warlock mused aloud, enjoying the taste of the modern language on his tongue.

After hearing about the party, Kol found that the remainder of the day seemed to crawl by, much to his chagrin. He was fairly certain that, despite Elijah's calm behavior and meetings with the doppelganger, Nik was already in Mystic Falls, meaning that his own time was limited. As such, he meant to enjoy whatever he had left, and tonight, that meant getting drunk on cheap alcohol with Jeremy Gilbert. While he wasn't an expert, never having been to high school, Kol was confident that was how teen parties usually progressed, so he couldn't find it in himself to care much for his appearance, opting for plain tailored jeans and a dark grey, sheer button down shirt, which he left partially unbuttoned. The fascinating thing about being a ghost was that the world was in tune with him; he could be seen, heard, and felt by the living, and he could even put on clothes and cut his hair as it grew; yet, he wasn't in tune with the world, not being able to feel any kind of sensation. He couldn't get truly drunk, but he was convinced that the atmosphere of the party would rub off on him, so he didn't pay that detail much mind as he walked to the Lockwood manor. 

He had been staying at an apartment that wasn't horribly far from his destination, not that it mattered much since he couldn't get tired. By the time he arrived, the sun had already been chased from the sky, and the party looked to be well underway. There was a pop song blaring through expensive speakers, so loud he could hear it from outside, and he wasted no time in letting himself into the house. If not for the drunk teenagers inside, he would find it quite charming, he noted, looking for Jeremy in the crowd. He finds the boy in a corner, a cheap can of beer in hand.

"Hello Jeremy, fancy seeing you here," Kol remarked, smiling widely.

"Hey, Kol," Jeremy replied, looking happier, much to Kol's delight. "I didn't think you would show."

"Anything for you, darling," the ghost replied, not even thinking about what he'd said until the boy started blushing and took a sip of his drink. "I must admit," he continued, trying to move the conversation in a more comfortable direction. "This doesn't seem like your type of place."

"How do you know?" Jeremy asked, quirking a brow. They had just met, after all.

Kol leaned forward, as if sharing a secret, before whispering, "I have a way with people." Despite not being able to feel anything, he was acutely aware of how close he was to Jeremy, of how--if he were alive--his breath would have ghosted across the teen's neck. "What do you say we do something more fun?" Kol asked, pulling away and smirking softly.

Jeremy only nodded, taking Kol's hand to be led out of the house. The two walked through the streets of Mystic Falls, savoring the easy silence.

It was Kol who finally broke it, his voice soft as he spoke, "Long ago, I would look up at the sky and see the great serpent, Jörmungandr, whose body wraps around our world, poised to raise his tail and begin Ragnarok--the end of days. My people believed that the world was born from a void; there was nothing, until fire and ice came together and created the giants, who created the world in turn."

"Beautiful," Jeremy breathed. "But you spoke in past tense; what do you see now?"

"Now I see the abyss that came before the world, the absence of all things; I see that beyond the world we know, there is a nothingness we will never understand, both a bitter cold and a blazing inferno, poised to numb you completely or devour you whole," came the warlock's reply. "Either that, or it is the gentle calm of ocean waves."

"You're not sure?"

"No one is, except the gods themselves," Kol sighed. "If we knew, perhaps we wouldn't be afraid."

"Jeremy!" a shout cut through the air, interrupting their moment. Kol cringed internally, recognizing the voice as Tatia's, or her doppelganger's in this case.

Sure enough, a Tatia look-alike was running down the street towards them, appearing quite distressed in Kol's opinion. Not far behind her were two men, walking leisurely down the sidewalk to meet them. They looked like brothers, but he couldn't be bothered to pursue that thought as the doppelganger--Elena, he reminded himself--wrapped her brother in a hug.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, Jer," she scolded him. "Are you drunk?"

"Kol was telling me about the serpent in the sky," Jeremy whined, like a child whose favorite story had been interrupted. It was then that Elena took notice of Kol, giving him a once over as if to judge whether or not he was inebriated, too.

"I haven't had anything to drink, and he's not as wasted as you think," he assured her. "The night sky reminded me of Norse beliefs, and I told him the story of Jörmungandr, the world serpent."

He gave Elena the most genuine smile he could muster, and it seemed to calm her down slightly. "It's time to go home, Jeremy; you can talk to your friend--Kol, was it?--tomorrow."

She tried to steer her brother away, only to be thwarted by Kol, albeit indirectly. To his surprise, he looked down to see that Jeremy was still clutching his hand; the warlock hadn't noticed, which he thought was fair considering he couldn't actually feel the touch.

"You have to let go, darling," Kol urged with a chuckle, finding that Jeremy was quite amusing when drunk.

"What if I don't know what happens next?" Jeremy asked, hazel eyes darting up to meet his companion's brown ones.

"Trust me," the ghost answered, bringing the boy's hand to his lips and placing a kiss on his knuckles. "I won't let you get lost in the abyss."

Finally, Jeremy let go, allowing Elena to lead him home. The doppelganger looked back at Kol, mouthing a quick 'thank you' before walking away to her companions, who had watched the entire exchange from afar. _It really is a pity,_ Kol thought. _I'm going to have to let her die._

For both his sake and hers, he hoped that whatever came next was as gentle as the waves lapping at the shore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed the first chapter! The supernatural will be more prominent in the next chapter, and more characters will start to play a role. The ending of this one wasn't planned, but what can I say, I'm a sap, and so is Kol, apparently! I plan to update soon, so please leave kudos and reviews, as I love hearing your feedback, and it really motivates me to write.
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	2. Don't Get Attached

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia (no slurs because I don't like writing them); a non-con kiss

Kol hadn't bothered to unpack the day's events until he reached the apartment that acted as his home in Mystic Falls. When he finally came upon the door, his evening with Jeremy came crashing into him. He had told himself just that morning that he wouldn't grow attached to the doppelganger's brother, but it seemed it only took him a few hours to renege. Letting himself inside, he instinctively took a breath, finding solace in the action even if he didn't need to breathe. Calmer, he made his way through the apartment, undressing and stepping into the shower, not bothering to wait for the water to heat up. The sound of water on the tile was oddly therapeutic, and Kol let his mind clear.

For a few blissful minutes it was only him and his emotions, no pesky worries about doppelgangers and the afterlife to nag at him, but thoughts of Jeremy were far less considerate. Kol was no fool; he knew that he himself was lost, had been for nine hundred years, giving him all the more reason to crave an end. He hadn't been remotely happy since he was alive, yet he had felt something when he was with Jeremy, talking about Jörmungandr under the stars. For the first time since he died, he wished that he was still alive, if only to feel Jeremy's hand in his, to feel the skin of his hand against his lips.

Stepping out of the shower, he wished he could feel the cool tile beneath his feet, the brush of air against his damp skin, even the water itself. He got dressed quickly, collapsing onto the bed despite himself; physically, he knew he wasn't tired, but emotionally, he was exhausted, though it wasn't unusual for him in the past few centuries. Even sleep was draining. Every time Kol closed his eyes, he relived moments of his life, and he had a suspicion tonight's memories would involve Jeremy.

He was proven right when he managed to slip into unconsciousness.

As Kol opened his eyes again, sunlight was streaming in through the windows, and he had relived his conversation with Jeremy a dozen times over.

When he walked into math class, spotting Jeremy, he felt a pang of regret. If Kol was right, as he often was, the only thing Nik needed to break his curse, killing the doppelganger in the process, was the full moon, which was quickly approaching. His time with Jeremy was limited.

"Morning, Kol," the boy greeted him. Kol grinned despite himself, giving Jeremy a quick hug before taking a seat. "I'm sorry for the weird stuff I did last night," Jeremy blurted. "I was drunk, which you know, of course--"

"It's alright," the warlock reassured him, saving him from rambling. He ignored how his chest hurt when Jeremy looked relieved and turned his attention to the teacher instead, who started going over theorems.

 _There is no place for you with us._ Nik's words, spoken centuries earlier, haunted Kol still. His own siblings hadn't wanted him around, and his father had been more concerned with his rage than his son. Jeremy Gilbert wanting to spend time with him was a foolish dream; it was obvious the boy already regretted what he'd done the evening prior. When the bell rang, signaling the end of the period, Kol started getting ready to leave, shooting Jeremy a weak smile that he hoped would detract from his obvious distraction.

"What's wrong?" the boy asked, and Kol cursed his transparency.

"Just tired," he replied, the words technically true. He had been weary of the world for nearly a millennium.

Their next class was a study hall. Jeremy seemed excited, and he was fidgeting as he waited for Kol to get out his books.

"I know you're new, but I was wondering if you wanted to go to the decade dance tonight?" Jeremy asked, tone casual. Kol was surprised, to say the least. _Was the boy asking him on a date?_ His hopes were crushed as Jeremy amended, "It's not a date, I just figured you wouldn't want to show up alone."

"Yeah, you're right," Kol said. "That would be nice," he finished lamely, not quite sure what to say.

 _Stupid!_ he mentally berated himself. _Jeremy Gilbert is not going to date you; if your own family didn't want you around, why would he? He's only asking you as a last resort, since he couldn't get a date._

"The theme is the 1960's," Jeremy said. Kol only nodded; the 60's were alright, he supposed, if you liked The Beatles and civil rights marches. He didn't mind the 60's.

In an attempt to extricate himself from the conversation, Kol cracked open his book. That failed rather spectacularly.

"What book is that? I didn't think we had to read anything for class," Jeremy interjected before the ghost could read a single word. It would have been annoying if Kol didn't find his energy so endearing.

"It's a commentary on Plato's Theory of Forms," Kol replied. "Put simply, the Forms are perfect examples of things we see in reality, like this book itself, that will never be reached."

"I didn't know you were into philosophy, but I guess you're interested in lots of things," the other boy mused, looking at Kol with an intrigued expression. "You knew quite a bit about Norse mythology last night."

Kol chucked, "You can blame my family for my interest in pagan lore."

"Will you two shut the hell up?" a harsh voice cut through their conversation. "It's bad enough that you're being a distraction in study hall, but you don't have to flaunt your sick lifestyle too."

"Chad, man, I'm sorry we're being a bit loud, but what do you mean 'lifestyle'?" Jeremy, seeming genuinely confused, tried to placate Chad.

"Did he screw your brains out last night too?" Chad snapped. "I mean that no one wants to see your disgusting display."

Kol was itching to kill Chad, but he knew that if he boiled the boy's blood, Jeremy would get suspicious, so he opted for a different approach. Without warning, he grabbed Chad by the collar and kissed him, taking advantage of his surprise to slip his tongue into the other boy's mouth. If there was one good thing being dead, it was that he couldn't feel Chad at all; the other boy had no such advantage, and he was still floundering after the warlock pulled away.

"I actually like girls," Kol said, grinning widely. "Guys are my type too, but someone has to offer girls a chance to avoid people like you, Chad."

Jeremy was struggling to hold back laughter as he and Kol grabbed their books, leaving a petrified Chad in their wake as they moved to a pair of desks across the room.

"Dude!" Jeremy exclaimed, cackling. "That was amazing; Chad's never going to live that down."

Kol flashed him a cheeky grin, noticing the human boy's eyes filled with admiration, and his cold, dead, semi-corporeal heart swelled with pride.

"I, uh," Jeremy started nervously. "I was wondering if you actually meant what you said, about liking both girls and guys?"

"Of course, darling; depriving either gender of my affections would be cruel," the ghost stated, voice brimming with confidence. "Do I have to kiss you, too?" he asked, secretly hoping that Jeremy would say "yes."

"Uh, no; I'm not homophobic or anything," his companion said in a rush, turning a lovely shade of red.

"Are you sure?" Kol inquired. "There's no harm in checking."

"How about a date first, Mikaelson?" the human replied, smiling tentatively.

The warlock felt like he was floating; this had to mean Jeremy was at least interested in guys. "How about the dance?" he asked, smiling even wider somehow when Jeremy nodded.

When the bell rang for lunch, Jeremy and Kol joined Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie at their table.

"Guys, this is Kol, the new student I was telling you about," Jeremy introduced him eagerly.

"Aw, you've been talking about me, darling?" Kol asked, feigning flattery. Then, he turned to the girls, "I'm Kol Mikaelson; it's a pleasure to meet you all."

"I'm Caroline," said a chipper blonde, offering a hand, which the warlock took, brushing his lips over her knuckles.

"Bonnie," the other girl interjected, giving him a nod. "I'd give you my hand, but this isn't the Dark Ages."

The whole table burst into laughter, and Kol took a seat between Caroline and Jeremy. "Nice to see you again, Elena," he greeted, reaching out a hand for the doppelganger's. "My apologies for not offering a proper introduction when we last spoke," he said, placing a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Elena!" a pretty brunette exclaimed, rushing up to their table before they could say anything further. From the looks on his new friends' faces, she wasn't another member of the group. "This is going to sound weird, but a totally hot guy asked you to save him a dance tonight. His name's Klaus," she gushed, and Kol's face went slack with fear before he replaced his amused mask.

He tuned out the next minute or so of conversation, trying to calm his nerves as he processed the fact that Nik not only had everything in place, as he suspected, but that his brother was toying with the doppelganger. When he focused on the doppelganger and her allies again, they all looked perturbed, even Jeremy, who Kol thought wasn't aware of the supernatural.

"Hey, Jeremy, something's come up with my family, but can you give me your number, so I can call you about tonight?" the ghost asked, pulling out his phone.

To his relief, the human boy complied without question, and as soon as his phone was back in his hands, Kol made his departure, "Something came up; I've got to go." Thankfully, the girls had their own concerns about Nik, so they didn't question his excuse.

As quickly as he could, he ran home, throwing open the door as soon as he arrived. The full moon wasn't that night, but he suspected his brother would want his doppelganger in his possession in advance, to ensure nothing went wrong. Kol, not being an imbecile, knew that Elena and her friend would try to fight back, endangering their lives, and he wasn't about to let his family hurt someone he cared for, much less himself. _If I encounter you again, brother, I will find a witch to eject your soul from its precarious place in this world,_ Niklaus had once vowed, and Kol knew better than to hope his brother had forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I've written two chapters in two days! This one was actually originally twice as long, but I decided to split it in half, so this chapter and the next will be a bit on the shorter side. Thank you to everyone who's read my story so far; I hope you guys enjoy it and leave feedback if you have any!
> 
> Your author  
> ~Aylin


	3. Perception Versus Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It turns out I'm super impatient; I like to update as soon as I finish a chapter, so enjoy this double update. I based the chapter off of s02 e18 'The Last Dance,' but changed most of the dialogue from what happens in the show, and most of it takes place in scenes that could fit into the TVD timeline but weren't on camera.

Kol chuckled at the irony; if Nik could, in fact, allow his soul to move on, he would be grateful, but he knew that the only way to break the spell tethering his soul to the living realm was through the sacrifice of a doppelganger, and where Niklaus's own curse was involved, he was paranoid beyond reason. He could very well have one of his witches keep Kol away from the sacrifice just because he had approached Jeremy, or even because Kol hadn't heeded his threat. Kol couldn't allow that, so he rushed to prepare, crushing herbs together and muttering charms that would hopefully protect him from spiritual magic--that is, spells which targeted a witch's soul. When he finally finished enchanting two charms, each with layers of protective magic, he donned one before pocketing the other for Jeremy, who had apparently obtained Kol's number at lunch and left him a text saying he'd pick him up at eight.

Checking the time on his phone, Kol was pleased to see that it was only a quarter 'til eight. He darted to his bedroom to find a nice suit, pleased when he spotted one he'd worn in the 70's. It was a decade too late, but he figured no one would notice; besides, he knew he looked dashing in it. As he was straightening his tie, he heard the doorbell ring, and he shouted a quick "coming!" before making his way to the door, finding not only Jeremy but Elena.

"Good evening, Elena, Jeremy," he greeted, placing a kiss on both of their hands in turn. "I actually have a gift for you, Jeremy," he said, showing the boy the protection charm he had enchanted. It was a metal talisman, engraved with Norse runes, and he had placed it on a silver chain. "I'd be honored if you wore it," he continued, smiling when Jeremy leaned forward for Kol to put the necklace on him.

"Thank you, Kol," Jeremy said earnestly. "Shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards the car.

Kol nodded and followed Jeremy, climbing into the back of the car with one of the men from the night before. "That's Damon," Jeremy informed him, motioning towards the dark-haired man with broad shoulders.

"Pleasure to meet you," Kol said, shaking his hand and noting the daylight ring, adorned with lapis, on the man's finger.

"I'm Stefan Salvatore," said the younger of two. "Damon's my older brother," he added, a bit hesitant, as he shook Kol's hand, revealing his matching ring. Of the two, the warlock decided he preferred Stefan, if only for his superior manners.

The drive was mostly silent, though Kol could practically feel the tension in the car--which was saying something, considering he couldn't physically feel. When they reached Mystic Falls High, Jeremy, who was sitting on the ghost's right, got out first, offering his date a hand, like a proper gentleman, to help him out of the car. If Kol took it grinning like a maiden, Jeremy didn't complain, and the two of them made their way inside, leaving Elena with her vampires.

They made their way into the gym, which had been decorated for the dance, and Kol couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed at how exuberant he felt. His smile softened as a slow song began to play, and he appraised Jeremy, who managed to look beautiful in a plain suit.

"May I have this dance?" Kol bowed low, like he had done so many times before for noblemen and women throughout the centuries.

When Jeremy offered his arm, the warlock took it, maneuvering them both onto the dancefloor in one sweeping motion. Gently, Kol arranged his partner so they were positioned for a waltz, with the ghost leading.

"Am I the girl in this dance?" Jeremy asked, amused.

"You can lead if you'd like, darling," Kol replied. "Are you skilled at the Viennese waltz? It's a family favorite."

"I suppose I could let you take the lead for this one," the human said, as if it were a great concession. He looked dubious, obviously doubting if Kol could dance or if he was about to embarrass them both spectacularly, but the taller of the two was touched that his date trusted him enough to go along with it regardless.

When Kol began the dance, each step performed with certainty, he savored the look of shock that crossed Jeremy's features as they moved. "There's a lot about me you don't know," he whispered, leaning close.

Partway through the song, Jeremy spotted something across the room that concerned him. "What's wrong?" Kol pressed, trying to convey that whatever it was, it wouldn't be a bother to him.

"I saw Elena and Bonnie leave; I think they might be in danger," Jeremy confessed, the words coming out in a rush.

"Let's go, then," Kol said, well aware that the 'danger' could be Nik, and that--despite himself--he found himself starting to care for the girls.

Jeremy looked surprised, as if he hadn't expected Kol to offer to help. He opened his mouth as if to protest, but he saw the determination in Kol's eyes, and--against his better judgement the warlock would assume--said nothing, leading Kol away from the dance instead. When the music became inaudible, the ghost heard a familiar voice--Mr. Saltzman--giving an uncomfortably Nik-like monologue. When Jeremy caught sight of his sister, there's nothing Kol could do to hold him back, and the boy darted into the hall, eyes widening in surprise when he saw Mr. Saltzman--Alaric.

"Hello, Jeremy," not-Alaric said. "Lovely of you to join us."

Kol stayed in the doorway, assessing the situation. Bonnie had a small gash on her heard, probably from being slammed against a locker by not-Alaric, and suddenly Kol remembered why she seemed familiar; her eyes were almost identical to Ayana's, a witch from his village when he was mortal, which meant--

"A Bennett witch," he breathed, not having meant to speak aloud. Not-Alaric must have known, must have given her a small concussion with the intent of impairing her concentration.

"You're Klaus," Elena's voice interrupts his thoughts, and the warlock immediately feels foolish as Nik smiles his signature smirk. His brother must have been possessing the teacher for days, having recognized him when he arrived to class the day before.

"Very good, Elena," Nik crooned. "Now, dear brother, I assume you realize hiding yourself is futile, so you might as well come and play!"

"Hello, Nik," Kol greeted, putting emphasis on the childhood nickname.

"Kol, you're--" Jeremy started.

"Jeremy, get away from him!" Elena said, pulling her brother close, not that it would do her much good, considering the trio--Elena, Bonnie, and Jeremy--had Nik on one side and Kol on the other.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Jer," the ghost pleaded. "Please believe me."

The human boy's eyes were filled with hurt and betrayal, so Kol amended, "That's why I came to Mystic Falls, but that's not why I'm here now, at this dance with you."

"As touching as this is," came Alaric's voice, though it was Nik who spoke. "I believe I have a promise to keep, dear brother, and I have a witch to help me." Nik rose a hand, and the trio watched, shocked, as nothing happened.

"Whoever your witch is, brother, it would seem I'm stronger," Kol spat.

"You are, yes, but your newest lover isn't," Nik mused, gaze settling on Jeremy, and a woman--Nik's witch--walked through the doors at the opposite end of the hall, moving to stand behind him. "Boil the boy's blood," Nik commanded.

Kol only watched smugly as she raised her hands and nothing happened, Jeremy standing confused but otherwise unharmed.

"You," Nik fumed, gaze settling on his brother. "Enough with your games, Kol."

"There's always times for games," the ghost replied, then he curled his fingers into a fist, giving Nik's witch an aneurysm. With a cry, she did the same to him, and the momentary distraction was all Nik needed to take a knife from his coat, hurling it at Bonnie.

As Kol snapped the nameless witch's neck, Bonnie's body fell to the ground, followed by a scream from the doppelganger. Incensed, the warlock threw his brother into a trophy case, shattering the glass.

"Leave, brother. You could try that knife trick on me but I doubt it would have much of an affect," Kol shouted, his voice carrying across the hall.

Nik, still in Alaric's body, left with a chuckle, aware that he would be allowed to exit so long as he was in the history teacher's body. His brother gone, the ghost turned his attention to Bonnie, Elena, and Jeremy.

"Get out," Jeremy said, his tone laced with venom. "If not for your brother, Bonnie would be alive."

Kol refrained from mentioning that Nik wanted him dead as well, opting to negotiate instead, "If you let me explain, I can bring Bonnie back."

"You can?" Elena asked, voice ragged from crying.

He nodded. "With the blood of a doppelganger, I can bring her soul from the Other Side and place it back in her body, after restoring it," he confirmed.

"What are we waiting for?" Jeremy intoned, moving to pick up Bonnie's body. "Let's do the spell, witch."

Kol nodded wordlessly, blinking back tears and cursing himself for it. He had lived for over a millennium and it only took a teenage boy's rejection to make him cry. _It seems Jeremy has come to his senses,_ the voice at the back of his whispered. _He realized that the only thing you bring is misery._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! Please leave kudos and comments, as they fuel my energy to write/update. Next chapter will likely be longer but not a double update, and I hope to get into some unique kinds of magic and more of Kol's backstory in this AU!
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	4. Scream a Little Louder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mental breakdown

The walk to the Salvatore estate was near-silent, though Kol was certain that, were he alive, his own pounding heartbeat would have filled the quiet. Jeremy had insisted on carrying Bonnie, and the human was shooting the warlock glares every few minutes, as if his anger alone would undo the disaster of the evening. When they reached their destination, Kol was aware how Elena and Bonnie gave him an odd look as he crossed the threshold.

"What are you?" Elena asked. "Klaus called you his brother, but I saw you do magic earlier, and you didn't need an invitation--" she trailed off, obviously confused by the whole ordeal. "Are you a witch?" she prompted.

"A warlock," he corrected gently.

"That's impossible," Jeremy ground out. "Klaus is ancient, so if you're his brother, you have to be centuries old; witches don't live that long."

"They don't," Kol confirmed. "I've been dead for over a thousand years." The Gilbert siblings went silent at that, and he could practically see the gears turning in the doppelganger's head. "I need adder's tongue, yew, anise, sage, frankincense, cypress, sandalwood, apatite, and peridot," he said, ignoring the question of his own existence he knew both were tempted to ask. "I'll also need a vial of doppelganger blood," he directed this last statement at Elena, who only nodded.

"You want us to kill an adder and bring you its tongue?" Jeremy asked. "And I don't even know where we're going to buy appetite," he mumbled.

"Adder's tongue is an herb; I'm sure you can find a gardening store," the ghost chuckled at the human's confusion. "And _apatite_ is a stone."

"Can't you just use something else?" Jeremy asked, annoyed.

"No," the warlock snapped. "Despite what you and your sister seem to believe, magic is not something to be played with or disrespected. Necromancy is considered a forbidden art in many covens, so unless you happen to know another witch with anything close to a semblance of competency in it, I suggest you stop complaining and help me resurrect Miss Bennett." He took a breath, using the redundant action to calm himself before continuing, "I will be in the sitting room, preparing the spell for when you return with everything I need."

Before waiting for a response, he left them in the entryway, making his way to the kitchen to find candles. To his surprise, he ran into Stefan Salvatore, the young vampire lurking in the hall.

"I assume you heard all of that?" Kol ventured a guess. Stefan nodded, having the decency to look apologetic. "Do you have any candles I can use?" he asked.

"Yeah, on the counter in the kitchen," the vampire replied. "For what it's worth, I don't blame you for Klaus's actions," he added, meeting Kol's gaze.

 _He may not blame you for_ _Nik,_ said a voice in the warlock's mind. _But he'll blame you for your own actions, for toying with your brother's witch instead of keeping Bonnie alive._ "It's not my fault," he mumbled, moving past Stefan to retrieve the seven candles he needed. Locating the living room, he arranged them in a circle.

 _Will it be your fault when you let your brother kill Elena? How about when you use her death to help your soul cross over?_ He waved a hand, lighting the candles all at once. "I can't stop Nik," he insisted. "The only thing I can do is make sure I'm there for the sacrifice!"

 _If you can't even fight your brother, then father was right; you're weak, and you hide behind magic._ "Shut up!" he shouted, running a hand through his hair. "I'm one of the strongest witches alive; I'm stronger than Nik," he said, voice breaking as he realized that was a lie. Not only was he dead, but he couldn't fight Niklaus.

 _You can't even die properly_ , the voice spat. _You were so desperate to stay in this world, and now that you've realized no one wants you, you're trapped, neither dead or alive._ "GET OUT!" he roared, eyes screwed shut and his head in his hands.

When the voice fell silent, he opened his eyes, finding himself curled on the ground. He couldn't remember how he got there. He was aware of his own chest heaving, though he knew he wasn't alive; he couldn't breathe. Dimly, he acknowledged the house shaking.

"This is Kol," came a distorted voice, as if his head was underwater. "I didn't realize he was this unstable; how is he going to bring back Bonnie like this?"

"I'm fine," he heard his own voice answer.

"No, you're not," came a deeper voice--Jeremy. "The house is still shaking, and you're still hunched over on the ground." Kol looked up at the boy. "Tell me about the spell," Jeremy told him, so Kol did.

"I'm going to use Elena's blood as an amplifier for my own magic," he said, or at least, he thought he did. Jeremy was nodding reassuringly, so he assumed he had, in fact, spoken aloud. "There's adder's tongue, sandalwood, and sage for healing; frankincense for protection; anise for purification; cypress and peridot for longevity; apatite for spiritual communication; yew as a standard for necromancy," he elaborated, growing calmer with each word.

Jeremy motioned for Stefan to bring Bonnie's body, lying it down at the center of the candles. Wordlessly, he handed Kol the bag of herbs and stones he had requested, watching as the warlock got to work grinding the herbs with a mortar and pestle. He set the two stones at opposite ends of the circle, then, looking satisfied, turned to Elena, "Your blood?"

She looked to her brother, who nodded, before handing over the glass. The room's occupants watched in fascination as the blood was added to the ground herbs, making a sort of blood soup. Then, without warning, he emptied the bowl over Bonnie's body, covering her from head to toe.

Taking a place between the two stones, Kol moved out of the circle and began to chant, "ᛟᚺ, ᚺᛖᛚ, ᚱᛖᛚᛁᚾᚲᚢᛁᛋᚺ ᚨ ᛋᛟᚢᛚ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᚷᚱᚨᛋᛈ. ᛖᛁᚱ, ᚱᛖᛋᛏᛟᚱᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛒᛟᛞᛃ. ᛒᚱᛁᚾᚷ ᚺᛖᚨᛚᛏᚺ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛋᛏᚱᛖᚾᚷᛏᚺ, ᛚᛁᚠᛖ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛞᛖᚨᛏᚺ." The candle flames flared. "ᛟᚺ, ᚺᛖᛚ, ᚱᛖᛚᛁᚾᚲᚢᛁᛋᚺ ᚨ ᛋᛟᚢᛚ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᚷᚱᚨᛋᛈ. ᛖᛁᚱ, ᚱᛖᛋᛏᛟᚱᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛒᛟᛞᛃ. ᛒᚱᛁᚾᚷ ᚺᛖᚨᛚᛏᚺ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛋᛏᚱᛖᚾᚷᛏᚺ, ᛚᛁᚠᛖ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛞᛖᚨᛏᚺ," he continued, voice raising in volume. "ᛟᚺ, ᚺᛖᛚ, ᚱᛖᛚᛁᚾᚲᚢᛁᛋᚺ ᚨ ᛋᛟᚢᛚ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛃᛟᚢᚱ ᚷᚱᚨᛋᛈ. ᛖᛁᚱ, ᚱᛖᛋᛏᛟᚱᛖ ᛏᚺᛖ ᛒᛟᛞᛃ. ᛒᚱᛁᚾᚷ ᚺᛖᚨᛚᛏᚺ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛋᛏᚱᛖᚾᚷᛏᚺ, ᛚᛁᚠᛖ ᚠᚱᛟᛗ ᛞᛖᚨᛏᚺ!"

The flames were extinguished; then, Bonnie sat up, very much alive. "Where's Klaus? Why am I covered in blood?" she asked, confused.

"Bonnie!" Elena exclaimed, wrapping her friend in a hug despite the mix of blood and herbs. "You died, and Kol brought you back."

Damon chose then to enter the room, taking in the scene before frowning, "You could have done this outside or put down a sheet instead of getting blood on my floors."

"Shut up, Damon," Jeremy said. "Kol resurrected Bonnie," he breathed, looking at the warlock appreciatively. Then, apparently forgetting that he was angry at the ghost, he pulled him into a hug. "Thank you; I never doubted you," he whispered. "Now, you deserve to rest after all that necromancy."

Jeremy stepped back, meaning to lead Kol to a bedroom, but the warlock lost his balance when the human pulled away, swaying slightly before Jeremy righted him. "I didn't realize ghosts could get tired," he joked.

"I can't--physically, at least, but spirits are essentially energy; I'm not a necromancer, so that spell took more magic than I anticipated," Kol explained.

"So you are a ghost, then?"

"Yeah," the ghost confirmed. "I'm semi-corporeal in this world because of an old spell."

Jeremy nodded, taking his hand and pulling him away, towards the guest bedrooms. The warlock was too drained to protest, so he allowed himself to be lead away, barely registering Damon's protests that the boarding house wasn't a hotel. When they came upon a room, Kol noticed that it looked rather lived-in.

His companion must have noticed, because he started blushing, "Damon told me I wasn't allowed to give away any more rooms, so I figured you wouldn't mind staying with me." The warlock gave a non-committal hum, taking in the room, which was rather generic save for a desk covered in sketches. "The bathroom is the first door to your right, so you can take a shower if you want," Jeremy added.

Kol nodded, grateful to have something to do. He made his way to the bathroom, undressing and stepping into the shower. He let the familiar noise wash over him, sighing softly. He certainly hadn't planned to do any necromancy when he woke up that morning. Nevertheless, it seemed fate enjoyed changing his plans. When he stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, he was met with Jeremy, blushing a deep shade of red, and Kol cursed himself for not paying his surroundings any mind.

"I thought you might need to borrow some clothes," Jeremy said, and the warlock smiled gratefully before accepting them and starting to get dressed.

"Uh--" the human stammered. "Sure, you can, uh, change here, I guess."

Now clothed, Kol tilted his head in confusion at his reaction. Then, he remembered where he was, "Oh, I forgot you people are so concerned with modesty." He gave Jeremy an apologetic look; the fact had truly slipped his mind.

"Oh, it's fine," Jeremy lied, quite obviously in the other's opinion. "But what exactly is 'you people' supposed to mean?"

"When I was alive, it would refer to Christians; they had all these rules for how people ought to dress and behave it was a wonder they managed to memorize them all. Now, I suppose it would mean most people; Christian beliefs grew quite popular over the centuries," Kol mused. "My family were Danes, never saw the point in modesty." Jeremy looked slightly less red, though he was still eyeing Kol warily. "If it makes you feel better, I can't actually feel anything," the warlock added.

"You can't feel?" the human asked.

"Not at all," Kol confirmed, settling down on the bed. "This body isn't real; to you, it seems as if I'm alive. You can see and hear me, touch and feel me even, but it's still an illusion. I can't feel anyone else's touch, not pain nor temperature."

This knowledge did, in fact, seem to make Jeremy feel better, because he climbed into bed next to Kol, who realized that the other boy had showered already, probably going to someone else's room, and the warlock felt a tad guilty. "Sorry I stole your bathroom," he mumbled, earning a laugh from Jeremy.

"Don't feel too bad, it's not like I live here," he assured Kol. "I'm sorry about earlier, when I got mad at you for being Klaus's brother," he continued. "At first, I thought you only wanted to be around me because of Elena, but then I remembered the necklace you gave me. When Klaus told his witch to kill me, nothing happened, then I remembered how much you seem to know about magic. It's a protection charm, which means you do care about me," Jeremy finished, looking pleased with himself for figuring that out.

Kol didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded. For once, the tiny voice in his head stayed silent.

Jeremy leaned forward then, as if to kiss the warlock, then blushed and pulled back. "I forgot already; you can't feel anything, I just--" he cut himself off, embarrassed, which the ghost found adorable.

Kol had been told that he was foolish and impulsive many times, and if he were Niklaus, he might have tried to prove those things false, but he decided he'd rather kiss Jeremy, so he did, enjoying the human's surprise momentarily before pulling away. It was a chaste kiss, but Jeremy was still blushing furiously, drawing a laugh from Kol. "My brother already thinks we're together, darling, so we might as well be, as long as he's going to try to kill us both," the warlock quipped, waving a hand and turning off the lights.

By the moonlight leaking in through the window, Kol pulled Jeremy's arm around his waist, relishing the meaning of the action itself rather than the feeling. "Good night," he breathed, so quietly he doubted briefly if the other boy had heard.

"Good night, Kol," came Jeremy's reply, and not for the first time, the warlock wondered what it might be like to be among the living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spell in the chapter is in Old Norse, and I just used an internet translator, so I apologize if it's inaccurate. As for the plot, I honestly intended less fluff, but then this happened, and I don't regret it.
> 
> I am completely obsessed with this story right now, hence the updating spree, so I hope you guys have enjoyed! The next update probably won't be as quick, since I'll be busy with other things during the week, but I do have its plot planned already, so it should be soon. Next chapter will have some Original family drama and (maybe) Elijah. Thank you so much to everyone who's read so far!
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	5. Hold Me Closer

Jeremy had never understood couples who liked to cuddle, but now, lying next to Kol, he thought he was beginning to understand. Once he got over not being able to feel Kol's heartbeat--he was dead, after all--he found that having the warlock next to him was comforting. Practically, it was probably because Kol had protected him from Klaus and displayed that he was one of the strongest witches around, but Jeremy couldn't help but attribute some of that security to the fact that the ghost was so warm. He remembered, of course, that Kol's body wasn't real, but he couldn't find it in himself to care, not as he held the other boy--because Kol looked quite young to him--in his arms.

The night before, Jeremy wouldn't have foreseen that this would be how he spent his morning. When confronted with a naked, thousand year old, dead warlock, the human had realized the potential danger of being left alone with the aforementioned supernatural being. When Kol divulged that he couldn't actually feel, being a semi-corporal ghost, he was both impressed and embarrassed that his worry had been so easily detected. Logically, he knew the warlock wouldn't do anything he was uncomfortable with, yet--being a human--Jeremy was all too aware of his relative weakness in the supernatural world, so he appreciated the knowledge that Kol would gain nothing from any intimate relations between the two. This was why, when the warlock kissed him, Jeremy understood the magnitude of the gesture; Kol wasn't being self-serving, he wanted to make Jeremy happy. He thought it was the first time someone had gone out of their way to show him that they cared, that they were there for him.

Unfortunately, a glance at the clock on his nightstand told him that it was a quarter past noon, which meant the others would be awake by now. Regretfully, he extracted his hand from Kol's grasp, unwrapped himself from his companion, and started getting ready for the day. Descending the stairs and coming upon the living room, he heard a familiar cacophony of voices, joined by a new one.

Elena was the first to notice him. "Morning, Jer. I undaggered Elijah this morning, and we've been talking about Klaus," she explained. "Elijah thinks it's possible to kill Klaus when he breaks his curse."

"Well, that's just lovely," Kol's voice cut through the room. He hadn't bothered to change out of the pajamas he'd borrowed from Jeremy, but he strode into the room with confidence nevertheless. "It seems you've finally tired of sucking face with Niklaus, 'Lijah."

The room grew still; any lingering chatter halted, and the air grew tense. It was Elijah who broke it, though only with a single word, a name, "Kol." The Original's voice was shaky for the first time Jeremy could remember. "How are you here?" Elijah asked, eyes filling with emotion; he looked at Kol like he'd lost something precious, only to have found it again, and the human couldn't help but feel a tad jealous. From the way Kol had phrased his barb, it seemed as if the two men had personal history, romantic in nature if he guessed correctly. "Kol, I thought you had passed on," Elijah tried again.

"Is that what you tell yourself?" the warlock snapped. "For all that you talk of nobility, you're just a liar." His voice was raising in volume, and Jeremy thought he saw tears in Kol's eyes.

"Niklaus told me you were gone, my dearest Kol," Elijah choked out, his words more plea than statement.

Kol laughed darkly. "Well, I suppose I was. After you decided you didn't want me anymore, I felt no need to stay," he replied, a single tear sliding down his cheek. "See, that's the thing, 'Lijah. After you and Niklaus ran off into the sunset to enjoy your millennium, I found that you weren't the only ones who didn't want me," the warlock finished, chest heaving, although Jeremy knew it was pointless; the action was Kol's attempt at calming himself, though it didn't seem effective.

"He told me your soul had moved on to the Other Side!" Elijah shouted. "Niklaus mourned you for years; we all did. I had no reason to--" he trailed off, meeting Kol's gaze. "I had no reason to believe he lied," the Original finished.

"No," Kol breathed, running a hand through his hair. "No!" he roared, shattering the dam. "It's been nine hundred years, Elijah. You didn't protect me from him, all this time. You failed me, and Niklaus ruined me! I--" he sobbed, unable to continue. 

In an instant, the Original had used his vampire speed to cross the room, holding Kol while the warlock broke down in his arms. Gently, Elijah brought his hand to the side of Kol's face, forcing him to meet his gaze. "I am so sorry, Kol, my brother," he crooned.

"What?" Elena blurted, breaking the delicate moment and voicing Jeremy's own thought aloud.

"Kol is my younger brother," Elijah confirmed, voice quiet as he continued to embrace the warlock. "Nine hundred years ago, it would seem our brother Klaus lied to us both. He told Kol that our family didn't want him anymore, and our siblings and I that Kol's spirit had moved on, unable to stay tethered in this world."

"Even so, how can you want to kill your own brother?" Elena asked, glancing at Jeremy. "Klaus is still your family."

"Klaus locked our other two siblings in coffins and dumped them into the ocean," the Original enunciated, and Jeremy saw Kol stiffen as his brother spoke. "Now knowing what he did to Kol, I no longer consider him my family; he needs to die," Elijah finished.

"That's a nice sentiment, but how exactly are we going to kill him?" Damon inquired, and Jeremy had to admit he was considering the same. 

"When Klaus breaks his curse, he will be at his most vulnerable," the older vampire explained. "At that time, he--like any creature--can be killed by the servants of nature themselves."

"But the doppelganger will have to die," Kol added, and Jeremy remembered that the warlock was still in the room. 

"Then we don't let him break the curse," Damon said, as if it were easy. "Bonnie can kill him with her magic as he is."

"Bonnie will die if she channels that much power," Elena protested.

"Then Kol will do it; it's not like he can die again," Damon insisted. Jeremy opened his mouth as if to protest, then closed it. As much as he hated to admit it, what Damon said did make sense.

"No," the ghost responded.

"Why not?" Jeremy asked. "You brought Bonnie back from the dead; you have more than enough magic to do this."

Kol's gaze hardened, and he pulled away from Elijah, turning to face the younger Gilbert sibling. "I brought back the Bennett witch because I knew her ancestor, Ayana, but I'm not your pet warlock. I don't owe Elena anything," he snapped, and the human frowned. 

"That can't be the reason," Jeremy insisted, eyes narrowing. "You're hiding something from us." Kol stiffened for a moment, and the human knew he was right. Then, he thought back to what he had said, _the doppelganger will have to die_. "You want Elena dead," he concluded, voice quavering.

The air in the room went thick with tension, and Kol couldn't meet any of their stares. "I don't know anymore," he finally admitted.

"What does that mean?" Stefan asked, as if he were questioning a child. "Kol, what are you unsure about?"

"I don't know if I still want to die," the warlock answered, a single tear running down his cheek. "Are you happy now, to finally know what I've kept from you?"

"What does that have to do with me?" Elena asked.

"When my mother placed the hybrid curse on Klaus, she sacrificed a doppelganger, Tatia. Sacrifice is a powerful form of magic, so I channeled the energy from her death to bind my soul to this world; the only way to reverse the spell is through the sacrifice of another doppelganger," Kol breathed. "It doesn't matter to me if Klaus breaks his curse, but I need to sacrifice a doppelganger to move on to the afterlife; Klaus happens to be the most convenient way to accomplish that," he explained, looking up to face Elena. "I am sorry," he said, words laced with emotion.

The warlock looked so miserable, his eyes brimming with emotions Jeremy couldn't name, that he couldn't find it in himself to be angry. _How terrible must Kol's existence have been that he's so desperate to die? Is that even what he wants anymore?_ The human found Kol's explanation to only beget questions, but he knew the ghost wouldn't appreciate being interrogated, not now.

"Kol--" Elijah started, looking ready to apologize.

"It's not your fault, 'Lijah," his brother cut him off. "You didn't kill me, nor did you turn me away for all these years; I don't blame you, I'm just," he paused, obviously struggling to find the right word. "I'm just tired, brother," the warlock finished, pulling Elijah into a hug.

"I know," the Original murmured. "But you can stay, Kol. You've been alone for nine hundred years; stay with me, and we can be a family again."

"Always and forever?" the warlock asked.

"Always and forever," Elijah repeated. "Please stay, Kol," he pleaded.

"Alright," Kol breathed, so quiet Jeremy would have thought he'd imagined it, if not for the way the Original held his brother tighter, if that was even possible. "Elena will still have to die, though," he said, raising his voice so everyone in the room could hear. "It was my mother who created Klaus, which means I'm not powerful enough to kill him unless he first renders himself vulnerable during his transition into a hybrid," he elaborated, then smirked softly. "The good news is that I can bring her back, but I want something in return."

"You want to bargain for Elena's life?" Damon snarled.

"I like to think of it as bargaining for my life," Kol quipped. "To bring her back, I'll need doppelganger blood; all I want is a little bit extra."

"Why?" the younger Salvatore asked, still hostile to the idea, as if he thought Kol could hurt Elena through her blood. To be fair, Jeremy thought that was a plausible assumption, but he doubted Kol needed Elena's blood for that purpose, given his power.

"If I am to stay, I'm going to do it properly; if you accept my deal, Elena won't be the only one who gets to live," the ghost replied. "I'm going to bring myself back, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with the story so far! This chapter was a bit short, but I hope to get another one written soon. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this short Jeremy POV, since I wanted to switch it up, but Kol POV's will be back next chapter.
> 
> Be sure to leave kudos or comments if you enjoyed or have any feedback!
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	6. Breathe Life Into Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: child-abuse (Mikael's A+ parenting)

Kol was met by stunned silence, but he didn't let it faze him, grinning widely. "If you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for the spells. Jeremy, if you would?" he prompted, making to leave and hoping the human would follow. To his relief, Jeremy trailed him out of the boarding house without a moment's hesitation.

When they made it outside, the warlock let his expression fall, turning to Jeremy, "I'm sorry, darling." The apology was shaky; he was worried his companion would hate him. After all, up until five minutes ago, Kol had been planning to have Klaus sacrifice Elena.

Jeremy was shaking his head, and Kol couldn't look at him; he couldn't watch those gorgeous eyes fill with anger when the human started cursing him to the ends of the earth. Naturally, he was surprised when he saw Jeremy move to wrap him in a hug. "You don't have to apologize, Kol," he murmured. "We only met two days ago, and you had no connection to Elena or me. You just wanted to end your own pain, right?" he asked. Kol nodded, and the human pulled away slightly, shooting him a small smile, "A lot has changed in the past two days."

The ghost knew he didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve Jeremy to forgive him, or to even want to look at him after everything, yet here the human stood, gazing at Kol like he was the best thing in the world. "Hey, where are we going?" Jeremy asked, taking Kol's hand.

"Grave robbing," the warlock chuckled. "Well, can you really rob your own grave?" he asked.

"Not that I don't love the idea of spending some time with you, but why are we robbing a grave--your grave, to be exact?" the human asked, perplexed.

"We need my remains to bring me back to life," Kol answered, voice tinged with amusement at Jeremy's confusion. "I also want you here because," he paused, unsure for a moment. "I want you to know I didn't just choose to stay for Elijah; I want to stay for you, too," he finished.

"Oh," the human replied, blushing profusely. "You're very forward," he muttered awkwardly. "Is that a Dane thing or just your personality?"

"A mix of both, I'd like to think," Kol shot back with a cheeky grin. "Now, as a Dane, I feel it would only be fitting that we commandeer a car," he stated, waving a hand and unlocking a random sports car parked along the street.

Shaking his head fondly, Jeremy followed the warlock into the Porsche. "Can you even drive this thing?" he asked, watching Kol adjust the mirrors.

"Of course, darling," the ghost replied, starting the car and driving away. Seeing his companion's look of relief, he feigned offense, "Did you really think I'd put your life in danger?"

"No!" Jeremy insisted. "I just figured that, with you being over a thousand years old, you wouldn't be so good at driving," he admitted. "Forgive me?"

"Always," Kol replied with a wink.

"You said something similar earlier, when you were talking to Elijah. What exactly does it mean?" the human inquired.

"You mean always and forever?" the warlock clarified. Jeremy nodded. Kol smiled softly, remembering, "After our mother died, Elijah, Klaus, and Rebekah--our sister--made a promise that the lot of them would stay together 'always and forever,' but Finn--our eldest brother--and I were never part of that promise."

"So when you asked Elijah, that meant you wanted to be included, too?"

"It's why I chose to stay," Kol confirmed. "You probably think it's pathetic, but after a thousand years, I just want to be part of my own family again," he admitted.

"I think it's beautiful," the human insisted. "Family is precious, Kol; I'd never begrudge you being loyal to yours."

The warlock looked surprised, "Now, you sound like Elijah."

"Should I take that as an insult?" Jeremy asked, only to be met by laughter. "Elijah is formal and boring," the human defended.

"He wasn't always. When my siblings were first turned, he was our family's protector, and he kept us together for a century. Even before that--when we were all mortal--'Lijah always looked after us," Kol remembered. "When Mikael--my father--was upset with me, Elijah often took the blame, and he wasn't the only one; Klaus would take punishments for Rebekah, too."

"You make them both sound noble, but it can't have been that bad, right? Parents usually just make you do chores," Jeremy asked, voice soft as if he were afraid of the answer.

"Mikael was cruel, though none of us had it as bad as Klaus," Kol replied. "What Mikael did to him is not my truth to tell," the warlock added, seeing curiosity flash across the human's features. "But once, when he caught me practicing magic, he sent me into the woods with only a sword and the clothes on my back for a fortnight--two weeks. He thought witchcraft was a 'woman's pursuit,' that it made me soft, so he took it upon himself to make me strong," he spat, the revelation laced with venom.

"I'm sorry," his companion murmured.

"Don't be; Mikael succeeded, after all," came Kol's sharp admonishment. "Never mind that; we've arrived," he continued, parking the car along a dirt road and getting out to survey the area.

"This is where you used to live?" Jeremy asked.

"A thousand years ago, yes," the warlock confirmed. "I should be buried over there," he gestured to a spot at the edge of the clearing.

"How do you know?" the human asked. "Please tell me you're not just guessing," he added, donning a look of horror at the prospect of digging up random areas until they found the right one.

Kol rolled his eyes. "You have so little faith in me, darling. I know that's the correct spot because I can sense the lingering magic in my bones," he declared. "While my soul contains most of my power, my physical body does have magical properties, which is why witch bloodlines are so important."

Without further hesitation, he closed his eyes and outstretched both hands. Then, the dirt started to move away, and a hole began to form roughly the side of a human body until a glint of metal caught Jeremy's eye.

"I see something!" he exclaimed, and the warlock opened his eyes, catching sight of the metal and grinning widely.

He got on his knees and pulled a gleaming blade out of the dirt, his eyes lighting up as he studied it. "This is mine, Jeremy," Kol breathed, brushing his fingers over the blade in awe as if he could actually feel it. "I enchanted it when I was alive so that it would remain intact, but I didn't realize how strong the spell was," he continued, giddy like a child on Christmas morning.

Setting the blade aside, he rose and continued removing the dirt with magic, the human watching in a combination of amazement and disgust as a human skeleton took form before their eyes.

"Those are your remains?" Jeremy asked incredulously. "I thought they'd be in better condition."

"I've been dead for over a thousand years," the warlock deadpanned, and his companion had the decency to look sheepish. "At least they'll be a lovely surprise for Damon, though," he smirked, waving a hand and teleporting the bones to the boarding house. "I hope your sister and her friends aren't too attached to the living room at the moment," Kol said, directing the comment at Jeremy.

"Did you really just send your bones there?"

"I've never been one to bluff, darling," he winked back, sending Jeremy into a fit of laughter as they started their drive back to town.

The trip was spent in comfortable silence, and the warlock was almost hesitant to go back into the boarding house when they arrived, seeing as it would mean the end of his field trip with Jeremy. They had been gone all day; the moon was already high in the sky, but he couldn't help wanting more time. The human only took his hand and pulled him inside, and Kol was shocked--not for the first time--at how well the other boy could read his emotions.

"What are you doing here?" the sharp voice of Alaric, the history teacher Klaus was possessing, greeted Kol as he walked in.

"I'm here to help Elena," he replied, wary of the man's distrust.

"Wait a minute, are you the witch Damon was going on about?"

"Warlock, actually," the ghost corrected.

"Alaric, you seem upset. What happened while we were gone?" Jeremy asked.

"Damon fed Elena his blood, convinced that your warlock wasn't going to hold up his end of the deal and bring back Elena," the hunter said.

Kol scoffed sardonically, "That idiot is going to get what he wants now, I suppose."

"You're backing out of the spell over this?" Alaric snapped.

"I can't do the spell now," the warlock enunciated, as if explaining magic to a child. "If Elena dies with vampire blood in her system and awakens in transition, I won't be able to resurrect her as a human because she won't truly be dead."

"What about after?" Jeremy inquired, desperate for a way to save his sister. "If she doesn't turn, she'll die and you can resurrect her."

"No, I can't," Kol said, apologetic. "You lot seem to have misconceptions as to what a resurrection actually constitutes, so I'll spell it out for you. There is no such thing as a resurrection spell. There are three spells, used in tandem, that make up a resurrection ritual: first, the soul is retrieved; second, the body is restored; third, the soul is placed in the desired body, whatever its present state happens to be. If Elena dies without completing her transition, her body will remain in transition, no matter how many times I put her soul back into it."

"You said 'desired body'; does that mean you can put a soul into a body that isn't their own?" the hunter suggested.

"Yes, but the body would have to undergo a ritual so that it doesn't reject the foreign soul, and that process takes days we don't have. Regardless, we'd have to first find a body to put Elena into, and I doubt she'd condone that, seeing as it's not exactly kosher," Kol explained.

"Then there's nothing we can do?" Jeremy ground out. "We can't stop Klaus from completing the ritual, seeing as he's immortal, so Elena is either going to die for good or become a vampire?"

"Not necessarily," the warlock breathed, an idea starting to form. "I can make an elixir for Elena, one that--if ingested--would bring her back after death as a human before the vampire blood in her system began her transition."

"Does an elixir like that even exist?" Alaric questioned.

"Not yet, but I can invent one," Kol mused, praying his gambit would prove successful. Both Jeremy and the hunter were silent; there was nothing any of them could do but trust the Mikaelson warlock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to find a good balance between taking elements from the show and making the plot original. The elixir Kol suggests is derived from the one Elijah had for Katerina in TVD since I couldn't resist keeping Damon's feeding Elena vampire blood. John Gilbert won't be arriving at Mystic Falls in my AU, so he won't die, and Jeremy won't come into possession of the Gilbert ring like in TVD, so please let me know what you think of the canon divergence/canon compliance balance!
> 
> The next chapter will be uploaded soon, and thank you so much for reading! Be sure to leave kudos and/or comments if you enjoyed or have feedback.
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	7. Savor The Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mental breakdown

As he strode into the living room, Kol was greeted by the sight Elena, Bonnie, and both Salvatores.

"First you pour blood all over our floor, then you use it to arrange ancient bones. Not the best house guest, if you ask me," Damon drawled.

"I'm not the one who fed Elena vampire blood," the warlock snapped, glaring at the vampire.

"Relax, Casper," the elder Salvatore responded. "It's just an insurance policy."

Kol gave him an aneurism, sending him to the ground as he clutched his head in pain. "It's a death sentence, thanks to the incompetence of everyone here," the ghost snarled. "I can't bring Elena back to life if she dies with vampire blood in her system, you imbecile, because it will send her body into transition. I can put her soul back into it, but I can't undo the beginning of the vampirism ritual."

"You're not strong enough for that?" Bonnie asked, eyes wide with shock. "Your mother created vampires to begin with, you have to be able to do something about this," she insisted, more a plea than a demand.

"Despite what you believe, I'm not more powerful than my mother. Perhaps if I'd lived longer, if I had more time to grow powerful," he trailed off. "All supernatural beings gain strength with age, and I died at eighteen," Kol lamented.

"You killed her," Stefan declared, leveling his gaze at his brother. "If you hadn't been so paranoid, we would have been able to revive her!"

"I was trying to help!" Damon defended himself.

"All of you, just stop," Elena said, voice cutting through the tension. "I'm still alive, and I'm right here. Kol, is there anything you can do?"

"The current plan is to create an elixir that will bring you back as a human before your body goes into transition," he replied. "I'll start on it in the morning."

"Why wait?" Bonnie asked.

"I'll be up most of the night inventing the elixir from nothing," Kol explained. "The thing we need to save Elena doesn't currently exist."

"I'm going to go see if I can postpone the ritual," Damon declared, using his vampire speed to leave before anyone could protest.

Despite everything, the warlock found himself smiling softly as Jeremy dragged him to their room. Damon had more in common with Klaus than the elder Salvatore would care to admit; both were driven by their paranoia, their mistrust of others, though Kol knew his brother's was well-founded. The two of them feared being alone more than the ire of those close to them.

 _Niklaus was afraid of you_ , a voice at the back of his mind whispered, and the likelihood of it made sense. Kol was a powerful warlock, and he wasn't a vampire like his siblings; Nik must have been afraid of betrayal, seeing as witches were servants of nature, and the thought brought the ghost a pang of regret, then something darker. _You scare people away._ "I'm not dangerous," he murmured, the words more of a reassurance to himself than a proper response. "I won't hurt anyone," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

 _Even now, you're unraveling, losing control. How much longer 'til you snap once and for all?_ the voice taunted him. "I'm not going to snap," he protested.

"Who are you talking to?" Jeremy asked, coming to a stop in the middle of the hall.

 _Are you sure you haven't gone mad already? You're talking to a voice in your head_ , it crooned, mocking the warlock. "I'm not crazy!" he insisted.

"Kol, I never said you were," the human said, voice soft, as if he thought the ghost was on the verge of a breakdown. Kol couldn't find it in himself to be upset; wasn't that the current situation?

 _Even if Niklaus lied to your other siblings, he didn't want you. Your own mother only saw you as a continuation of her magical gifts, and your father thought you were pathetic,_ the thoughts kept bubbling to the surface. "I'm more than that. I'm worth more than that. My family wanted me!" he screamed, vaguely aware of the lights starting to flicker. "Get out!"

Jeremy made as if to leave, and Kol grabbed him by the arm, eyes full of desperation, "Stay, please. I need you here; I just want the voice in my head to leave."

"What does it say?" the human asked, wrapping his arms around the warlock gently.

"It says that I'm going insane, that my family never cared for me, and that I'm dangerous," Kol whispered, burying his face in the crook of Jeremy's neck. "It's not wrong."

"Kol, you are not going insane," the human told him, pulling back slightly to look him in the eye. "This is all a product of your insecurities, your fears. You are in control, yeah?"

The warlock nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"You are not defined by your insecurities, do you understand? You control who you are," Jeremy insisted, voice heavy with emotion.

"Yes," Kol breathed, and the lights returned to normal. "Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't realize--"

"It's not your fault," Jeremy cut him off. "You want to go work on the spell?"

"Elixir," the warlock corrected, smirking.

The human chuckled, pulling him into the bedroom. "How exactly does this work?" he asked.

"I lied about needing the night to come up with the elixir. I already have an idea of what ingredients to combine, but I can't start until morning, since I plan to channel the sunrise as a symbol of new life," Kol replied. "I just wanted some time alone with you before the sacrifice tomorrow."

Jeremy started blushing at that, and the ghost couldn't resist pulling him onto the bed. He was quite stunning when he blushed. Well, the warlock supposed he always found him beautiful, but his point stood. "Darling, do you remember when Alaric called me 'your warlock'?" Kol asked tentatively.

"I'm sorry about that," the human mumbled, sheepish. "I remember when you said you weren't anyone's 'pet warlock,' so I should've corrected him. He shouldn't disrespect you like that; you don't belong to any of us."

"Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to change that?" the warlock in question ventured.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Jeremy sputtered, looking adorable as always when he was confused.

Kol shrugged, "I don't mind being 'your warlock,' if you'll have me, that is. I know we only met three days ago, but so much has changed since then. You make me feel alive, Jeremy, for the first time in a thousand years. Even before I found out the truth from Elijah, I savored every moment I spent with you; I knew I'd miss you if I moved on."

"Well, I do like the idea of calling you mine," the human mused, leaning over to kiss his warlock.

A sharp knock on the door had Jeremy ready to pull away, only for Kol to gently move him closer instead, so that Jeremy was in his lap.

"Jeremy, how is--" Elena started, walking into the room.

Pulling away, Kol greeted her, "Glad to see you're holding up well, Elena."

"Kol," she said, obviously unsure of what to say. "I was just going to ask how the elixir is coming along," she tried instead.

"I already have an idea for how to make it," the warlock assured her. "We just need to wait for sunrise, to harness the power of the morning sun."

She looked pleasantly surprised, "In that case, can I talk to you, Kol?" The 'alone' was implied, so Jeremy awkwardly removed himself from his warlock and left the room, brushing past his older sister.

The warlock, to his credit, looked completely relaxed, gesturing to the bed for the doppelganger to take a seat.

She wasted no time, "Since you and my brother are obviously," she trailed off, unsure what to call them.

"Lovers?" Kol prompted.

"You mean-- The two of you-- You slept with my little brother?" Elena stammered out, and admittedly, the warlock probably should have used a different term. "The two of you are," she started.

"Courting?" the warlock tried again to finish for her.

"You're engaged? You met three days ago!" Elena got even more flustered, somehow, and Kol really should have brushed up on modern vernacular.

"It's whatever it is you're doing with Stefan, whatever it is you people call it nowadays; I can't keep up with your new terminology," the warlock explained, and she immediately looked relieved.

"You're dating? He's your boyfriend?" she pressed.

"I'm going to assume both of those questions mean the same thing and go with 'yes,'" Kol replied, glad he'd seemed to say the right thing because Elena seemed much calmer.

Then, she looked embarrassed, "I probably should have figured you'd call it something old-fashioned, but to clarify, you didn't sleep with my brother, right?"

The warlock burst into laughter, "I'm sorry, but--" he paused to take a redundant breath. "Jeremy is sixteen," he says, as if talking to a small child. "I've been alive--well, on earth, that is--for over a thousand years; I plan on waiting for him to get older before taking him to bed." Elena started blushing again. "I said something wrong again, didn't I?" Kol groaned.

She nodded apologetically, "No one has said 'taking him to bed' for at least a century."

He rolled his eyes dramatically, lamenting with mock disappointment, "All of you kids these days are trying to tell me how to speak my own language."

"Lying to my sister now?" Jeremy asked, leaning against the doorframe casually. "We both know you only speak with an English accent so you can say stuff like that; you're a Dane."

"My mother was a Saxon," the warlock protested. "It counts."

"How long have you been listening?" Elena asked.

Her brother shrugged, "Only the past thirty seconds; I figured the more serious part of your conversation was over already." At his sister's incredulous look, he added, "I'm human, not deaf, and I would really appreciate it if you stopped interrogating my warlock about my sex life."

"Your warlock?" Elena questioned, looking at Kol, who only winked at her. "I guess I'll just leave the two of you," she conceded, making to leave.

Once she was gone, Jeremy started laughing, "You left out the part about you not being able to feel anything on purpose, didn't you?"

"No, actually. Well, yes," he amended. "But I didn't do it to mess with her; it just won't be true anymore after tomorrow."

"I honestly forgot about that," his lover--Kol thought the traditional term was more refined--confessed.

"I'm that distracting?" Kol teased him.

"I was caught up thinking about your inability to speak modern English," Jeremy quipped, and the warlock didn't even bother to feign offense, instead kissing his lover again. "Why do you keep doing that?" Jeremy asked as Kol pulled away. "It's not like you can feel it."

"You look beautifully flustered after I kiss you," the ghost replied. "Plus, you enjoy it." He didn't miss the way his human blushed, as if embarrassed. "What is it?" he asked softly.

"You're the first person to go out of your way to do something for me. You don't really get anything from it, but you do it anyway because I do," Jeremy explained.

Kol brushed his fingers over his lover's cheekbones. "You deserve it," he breathed, saddened that this wasn't something the other boy already knew. "Now you should get some sleep; we all have a big day tomorrow," he said, leaving to take a shower.

Less than an hour later, they fell asleep exactly as they had the night before, intertwined with one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wasn't going to make this one sappy, but I really need to stop saying that to myself. I'm happy with how this chapter turned out, and I hope you guys are too! We're getting closer to Kol's resurrection and Klaus's breaking his curse, so I'm super excited to write these next few chapters. Elijah will come back again, I just wanted to focus on Jeremy and Kol's relationship for a bit.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's read my story and left kudos! You all are amazing.
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	8. What We Deserve

When the sun began to rise, Kol knew it was time to get out of bed. The magical elixir wasn't going to brew itself, so begrudgingly, he untangled himself from Jeremy and made his way downstairs as quietly as he could. He saw Elena already awake when he reached the foyer.

"Good morning, Elena," he murmured, careful not to make much noise and awaken the house's vampire inhabitants.

"Hey, Kol," she greeted him, smiling genuinely despite what they all knew would come with the evening. "Thank you, for everything you've done."

The warlock shook his head, "There's no need."

"You brought Bonnie back from the dead, and you're about to make an elixir to save my life," she protested.

"Bonnie died because I was careless, and we don't know if the elixir will work."

Sensing she wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise, Elena tried a different approach, "Can I watch you brew the potion?"

Kol nodded, "I trust you all kept the herbs from Bonnie's resurrection?"

"They're in the kitchen," the doppelganger replied, trailing the ghost as he made his way to retrieve them. "You seem to know a lot about magic," she prompted, trying to start conversation.

The warlock grinned, "In life, I was a bit of a prodigy, and I've spent most of my death studying magic around the world. Over time, I've learned that very little is truly forbidden."

"Is this considered forbidden magic?" Elena asked.

"Yes. Many covens consider matters of life and death to be beyond the control of mortals," he explained. "Obviously, I don't share such reservations; necromancy should be neither shunned nor abused." Kol had been grinding the herbs into a powder as he spoke. As he finished, he added them to a pot, which was then filled with water and heated.

"It seems so simple," the doppelganger mused, watching him work.

He nodded, muttering a soft incantation over the boiling liquid. Satisfied, he brought it to a simmer and moved the pot so it was under direct sunlight then began another chant, so quiet Elena couldn't hear. "It's finished," he declared, surprising her.

"That's really it?" the doppelganger inquired, incredulous.

"The most potent spells are often the simplest," Kol intoned. "I learned that from my mother, the Original Witch." He poured the concoction into a glass, setting it on the counter.

"There aren't any ground rocks in that, right?" she asked, only half joking.

The ghost chuckled, shaking his head.

With a nervous smile, Elena took a few sips of the elixir, pleasantly surprised that its taste wasn't abhorrent. "That wasn't as bad as I anticipated, but I don't feel different," she conceded.

"We have no way of knowing for sure what it will do until you die with it in your system," Kol confessed. "If today might be your last, you should enjoy it; you'll regret it if you don't," he advised, his own expression sad.

"What do you miss most about being alive?" she breathed.

"Everything," he said, voice thick with emotion. "I miss the warmth of the sun, the ache in my muscles whenever I trained with my father, the way I lost feeling in my fingers when I was out hunting in winter, the rush of adrenaline when I did magic," he trailed off, caught up in memory. "Anything is better than the numbness of being dead, of not being able to feel at all."

"I thought about our deal last night, and I want you to have this," Elena said, pulling a blood bag from her jacket pocket. "Stefan helped me fill it," she explained.

"Why are you giving me this now?" Kol asked.

"You and Jeremy have grown close in the past few days. If the elixir doesn't work, I want you to be able to resurrect yourself regardless; just take care of him for me," she responded. "I know you protected him from Klaus on the night of the dance," she asserted, seeing him about to protest. "You deserve this, so please take it."

"Tᚺᚨᚾᚲ ᛃᛟᚢ, tᚨᛏᛁᚨ," the warlock breathed. At Elena's look of confusion, he realized what he'd said. "It's Elder Futhark, 'Thank you, Tatia.' She was the first doppelganger, a girl from the village I used to live in, and she said something similar once, a long time ago," he explained. "I once had a vision that I was running through a forest, trying to reach a set of golden gates. I ran for miles, never tiring, yet never got any closer. I took it to mean that I would be kept from Valhalla--where dead warriors are taken--and at the time, I thought it meant I would die a coward's death, but Tatia told me that we are fated to receive what the gods know we deserve. I only realized what it meant after I died."

"You think this is fate?" Elena inquired.

"To an extent, I foresaw this when I was alive," he shrugged. "Is that not fate?" Without waiting for a response, he took his leave, only turning back to remind her, "Make the most of today!"

Kol jogged up the stairs, intent on spending the rest of the day with Jeremy, before he was stopped by Elijah. "Brother, I think we ought to talk," the Original said, leaving no room for argument.

With a sigh, the warlock complied, allowing his brother to lead him to a spare bedroom, where they might have a semblance of privacy.

"Kol, I think you should consider becoming a vampire, after you have a true form," Elijah said, direct as usual.

"No," the ghost replied, adamant in his answer. "I can't be a witch and a vampire, and I won't give up my magic, 'Lijah."

"Even if it means you'll die within a matter of decades?"

"There are ways to slow aging; I'll probably live twice as long as an ordinary human," Kol corrected, smiling slightly.

The Original shook his head, eyes sad, "You'll still die, Kol."

"I'd rather have a few decades of happiness than none at all," the warlock confessed. "Besides, I think Jeremy would get tired of me after a lifetime or two."

"I've seen the way he looks at you, brother," Elijah assured him. "I doubt it. Now, you've spent enough time with your immortal brother; go enjoy the day with the human whose company you so enjoy."

"I would, but I have a resurrection to do," Kol smirked, watching his brother's eyes widen in surprise. "I'll see you on the other side, 'Lijah."

"I'm proud of you," he heard Elijah's voice follow him as he left, making his way to the sitting room, where he had last seen his remains. The warlock doubted anyone would have touched them, especially Damon, who had seemed repulsed at their mere appearance.

Having taken what he needed from the kitchen already, Kol set about restoring his body, which was the easiest part of the ritual. He extended both hands and began chanting softly, feeling the energy as it flowed into his true body, regenerating him from ash and bone. In a matter of minutes, he felt the drain on his strength decrease to a slow trickle of power, then halt altogether; it was done.

Kol opened his eyes tentatively, though whether he was afraid of the spell's success or failure was unclear even to him. When he finally saw his true body again, exactly as he'd looked when he died, he was sobbing, so overcome with a mixture of excitement and fear that it was all he could do to steady his hands as he ground the herbs, mixing them with doppelganger blood.

Opting not to wake up coated in blood, he poured the mixture on the floor--making a mental note to apologize to Damon for the mess--and used his magic to draw it in a circle with himself at the center. Closing his eyes, he began to chant, letting the syllables dance off the tip of his tongue. He relished the steady flow of magic as he felt his ghost form fading, his soul starting to return to his body. He wasn't sure when it occurred, when his voice only existed for him and nature itself, but he was made aware of his success when he felt his power settle, like calm waves after a heavy storm. Instead of the dull awareness of energy he had as a ghost, he was able to feel the warmth of his magic as it hummed through his veins.

Eyes fluttering open, he took in the room with his own eyes for the first time. Sitting up, he donned the clothes he had been wearing before, albeit as a spirit, and ran a hand through his hair idly, startling slightly when he remembered that his hair was longer in this body--in his body. It seemed finding a mirror would have to be his new priority. Darting up the stairs, he slipped into the hall bathroom, taking in his appearance.

He looked nearly the same as he had that morning, though he knew Jeremy would notice, would realize he had already gone through with the resurrection. His brown hair fell to his shoulders now, and he wondered briefly if his lover would mind it before realizing it was a foolish concern. It was more likely that Jeremy would just be glad to have him around, which was an entirely new concept to the--now living--warlock. Grinning widely, he took a deep breath, finding comfort in the feeling of having air in his lungs, before slipping back to Jeremy's bedroom in the boarding house, leaning against the door casually as the human started to wake up.

At first, Jeremy looked at him with a puzzled expression, noticing that his hair was different, then Kol watched with satisfaction as his lover's expression morphed into realization, shock, and joy within the span of a few seconds.

"Good morning, darling," the warlock said, as if nothing had changed.

In lieu of a response, Jeremy crossed the room and pulled the warlock into a kiss. Kol practically melted into it, thrilled at being able to feel Jeremy, the other boy pressed against him, for the first time. It was intoxicating, and when they finally broke apart for air, Kol was grinning wildly.

"I love being alive," he breathed, still panting, as he gave Jeremy another, chaste, kiss before pulling away again. "As much as I'd love to do this all day, I need a haircut, and I'm starving."

"Let's go then," Jeremy said, ready to drag Kol through the house before he blushed, realizing he was still in pajamas.

"Although I think you always look gorgeous, you might want to put on some real clothes," Kol quipped, and he thought he'd never forget how Jeremy rolled his eyes good-naturedly and complied, chatting about all the ways they could spend their day now that the warlock was finally alive.


	9. One More Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets sad ...

True to his word, the first thing Kol did was get a haircut. With that out of the way, he found himself unsure of what exactly to do; for the first time in centuries, he had no clear goal, and it was both freeing and terrifying, especially now that his time was limited.

He also couldn't tell Jeremy the real reason he had insisted on an outing. He couldn't bear to stay at the boarding house, knowing those very people--even Elijah--would be killing Nik come nightfall. Of everyone, Kol knew he probably had the most reason to hate his brother. Nik had ruined nine hundred years of his afterlife, but the warlock still had a place in his heart for him, which was why he was grateful not to be directly involved in the plan.

"Kol, are you alright?" the human asked, noting the warlock's sad expression.

"No matter what he's done, Klaus is still my older brother," Kol replied, wistful. "When we were children, we used to practice our swordsmanship together, much to mother's chagrin; she was worried we'd stab each other," he chuckled. "I suppose that's a bit ironic, considering our plan for the evening, but we shouldn't dwell on it. This is a beautiful day, and I want us to enjoy it together."

It was already well into the afternoon, but Kol supposed it was the sentiment of spending a day with his lover that mattered. Jeremy seemed to agree, because he didn't comment on it and instead made a suggestion, "Why don't we go shopping? We can get you a new wardrobe for a new life."

"I like the sound of that," the warlock replied, taking Jeremy's hand and starting to lead him to the mall.

They hadn't made it a block when Kol felt it, the sudden wave of dizziness that always preceded a vision. Coming to an abrupt stop, it was all he could do to lean most of his weigh on Jeremy before he felt his body go limp, his vision going dark before he saw Klaus shoving a hand through his chest. Then, as quickly as they left, his senses returned to normal; he glanced at his surroundings to see that Jeremy was holding him up against a store window, worry gracing his features.

"The plan won't work," Kol breathed, so disoriented he could only say what first came to mind.

"Of course it will," his lover assured him. "You don't have to worry about Klaus."

Blinking, the warlock felt a tear start to run down his cheek. "I wish that were true, but he's going to live, and then he's going to kill me," he admitted, leaning into Jeremy when the other boy brushed the tear away. "I saw it Jeremy, just now. He shoves his hand through my chest," Kol said, trying to convey his honesty.

"You don't know that; whatever you saw, it wasn't real," the human insisted, but the warlock only shook his head sadly.

"Over a thousand years ago, I foresaw that I would be kept from Valhalla, and it came true when I defied death, becoming a ghost instead. I'm a völva, darling. A seer. The things I see are fate; they always come true," Kol confessed.

"They don't have to. We can change your fate," Jeremy insisted, but Kol only smiled softly, shaking his head.

"My vision is going to prove true soon; I can feel it, and I don't want to waste the end of my life trying to find a loophole," the warlock said. "Just let me live for one more day."

His lover nodded, and Kol pulled him into an embrace. The two spent the day wandering through stores, trying on clothes and enjoying one another's company until the sun began its descent. Despite knowing his time was coming to an end, the warlock couldn't help from feeling happier than he had in centuries as he and Jeremy walked through Mystic Falls, watching the sky as it shifted from blue to gold.

"Darling, I want you to promise me something," Kol started, watching his lover's gaze sadden, as if he knew what the warlock was about to ask of him. "Promise that you'll move on after I die," he finished, more a plea than a command.

"I can't promise that, but I can promise to try," Jeremy answered, and truly, that was all the other boy could ask for. "Will you tell me a story?" the human asked, taking the warlock's hand in his own.

"What do you want to know?"

"What's your happiest memory?" his lover asked, wrapping his arm around Kol.

The warlock smiled, leaning into the embrace. "Spending the day with someone I care for," he replied, looking at Jeremy as he answered. "I've never been happier than I felt today."

"There has to be something else, something from your childhood at least that made you happy," Jeremy insisted, incredulous.

"My childhood wasn't a happy one," the warlock replied. "When I died, I was terrified I'd never find happiness in the afterlife, because I never had lasting joy in life. Now, I can die in peace."

"Is it tonight?"

"I think so. I don't know how, but I can feel it, as if my body is aflame and I know water is coming," Kol breathed. "I think you ought to head back to the boarding house; wait for your sister. I don't want you to see me die."

"I don't want to leave you alone," the other boy protested, eyes brimming with tears.

"I don't think I can bear to have you watch my end, so please, let me face Klaus alone. I wish I had gotten the chance to spend more time with you, to fall in love with you properly, but I want you to know it was all worth it. I've been on this earth for over a thousand years, and I would relive it all for another moment together. I hate to ask anything of you, but please tell Elijah that I love him; tell him that it's not his fault. It's my fate," the warlock said, his lover only nodding.

Once again, he wrapped his arms around his lover and kissed him, savoring the dizzying sensation, as if Jeremy himself were a fine wine that Kol was lucky enough to get a taste of. Then, with one more embrace, the warlock pulled away, walking through the streets as the moon stared back at him, high in the sky. He walked leisurely, enjoying the bite of the fall air in his lungs, reminding him he was still alive, if only for the present moment.

He wished he was surprised when that very air was knocked out of him as Klaus shoved a hand through his chest, pinning him against a wall. Kol cried out, knowing it was pointless but unable to stifle the noise as pain surged through him.

"Elijah and the doppelganger's friends tried to kill me tonight, and our dearest brother mentioned your name," the newly-freed hybrid snarled. "He was upset for the lie I told our family, for my casting you away all those years ago, and I knew you had a hand in their scheme."

"I don't regret it, but I am sorry, Nik. You're my brother," Kol said, smiling softly, ready to accept his fate. "Go on, kill me. It's alright, brother. I forgive you."

He closed his eyes, ready for his end, when Nik pulled his hand away. "Of course I'm not going to kill you. You're my brother, my family," the hybrid sighed, and Kol's eyes flew open in surprise. He hadn't thought it possible, but he could have misinterpreted his vision. It had, in a way, proven true, after all. Nik had shoved a hand through his chest, poised to kill him, but it seemed his older brother, who was once forgiving and kind, wasn't truly lost. Biting into his arm, Nik offered him his blood, "Drink, brother. This is punishment enough for your transgression."

The warlock complied, grateful for the blood's healing properties as he felt the wound in his chest start to knit itself back together. Then, without warning, Nik sped behind him, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him against his chest.

"Enjoy your punishment, brother," the hybrid growled, and the younger Mikaelson's eyes widened in understanding, his mind racing to stop the inevitable, but Nik was too fast. His brother snapped his neck, letting his body drop to the ground.

Satisfied, Klaus took his brother's body into his arms, making his way to the Salvatore house. He truly hadn't wanted to end his brother's life, but he couldn't have a Mikaelson witch free to plot against him. He couldn't trust that Kol's forgiveness would stay his hand, not after his lie cost the former warlock centuries of his afterlife. With Elena dead, the hybrid was free to storm inside the house, seeing the Gilbert boy whom Kol had taken an interest in there, along with the Bennett witch and the Salvatore brothers gathered in the sitting room.

He tossed Kol's body into the room unceremoniously, watching in amusement as his brother's human lover scrambled to him, searching for a pulse and starting to cry when he found none.

"How could you kill your own brother?" the human asked, voice shaking.

"Don't be so upset," Klaus chided him, smirking. "He'll wake up soon enough, though I can't ensure he won't want to eat you when he does."

"I don't understand," the younger--and now only--Gilbert ground out, but the hybrid only smiled in response.

"I'm not a monster. I killed him, yes, but only after feeding him my blood. He'll wake up in transition, so I would advise you stay away until he learns to keep his hunger under control," he drawled, not waiting for a response before he left, heading for the forest to free his wolf for the first time in a thousand years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me so far. I'm proud to say we made it. The End!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Welcome to the end of the first arc. I'm sorry I had to do this to Kol, but the inspiration wouldn't leave me. This one is a bit short since I'm updating it pretty quickly, but I hope you're enjoying the posting schedule, which is really just my uploading whenever I get the urge.
> 
> I couldn't resist drawing from Norse religion and lore, so I made Kol a völva. They're Norse seers, who generally possess other magical abilities, but I am by no means an expert in these things, and I'm also trying to blend it with TVD/TO supernatural lore without upsetting the canon rules/laws of magic too much, so I apologize for any inaccuracies in that regard, intended or otherwise.
> 
> The plot isn't set in stone until I upload the chapter, but I didn't want to end Kol's story just yet, so this felt like the right way to continue it. I haven't decided how closely I want to follow canon moving forward, so we shall see in the coming chapters. As always, be sure to leave any thoughts you had in the comments and leave kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	10. Everything We Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicide attempt

Kol's body was uncharacteristically cold, and Jeremy hated it. His boyfriend felt dead, which the human supposed was true for the moment, but he knew better. In a matter of hours, both his sister and his warlock--his vampire now, he corrected himself--would wake up. Well, that was what he hoped for. There was no way to know if Kol's elixir was going to work, and there was no way to know if Klaus had been telling the truth, so the only thing he could do was wait.

"Hey, Jeremy," Bonnie interrupted his thoughts, providing a welcome distraction.

"Hey, Bonnie," he replied shakily, trying not to let his worry show.

She saw right through him, insightful as always. "I have a feeling they're both going to be alright. Kol is more knowledgeable about magic than anyone else I've met, which isn't saying much considering I haven't met many other witches, but if he were here, I'm sure he'd say it's the sentiment that counts," she reassured him, and Jeremy actually laughed at that. In only a few days, Kol had managed to endear himself to all of them, so much so that they could postulate what he'd say.

"You're right. I'm sure the elixir will work; Elena's going to wake up," the human said, more to himself than anything.

As if on cue, Stefan came into the room. He and Damon had retreated upstairs to be with Elena after Klaus left, so Jeremy glanced around the room in a panic, as if worried the Original Hybrid would burst in through a window. To his relief, the younger Salvatore was smiling.

"Elena's awake," he said, and before the vampire could get another word out, Jeremy was racing up the stairs, only stopping when he saw his sister, looking disoriented but otherwise unharmed.

"How did it go?" she asked, looking up at him hopefully.

"Elijah spared Klaus," her brother replied, unable to meet her gaze. "Klaus broke his curse, and he turned Kol," he continued, starting to cry. He couldn't bring himself to care; Kol was in transition, and he had lost his magic. The human knew his boyfriend would be devastated.

"I'm sorry, Jer," Elena murmured, getting out of bed to wrap him in a hug.

"I'll be alright, Lena. Kol's the one who has a right to be upset," Jeremy protested, and the doppelganger knew better than to argue with him, letting him lean into her instead.

It was the first time the Gilbert siblings had consoled one another since they started living with their Aunt Jenna, and Jeremy couldn't help but feel sad for Kol, who had lost his own siblings for centuries. At least now, if he completed his transition, he would have Elijah, if Klaus didn't get to the elder Original first.

"Where is it?" a voice echoed through the house, jolting Jeremy back to the present.

"Kol," the human put a name to the voice, reluctantly pulling away from his sister in favor of finding his boyfriend.

As suspected, the former warlock was in the living room, glaring at both Stefan and Damon.

"Where is my magic?!" Kol screamed. "What did the two of you do to me?!"

"Calm down. We haven't done anything," Damon snapped, and Stefan shot him a glare. The elder Salvatore's words didn't have the desired effect.

"Kol, please," Jeremy pleaded, making eye contact with Kol for the first time since he woke up. "You're in transition. How much do you remember?"

"No. That's not possible," his boyfriend choked out. "I'm a warlock, not a-- I'm not a vampire. I won't be a vampire."

"What do you remember?" the human tried again.

"Klaus had his hand in my chest," Kol stammered. "He was going to kill me-- I thought he was about to tear my heart out, but he didn't. He said he wasn't going to kill me, and he fed me his blood. I thought-- I thought that he'd spare me, because I'm his brother, but he-- After he healed me, he snapped my neck. I couldn't do anything; I wasn't fast enough," he trailed off, descending into ragged sobs as he remembered. "My magic isn't going to come back. Once the transition starts, there's nothing that can be done," he whispered through tears, and Jeremy had to hold back tears of his own as he pulled Kol into his arms, letting his boyfriend cry into his shoulder.

"Where's Elijah?" he asked, voice shaky, as if he were a child asking for a parent's comfort.

"He's with Klaus," Jeremy replied, his own heart aching when he heard Kol's response, a soft 'oh' that didn't convey much surprise. He was accustomed to his family members choosing each other over him, the human remembered. "Kol, I'm so sorry that I have to bring it up at all, but I have to ask. When are you going to complete the transition?"

"I feel so cold," his boyfriend murmured, ignoring the question. "I feel cold and empty, and when I woke up, I wanted it to end."

"Kol--"

"You make me feel warm, like magic used to," Kol cut him off, still clutching onto him like a lifeline. "Today, you made me so happy. I was ready to die, and now that I have a chance to take more time with you," he trailed off. "I want to stay here, but I don't know who I am without magic."

The words were quiet, divulged as if they were his darkest confession, and Jeremy supposed they might have been. "No matter what you are--warlock or vampire--you're Kol Mikaelson, my Kol," the human reasoned, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes, the warm brown depths holding lifetimes of experiences, of pain and memories. "I want you to stay," he breathed, pouring his soul into those five words, as if they were a prayer. "Stay," he begged again, the same thing Elijah had asked a mere couple of days before.

But Kol shook his head sadly, and Jeremy's heart broke. "Magic is a part of me, darling," the former warlock explained. "It's so much more than a limb or a sense; it's the deepest part of my soul. I can't live without it."

"Then you'll die," the human stressed, trying to make his boyfriend understand. He had to become a vampire, or he would die, and they would lose each other.

"I know," Kol breathed. "You don't deserve this, and I'm sorry you have to go through it, but I can't complete the transition."

This time, it was Jeremy who found himself crying into his companion's arms, and the former warlock let him, looking up to observe that the room had cleared. He hadn't noticed earlier, but he was grateful for the privacy.

Looking back, the younger of the two thought it was a cruel twist of fate that Kol's sword, which he had retrieved from his burial site, had been left propped against the coffee table. The unsheathed blade shined in the pale morning light, which had only begun to stream into the room, the sun having just arrived in the sky. The human wasn't sure what exactly drove him, whether it was fear of losing Kol or determination to save him, but before Jeremy could think better of it, he had reached for the sword, drawing its blade along the inside of his forearm and shoving it against Kol's lips, moving him away from the sunlight in the process.

It was a testament to the power of the Original Witch that the bloodlust that came along with vampirism was so strong Kol couldn't resist it, not combined with his initial surprise. By the time the former warlock had regained his bearings, shoving Jeremy away, his eyes were dark, black veins gaining prominence across his cheeks. He had drank enough blood to complete the transition. His eyes widened as his face returned to normal, the fangs he had gained disappearing from sight, and he brought a hand to his mouth, as if in disbelief that he had been forced to drink blood. Perhaps he still was.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you die," Jeremy tried to justify his actions, but even he couldn't be proud of what he'd done, not as his boyfriend cried, glaring at him through tears.

"It wasn't your decision to make," the newly-turned vampire sobbed. "I suppose it's rather poetic that my brother killed me, and my lover turned me into this abomination."

"Kol, please," the human pleaded, but Kol turned away, wiping away tears, though Jeremy still saw them, resenting his own complicity in his boyfriend's despair.

"It was my mother who planned to make me a vampire to begin with, and it was my father who ran me through with a sword. Now you and Klaus have gone and taken another choice from me, but I won't live by it," he breathed, so quietly Jeremy barely heard him. "I won't live like this."

Before the human could stop him, Kol used his newfound speed to burst into the street, and it took Jeremy a few seconds too long to remember that Kol was a vampire. He didn't have a daylight ring.

"KOL!" the human screamed, running outside. Stefan was beside him in seconds, holding the human back from Kol's burning body, though it didn't do much to protect him. He glimpsed some patches of the vampire's skin through the fire, though it could hardly be called skin, having been nearly seared from the bone. The acrid smell of burning flesh filled the air. "You have to let me go, Stefan," Jeremy yelled. "This is my fault!"

"You didn't kill him," the younger Salvatore tried to soothe him, not loosening his grip.

The human only struggled harder. "I made him drink my blood," he confessed, clawing at Stefan's arm desperately, but the arm restraining didn't relinquish him until the flames died out, and the two of them were left staring at Kol's burnt body.

Finally, Jeremy was released, and he threw himself at Kol's side, tears streaming down his face as he observed the gruesome sight up close. The former warlock's skin was blistered and red in a few places and nearly seared away in others. Bits of bone were visible, and the human fought down the bile that rose in his throat.

"This isn't right," Stefan muttered beside him, and Jeremy hung his head.

"I know. He was meant to live; we were going to have the rest of our lives together," he choked out.

"No," the younger Salvatore shook his head, the younger Gilbert's gaze shooting up to meet his. "I mean that, when a vampire is burned--especially in the sun--the body is reduced to ashes," the vampire elaborated, and Jeremy felt a wave of hope swell inside him. "The only vampires who can remain intact after something like this are," Stefan trailed off, unsure.

"What is it?" the human pressed.

"I think Kol is an Original. Look, he's already starting to heal," Stefan concluded, and Jeremy saw that he was right. It was nearly imperceptible, but the fallen vampire's skin was beginning to look healthier. "I don't know how it's possible, but we should get him inside."

Jeremy nodded wordlessly, taking Kol's body in his arms to bring him back inside. Laying the newly-turned vampire down on the sofa, he let his head fall into his hands. It was own selfishness that had made Kol miserable, that had pushed him to try killing himself. He would have succeeded if he weren't an Original, and Jeremy let his thoughts drift.

He had asked Kol about the vampirism spell once, and his boyfriend had told him that it wasn't truly a spell, but a ritual with multiple parts, similar to the resurrection ritual. The first part was a spell; Jeremy hadn't inquired about the specifics, but he knew it was cast on all of Kol's family by the Original Witch, save for herself. Then, came the consumption of doppelganger blood before death, followed by dying with it in one's system. Finally, was drinking human blood to complete the transition.

When Kol was killed by Klaus, he had already undergone the first part of the ritual, but the only blood he consumed was Klaus's. Then, Jeremy realized. Klaus had drained Elena that evening as part of the process to break his hybrid curse; Klaus had doppelganger blood in his system, and because he fed it to Kol, the former warlock died with doppelganger blood in his system. When Jeremy forced his boyfriend to drink his blood, he hadn't made him an ordinary vampire; he turned him into an Original. Kol, who had hated his own state of being so deeply that he tried burning himself in the sun, couldn't be killed.

If Kol couldn't come to accept being a vampire, Jeremy had condemned the love of his life--for he now realized that Kol was it for him, even though they had only just found each other--to an eternity of suffering. Again, he wept, but this time, the one he wanted to comfort him couldn't, and knowing he was the reason only pained him further. He supposed he deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm extremely satisfied with how this chapter, and its plot, turned out, though the ending was different than I originally intended. I actually reconsidered if making Kol a vampire was the proper choice for a little while, but I had to do it, considering losing his magic and becoming a vampire is such an essential part of his character in the show.
> 
> The part about the vampirism ritual is inaccurate; canonically, the doppelganger blood itself is laced with magic, but I altered it to fit with my AU, so I hope it makes sense.
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you thought of the chapter! 
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	11. Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some talk of self-harm

When Kol opened his eyes, he was shocked to find himself in the living room of the Salvatore house. He was parched, and running his tongue along his lips, his eyes widened as he tasted blood. With a jolt, he sat up, blinking rapidly when he found his vision blur slightly. He squinted in the sunlight, seeing Jeremy curled at the foot of the couch he himself was sprawled on. _Wait, sunlight?_ His thoughts raced, and he glanced down at his right hand, only to have his spirits sink when he caught sight of the lapis sitting on his finger, the dark blue stone set in a gold ring that had once been part of the hilt of his sword.

The blade had been given to him by Mikael, Kol having been the most naturally gifted swordsman of their family, and the ring was a part of a set that had been in his family for generations. His only thought was that Jeremy must have found the ring and recognized the stone; Bonnie would have done the spell to turn it into a daylight ring, like his mother did for his siblings when they first turned. But how was he alive? The question felt natural, though it took him a while to realize why it had sprung to the foreground of his mind.

He recalled how he had become a vampire, being forced to drink Jeremy's blood. Kol had been distraught, and he burned himself in the sunlight without a second thought. He couldn't live without his magic, yet here he sat, completely unharmed. It had taken only a glance at his surroundings to realize that he wasn't on the Other Side, and given the ring he now wore, Kol knew he wasn't remembering a dream or premonition. Somehow, he had survived his own attempt on his life.

It was just his luck that nothing was easy. He had thought sunlight would kill him, being a vampire, but it seemed he couldn't even die properly.

"Kol?" Jeremy asked, starting to stir.

"Why can't I die?" the vampire asked, straining to keep his tone flat. He wanted to tear out the human's heart, yet he was disgusted with himself for it. He craved to taste his lips again, yet he hated Jeremy for what he'd done. Most of all, Kol wanted to cry, to let himself descend into hysterics and relinquish his grasp on his own temperament.

"I thought about it while you were healing, and I think the spell your mother cast on you never went away. When Klaus drained my sister's blood, he had her blood--doppelganger blood--in his bloodstream, and when he fed it to you," the human trailed off, taking a shaky breath. "When you died with doppelganger blood in your system," he tried again, unable to put the truth to words, but Kol understood. He had studied magic for a millennium, after all.

"You turned me into an Original," he said, meeting Jeremy's gaze.

"I'm sorry-- "

"You had no right!" Kol cut him off, bridging the distance between them and pinning the human to the wall.

He could hear Jeremy's rapid heartbeat, and it was intoxicating. Part of him wanted to taste his blood again, and while the day before, he would have balked at the idea, he now had no such reservations. Exposing his fangs, Kol leaned forward, wasting no time in biting into Jeremy's neck, moaning against his skin softly at the taste. As he drank, he heard the human's heartbeat begin to slow, and distantly, he registered arms trying to shove him away, but the Original found he didn't care.

Well, that was how he wanted to feel. In reality, while there was a part of him that relished in the sensation, in the power he had over Jeremy's life, a larger part of him couldn't bear hurting him. Suddenly, he pulled his fangs away, holding the human up gently as he slumped against the wall, unsteady because of the blood loss.

Kol bit into his own arm, letting the human drink some of his blood, and he sighed in relief when the bite mark on the other's neck healed.

"I don't know why I did that," the former warlock confessed, pulling Jeremy close. "I was so angry with you, but I didn't want to kill you," he assured him.

"It's alright; even if you did kill me, I would have deserved it," the human replied. "I made you into a vampire."

"I would never kill you," Kol said, moving back slightly to look Jeremy in the eyes. Tentatively, he brought a hand to the human's cheek, then leaned in to kiss him softly, doing his best to memorize the feeling of having his lover in his arms.

"Darling, please believe that I still care about you, but I can't forgive you," the vampire breathed, eyes filling with tears. "I can't stay here anymore. Elijah has chosen Klaus, and I can't be around you. I can't see you every day and trust that I won't lose control and kill you, and I can't forgive what you've done. Without you or my family, there's nothing here for me, darling," he blinked away tears, offering his lover a sad smile.

Jeremy was crestfallen, obviously doing his best to prevent himself from crying. "I don't want you to leave me," he pleaded, but Kol only shook his head.

"You need to let me go," he insisted, removing himself from the embrace.

"I thought you didn't want to be alone anymore?" the human asked, desperate for the vampire to stay.

"It seems I don't have a choice," came the former warlock's broken reply. "Elijah and I were going to be a family again," he continued. "But it seems that my elder brothers prefer each other's company over mine, and my other two siblings are gone."

Jeremy didn't miss how the Original excluded him from the statement, trying to mask how deeply it stung.

"Good bye, Jeremy," Kol said, the three words conveying a mix of sadness, longing, and fondness.

In a blink, he was gone, and the human bid a soft farewell to the air around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was super short because it was actually meant to be part of the last chapter, but I didn't want the last part to be over 3000 words, so I figured I'd make this part its own chapter.
> 
> Since the focus of this story is on Kol and Jeremy, I won't be going over the entire plot of the show, so anything I don't specify as being AU is canon. For timeline purposes, this chapter ended during the last episode of season 2.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and be sure to leave any feedback you had! I love reading comments.
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	12. We All Have Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: suicidal thoughts

In the seven months since Kol left Mystic Falls, he never stopped wondering about his siblings and Jeremy. The former warlock had made his way to New York, as he had always loved the arts, where he learned to control his thirst. Having watched his siblings learn to master their abilities as vampires, it hadn't taken him long to begin doing the same, though he knew without a doubt that his siblings, having had the better part of a millennium, would have far superior abilities.

Despite exploring his new powers, he still found himself wishing for his magic, if only to feel its warm caress once more. Its absence had grown worse since he left Jeremy behind, and he spent more days hating his own existence than not. 

For better or for worse, he hadn't been able to bring himself to change his phone number, though he always ignored both calls and messages from Jeremy. When his phone rang one morning, a brisk fall day, he was sure it was fate that he chose to answer it, instead of ignoring the call in favor of sipping his mimosa.

"Kol speaking," he answered the phone lazily, reclining on the couch in the luxury apartment he'd compelled for himself.

"Brother," Elijah's voice greeted him, his older brother sounding calm and collected, as always. "It's time for you to come home."

Kol scoffed. "You think I'd come back to Mystic Falls just because you ask? You chose Klaus, 'Lijah. You let him kill me, and then you left me alone, yet you have the audacity to demand my return?"

"What?" the elder Original asked, perplexed. "Niklaus killed you? When?"

"The night he broke his curse, before he went to the woods to change into his wolf for the first time. He tricked me into drinking his blood, then he snapped my neck," the former warlock replied, feeling a rush of emotions as he merely retold the events. "It turns out that mother's spell from when we were human lingered, and Klaus had doppelganger blood in his own bloodstream when he turned me, so when I became a vampire, I became an Original," he explained, voice shaking.

"I'm so sorry, my dear Kol," Elijah soothed, and the younger Original was grateful for the call, for the comfort his elder brother brought, though part of him knew it would never be enough to make up for all they had lost. "Niklaus daggered me in the days that followed the ritual, and I've only just been awakened, but I've found our siblings. Finn and Rebekah are alive, and I'm going to release them. I want you to come back so we can all be together again," he continued, and Kol felt a tear roll down his cheek.

Elijah truly hadn't betrayed him. It was Klaus who kept their elder brother away, who tore apart their family. Elijah still loved him, and Rebekah-- Kol wasn't sure how she would react, but they had been close once, and of all his siblings, she had been the one he missed most intensely. He and Finn had never been so close, but he knew the eldest Original was daggered nine hundred years ago, meaning they had both been lost from their siblings for nine centuries.

"I can get a flight now, 'Lijah. I should be back by evening," Kol replied, and he could almost imagine Elijah's smile.

"I will await your return, Kol," his brother said, his formal tone tinged with joy.

"I will see you tonight, brother," Kol affirmed, ending the call.

True to his word, he bought an airplane ticket online, grateful for the developments in technology that took place over the past few decades. He packed quickly, not giving himself much time to change his mind before he called for a cab to take him to the airport. Going through security passed in a blur, a testament to his excitement to be reunited with his siblings.

It wasn't until the plane landed in Mystic Falls that Kol grew afraid.

He had avoided the town and everything that came with it--Jeremy, his family, his death--for seven months, and returning felt like reliving the painful moments. It was only mid-afternoon, the journey only having taken him a few hours, so he made his way to the Mystic Grill to have a drink, hopefully distracting himself from his issues for a while. One of the perks of being a vampire was the ability to travel light. As a warlock, he had always made sure to tote basic spell ingredients around with him, as well as a few grimoires, though the majority of them were stored in his home in Gabon--a country in Africa--which he had been gifted by a coven long ago for his assistance with a ritual. Now that he no longer practiced magic, he had no need for either, and their absence made his luggage considerably lighter.

Stepping into the restaurant, he was reminded of how the gods seemed to hate him. It was a Thursday afternoon, and Jeremy was working. The human, to his credit, only stiffened slightly when he spotted Kol. The vampire considered leaving, but he knew there weren't any other decent places to get a drink in the town, so he made his way to the counter and took a seat, taking a deep breath. It had calmed him as a ghost, though it was pointless, and he was grateful it had a similar effect on him still.

"What do you want?" Jeremy asked tersely, doing his best to hide his emotions at seeing the former warlock again. The human wasn't expecting the vampire to look normal, as if he were casually coming by the Grill, no pain between them. Kol was dressed in tailored jeans and a plain button-down shirt, but what caught Jeremy's attention was the piercings. The vampire wore plain silver studs in either ear, and the cartilage of his left was adorned by two silver rings. Vampires were preserved in the state they'd died in, and since they had spent Kol's last day as a warlock together, Jeremy deduced he had gotten them when he was alive the first time around.

 _I want my family to accept me back, and for Elijah to be genuine in his attempt to bring our siblings together again. I want you back in my life, for better or for worse._ _I want to be able to take this cursed ring off my finger and die in the sunlight._ There were a few things Kol wanted to say, but he thought better of it. "A glass of whiskey. Neat," he answered instead.

"I'm sixteen; I can't serve you alcohol," the other boy replied.

"Well, I'm immortal; I can't die. I guess neither of us will get what we want," the vampire deadpanned.

"Why are you back, Kol?" Jeremy asked, voice tinged with longing.

"Elijah called this morning," Kol explained. "He was just undaggered; he wants to bring our family together, and he found our other two siblings. Klaus lied about throwing their bodies into the ocean."

The human nodded, already having heard about the other two Originals from the Salvatores. "Does this mean you're happy?" he ventured a guess, only to be met with a cynical chuckle.

"Darling, I came here to get drunk, and since I've gotten here, I've debated taking off this ring and testing sunlight against my immortality twice," the vampire retorted, a tear running down his cheek. "You have no idea how much I want to be with my siblings; I love them, but I--" he cut himself off.

"You hate what you are," the human finished for him, sadness creeping into his voice. His heart broke as his companion nodded, openly crying at this point. He knew, of course, that vampires' emotions were heightened, but to see it for himself-- Kol was coming undone in front of him, any attempt at numbness forsaken. Everyone had a limit, and the Original had obviously met his, having experienced more suffering than even a thousand of years of existence could ever merit. He rested his head in his hands, shoulders visibly shaking. Unable to restrain himself, Jeremy slid over the counter, pulling the vampire into his arms.

While he had expected the Original to relax into the embrace, he was shocked when, as soon as they touched, Kol went limp for a few seconds. When he had regained his bearings, the former warlock pulled away slightly, staring up at Jeremy--who was still standing--with something akin to awe.

"You have the Hunters' Mark," the vampire breathed, smiling softly. "It's rare, but powerful; I always knew you were special."

"How do you know that? I haven't told you, and you shouldn't be able to see it," Jeremy inquired, confused.

Kol's eyes went wide with surprise. "You're right," he mumbled, more to himself than anything. "Jeremy, when I touched you, I had a vision of the Hunters' Mark," he recalled. "I didn't think it was possible, but it seems I'm still a völva. It would make sense, I suppose. Nature allows witches their abilities to keep the balance, so when a witch becomes a vampire, they lose that ability, but Nature doesn't create völva; the gods do, so my sight is unaffected, if not strengthened. Vampires have unique psychic powers, so maybe if--"

The human kissed him, cutting off his rambling, and Kol couldn't stop himself from gasping in surprise, yielding to the sensation. For one precious moment, he only thought of Jeremy, of how it felt to kiss him once again, before reality returned to the forefront of his mind, and he broke the kiss.

Kol couldn't stop the tears that followed, and the human looked disheartened, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just kissed you like that, especially not after everything you've been through."

The vampire shook his head, wiping a tear from his cheek. "I just missed you," he admitted. "I needed to leave to make sure I could control the bloodlust, to keep you safe, but I shouldn't have stayed away." He pulled Jeremy close to him once more, clinging onto the other boy and enjoying his warmth.

"Are you going to stay?" Jeremy whispered, holding onto the former warlock just as much as Kol was embracing him.

"I don't know," the vampire confessed. "I came back because Elijah has a plan; I don't know what will happen yet. I want to stay with you, but Elijah, Rebekah, Finn, and even Niklaus are my family," he murmured.

They were interrupted by Kol's phone, and Jeremy watched as the Original glanced at the screen, deflating immediately. "It's a text from Elijah," he stated, as if that were sufficient explanation. At the human's bewilderment, he elaborated, "If I read this, and Elijah has already awoken our other siblings, there's no going back. I'll have to face them, and if they've changed over the centuries-- If they don't want me, as I always thought they didn't, I don't know if I can bear it."

"You'll be alright, no matter what happens tonight," Jeremy reassured him, pressing a kiss to the vampire's forehead. "Go, and find out what Elijah wants. If you don't, you'll grow to regret it."

Kol pulled away gently, as if afraid to hurt the human, which--the other boy realized--he probably was. "Mon cherie, je te promets que si je pars, je te dirai au revoir," the former warlock breathed, the words rolling off his tongue like poetry.

"What does that mean?" Jeremy asked.

"Now that I've voiced it, it's a promise that I must keep," Kol replied, a reassuring glint of mischief in his eyes, probably because he had expertly avoided answering any part of the question.

Before the human could say anything, either a demand for clarity or a final farewell, the vampire was gone, well on his way to a rendezvous with Elijah.

When Kol arrived at their meeting place, a nondescript home in town that his brother had likely compelled for them, the older Original was waiting for him, dressed in a suit as always.

"It's good to see you, Kol," Elijah said, spotting the other vampire immediately.

Kol nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He doubted he could articulate a full sentence before falling apart again.

"Niklaus has asked me to accompany him for a meeting with the Salvatores tonight. They are to discuss Elena's fate, and during that dinner, when Rebekah and Finn are free, the four of us will confront our brother," the older vampire elaborated, as plainly as if he were reciting directions.

"Then what?" the former warlock asked. "Nik will only be upset, and he will make our lives all the more miserable for it."

"Unless we leave," Elijah corrected, smiling softly. "Tonight, the four of us will leave Mystic Falls, just as we did a thousand years ago, and we will go someplace where our brother will never find us, where we can be a family again, always and forever."

"Can I take him with us?" Kol whispered, the words more a plea than a question.

The older Original knew who his younger brother referred to, and if he was phased by the request, he hid it well. "If he brings you happiness, then yes. The gods know you, of all people, deserve it, brother," Elijah all but apologized. "Our family has brought you nothing but pain for centuries, and you were right, all those months ago. I failed to protect you from it. Please, forgive me, Kol."

The younger Original only nodded, tears making their way down his cheeks as Elijah pulled him into an embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon cherie, je te promets que si je pars, je te dirai au revoir. = Darling, if I leave again, I promise to say goodbye.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Suffice to say this chapter was an emotional roller coaster. I tried to write Kol as complexly as I could, and to stay true to the fact that vampires feel everything more intensely, so I imagine their emotions would be temperamental.
> 
> Hopefully, the French didn't feel too cliché. It's the official language of Gabon, the country I picked as being Kol's home (or at least, where he owns a physical house) because in canon, he mentions meeting witches in Haiti and Africa, hence my choosing a country in Africa. I went back and changed Jeremy's age (from fifteen to sixteen), because I figured that he's one grade lower than Elena, but they're closer to a year a half apart in terms of age (with her turning eighteen at the start of season two) because she's seventeen in season one while he's only fifteen. Given that Elena is a senior and Jeremy is a junior (I think), he should be sixteen currently (this also makes him old enough to work at the Mystic Grill), since this is set in late fall/early winter, a few weeks after Homecoming (which already passed at this point of the show). **TL;DR: Jeremy is now sixteen instead of fifteen, while Elena is eighteen, as she is in canon.**
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, writing comments, leaving kudos, or all of the above! I encourage you to leave comments if you enjoyed or have any feedback, as they are huge motivators to help me write.
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	13. Here I Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: some of the lines at the start of the chapter are from season 3 episode 13, "Bringing Out the Dead," while others are based off of it. I cut some lines, changed some, and added some, so it's a mix.

Kol didn't realize the gravity of the plan until he reached Klaus's mansion. Elijah had thought it best that he avoid their other siblings until their confrontation with Klaus, and the former warlock had agreed, putting off rejection for as long as possible. When the time finally came, Kol was glad he was a vampire, if only so his racing heartbeat wouldn't give him away.

"I've learned not to trust your vulgar promises, Klaus," Elijah drawled, the hybrid's expression turning to one of shock as he saw the two silver daggers lying side by side on a platter. "We're doing this on my terms now."

Steeling himself to face his family, Kol stepped forward, watching Klaus's emotions turn to anger. "Kol," he growled, darting across the room to wrap a hand around the youngest's heart.

"You'll find much has changed since the last time you saw me, brother," the former warlock chuckled. "I think if you pull a bit harder, you'll find that I cannot be killed."

"What is this?" Klaus growled, to which his younger brother only smiled.

"In taking away my magic, you've finally protected me from a death at your hand, Nik," Kol crooned, letting a breathy laugh escape him as the hybrid tore his hand away. "I suppose I should thank you. In a thousand years, I have never separated my value from my power, until now, that is. You have taken everything from me, and now you are powerless to hurt me," he realized, losing his balance for a moment as the importance of it dawned on him.

The former warlock thought of the rush magic had once given him, of how empty he had felt in its absence, and for the first time since he became a vampire, he didn't feel it at all. He had filled Klaus with rage, yet he was untouchable, and Jeremy, who was strong in his own right, would be waiting to hear from him. There was a whisper in the back of his mind that told him he would never be as strong as Klaus, who drew on power from both his vampire and his werewolf sides, and that Kol would be cast away again by his family, given time, but a louder one forced him to remember Jeremy, who had welcomed him back with open arms and asked him to stay, despite the torrent of emotions and thoughts that resided beneath his skin. The human hadn't cared, hadn't even asked him to explain, and for the first time, Kol didn't feel alone.

"Elijah told me you were keeping secrets from us, Niklaus," Finn cut in, moving to stand next to Kol. "I simply never imagined you would lie about our own brother."

"I did it for us," Klaus insisted, taking a step away from the three other Mikaelson brothers.

"You have a horrid definition of helping our family," Rebekah snapped, entering the room from behind the hybrid. He turned to face her, to offer another explanation, but she plunged the silver dagger into his stomach before he could get a word out. "This is for our mother," she whispered, though all of the Originals could hear her, twisting the blade sharply before pulling it away.

"You're free to go," Elijah told the Salvatores, who had been watching the scene play out with fascination. "This is family business."

"You don't understand," Klaus protested as the Salvatores left. "I wanted this to be a home for all of us, a place where we could be a family, so that none of us would be alone again."

"Well, you're correct, Niklaus. None of us will be," Elijah said.

"You're staying here," Kol added. "We're leaving you."

"Then I will hunt you down," the hybrid pledged, words laced with venom.

"Do that, and you'll become what you hate--our father," Rebekah replied, silencing him.

Their middle sibling opened his mouth as if to object, but the sound of the door opening drew their attention to the foyer, where the Original Witch was making her way to her children. She crossed the distance between herself and Klaus slowly, taking in the sight of the Mikaelson siblings. Her gaze lingered on Kol, as if she could tell what had happened to him, before she reverted her focus back to the hybrid, whose gaze was downcast.

"Do you know why I'm here?" their mother asked, forcing Klaus to look at her.

"You're here to kill me," he breathed, a tear running down his cheek.

"Niklaus, you are my son; I'm here to forgive you," she corrected, and Kol watched Klaus's eyes widen in shock, though he said nothing as the Original Witch turned to address all of them. "I want us to be a family again."

The former warlock let out a shuddering sigh. "Mother, I--" he tried, but paused, unsure of what to say.

She wrapped her arms around him instead, and Kol breathed in her scent--wild berries. He remembered how, when he mastered a spell, she would make berry pie to celebrate. It was the only time she showed that she cared for him as a child, and now, he couldn't hold back tears.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to you, my son," she whispered. Pulling away slightly, she addressed all of the Mikaelson siblings, "It's been a long evening; all of you ought to go to bed. There will be plenty of time in the morning."

The sheer domesticity of it brought a soft smile to Kol's lips, and he watched with amusement as the Originals complied. Along with Finn and Rebekah, he made his way upstairs to search for a room to claim as his own in their family's new home. For a few minutes, the only sound he could detect--even with his enhanced vampire hearing--was their footsteps against the wooden floors. Eventually, Finn peeled away to a room at the far end of the main hall, giving the former warlock only a glance before he departed. Left alone with Rebekah, the elder of the two frowned at the dismissal. Admittedly, he and Finn had never been close when they were mortal, but for his older brother to leave without a word to him stung more than he cared to admit.

His sister seemed to notice because she put a hand on his arm, forcing him to stop walking. "Never mind Finn, he's never cared much for any of us," she assured him, giving him a watery smile. "I missed my favorite brother," she admitted, hugging Kol.

"I missed you too, Bekah," he breathed, and she pulled away slightly, grinning.

"Come on, then; you can have the room across from mine," she gushed, pulling him back the way they came. "You'll have to tell me how you managed to become an Original as well," she continued, turning back to smirk at him. "Only you could manage that, Kol."

He shrugged, the edges of his lips pulling into a grin. "As a ghost, I brought myself back to life. Then--on the night he broke his curse--Nik turned me into a vampire, but he still had doppelganger blood in his system, and mother's spell from when we were human was still as potent as it was a thousand years ago. When I died, I became an Original," he explained, as if it were the simplest process.

"I'm glad I won't lose you again," Rebekah confessed with an almost guilty expression. "I can imagine you miss your magic, but at least this way, Nik can't kill you."

"I'm grateful for that too. I don't want to leave our siblings again, especially not you," Kol assured her, and her demeanor brightened.

"Here we are," she declared, pulling him into a spacious bedroom with an ornate wardrobe and bed frame made of birch wood. There was a white chaise covered in light blue throw pillows, which matched the curtains and bedspread. It was well-decorated, thoughtful, and obviously of Rebekah's creation. Plus, there was a walk-in closet, which Kol imagined his sister had scouted out before choosing this room.

"It suits you, Bekah," he told her honestly, and she began dragging him across the hall, to the room she had declared would be his.

Throwing open the doors like every bit the drama queen Kol knew his sister to be, Rebekah grinned, obviously proud of her choice, and her brother had to admit, it was rather fitting. It was obviously one of the house's more spacious bedrooms, with a king-sized bed, the headboard and posts carved from dark ebony, two matching nightstands, and an armoire. At the far left side of the room sat a desk carved from the same wood in front of a plush chair, and on the far right a bathroom that, knowing Rebekah, the former warlock could only assume was outfitted to match the rest of the décor. The comforter and pillows on the bed were a pale shade of yellow, and Kol made a note to fix them when the opportunity first arose, hoping for either a soft grey or cream set to accent the darkness of the wood.

"It looks wonderful, Bekah, although I suppose there's no accounting for taste," he quipped. "Did you have to choose yellow?"

She huffed in annoyance, rolling her eyes, "It's meant to bring warmth and light to the room."

"It's a horrendous color," Kol replied, sighing overdramatically. His sister rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and the elder of the two allowed himself to savor it for a moment, the feeling that they were still ordinary humans--as ordinary as he could have ever been as a warlock.

Then, he felt it--the telltale dizziness that accompanied his more prominent visions. Before he had a chance to take a seat or warn Rebekah, he felt his consciousness fade into darkness. A single drop of blood falling into a glass; a ring of fire; a boar lying down to be slaughtered. As quickly as they flashed through his mind, they were gone. He opened his eyes to his sister looking down at him, eyes filled with worry.

"You still get visions?" she demanded, not even waiting for him to sit up.

"Obviously," he snarked, though there was little bite to the word.

"Kol, if Niklaus finds out, he'll dagger you," Rebekah said. "He will never let go of the fear that, as a vampire, your gift of prophecy will grow stronger."

"I know, Bekah," Kol reassured her, rising from his place on the ground. "Now, go to sleep. I can take care of myself; after all, I'm the elder sibling."

Bekah laughed at that. "You've never acted like it," she rolled her eyes, and the former warlock feigned offence. "Don't look so affronted, brother. I hope you never change," she declared, wrapping her arms around him.

"As you wish, dear sister," he murmured. "Good night, Bekah."

"Good night, Kol," she replied, leaving to her own room across the hall.

Sighing, he draped himself across the desk chair, rubbing his temples. _Another day, another prophecy of death and destruction. Marvelous._ Pulling out his phone, he went to text Jeremy, unsure for a while about what exactly to say. Much had changed in less than an hour, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and deal with it all in the morning, but Jeremy deserved some sort of assurance that Niklaus hadn't found a way to kill him, and that he hadn't left.

'Everything went well, darling. We're all staying,' he finally wrote, chuckling softly at the idea of his siblings sticking around long enough to meet his lover. Rebekah would give him hell for it, Elijah would be proud, and Niklaus would likely try to tear the boy's head off. Kol doubted Finn would care much, but he was glad for that; it meant one fewer sibling to bother either Jeremy or himself. The Original didn't bother waiting for a response before heading to bed. He figured dealing with fiery destruction could wait 'til morning, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a while, but I wanted to figure out the general progression of this arc before I got too far into it. Thanks so much everyone for being patient with the update, and hopefully, the next one will be up soon, though school has been hectic lately, so the next update may be a little later than usual (but not as late as this one was, don't worry).
> 
> What did you think of the prophecy? Do you think you know what's going to happen with it? I'd love to hear your thoughts or feedback in the comments!
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	14. Crescendo and Decrescendo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while! I took a bit of a break from actually writing to work out the final plot details, so the upcoming chapters should be up sooner than this one.

Jeremy didn't quite know what to expect when he woke up in the morning, but a simple message from Kol was not it. 'Everything went well, darling. We're all staying,' it read, and the human supposed that was good news. His boyfriend was alive, and he wouldn't be leaving town. Then again, that meant the rest of the Mikaelsons would be sticking around as well. He didn't mind Elijah, and Rebekah hadn't been too awful to him, but Klaus had murdered Kol. The human knew from experience that the former warlock was capable of protecting himself, but he also knew that the Original Hybrid had a penchant for daggering his siblings. Now that Kol was an Original, Jeremy suspected Klaus would apply a similar line of reasoning to him.

Having opted to stay at the Salvatore house for his own safety after Klaus broke his curse--they hadn't known when the hybrid would return to Mystic Falls--Jeremy was surprised when the doorbell rang, considering the many visitors they had never bothered with such courtesies. Nevertheless, he imagined Elena or one of the Salvatores would answer the door, so he decided to drag himself out of bed to dress for the day instead. Minutes later, he was making his way to the kitchen for breakfast when he ran into Kol, colliding with the vampire, who the human suspected had chosen not to move out of Jeremy's path with the intention of trapping him in a hug. The younger didn't mind, breathing in the former warlock's scent--a mix of frankincense and oranges.

"You're staying for good this time?" Jeremy murmured, the words dancing across the hollow of the vampire's neck.

"I am," Kol replied, holding the other boy to him. "If you'd like, I think you should meet my family as well, a proper introduction this time. I understand that your friends have had quarrels with them, but they won't harm you. I won't let them."

The human nodded in agreement, his nerves mingling with excitement as his boyfriend pulled back, grinning.

"Mother is hosting a ball tonight, to celebrate the reunion of our family. I was hoping you'd attend," he gushed, looking happier than Jeremy had seen him since he returned to Mystic Falls. "Bekah and I can take you shopping today, to have you fitted for a tux, so you won't have to worry about what you'll be wearing."

Jeremy couldn't hold back a grimace at the thought of spending a day with the youngest Original, and Kol's expression immediately fell. "You don't have to go, of course. It was a foolish idea, truly," the vampire backtracked, his words coming out in a rush.

"That's not it. I want to go, Kol," the younger insisted. "It's just that Rebekah hates me."

"Never mind that," Kol brushed his worry away, exuberance returning. "Rebekah is harmless, and I doubt she has anything against you specifically."

Jeremy was tempted to assert that the blond Original was anything but harmless, but he remembered that she was Kol's younger sister. The former warlock likely still saw her as the girl she used to be, so the human acquiesced, "In that case, what are we waiting for?"

"Nothing at all, darling," the vampire declared, taking Jeremy's hand and all but dragging him out the door. Kol paused outside the house, soaking in the warmth of the sun for a moment, before the human found himself being led to a black sports car.

"Did you compel this car from some poor human?" he asked, feigning disappointment.

"Not at all; he was quite wealthy," Kol quipped with a smile, motioning for his boyfriend to get into the car.

"You look happy, brother," Rebekah's voice came from behind them, tinged with amusement. With a start, Jeremy realized she was in the back of the car, applying mascara. "It seems you truly are in love," she teased.

"Bekah! You promised you'd not say such things if I let you come along," Kol chastised her.

She put the mascara brush away to level a glare at her brother. "You promised this wouldn't be like when we were mortal, yet you've once again managed to subject me to a cloying display with another of your lovers."

As Kol started driving, Jeremy couldn't help but think on Rebekah's comment. He had never given it much thought before, but his boyfriend was certainly experienced when it came to relationships. He had been around for over a thousand years, after all, while Jeremy himself had only dated a few girls. He knew he loved Kol, but he doubted the former warlock would reciprocate his feelings. When Rebekah suggested it, he barely seemed annoyed, and he hadn't brought the subject up himself in the time he had spent with Jeremy.

"What are you thinking about, darling?" Kol mused with a soft smile as they pulled into a parking lot outside what looked like a tailor shop. The vampire had mellowed greatly during the drive, his frenetic energy calming into a languid contentedness. Seeming to sense Jeremy's unwillingness to answer, he let himself out of the car, leaning against the door as his companions came to join him.

In the sunlight, Jeremy couldn't help but forget that Kol was dead. His hair was disheveled, with a few strands splaying across his forehead in a manner that was too attractive to be random, and the light caught his jewelry, a silver stud connected to matching cuff by a chain adorning his left ear and a diamond set in what appeared to be white gold on his right. The vampire's eyes were accentuated with eyeliner, their color ranging from a brown so dark it looked black to a warm gold, as it appeared in the daylight. Without giving it much thought, Jeremy pressed their lips together, pinning Kol gently against the side of the car and letting out a sigh of contentment when his boyfriend relaxed against him.

"If the two of you are quite finished, we have an errand to run," Rebekah interjected, and the human pulled away sheepishly. The blond sent him a smirk, and Jeremy turned away, blushing as Kol chuckled.

"She's right, unfortunately," the former warlock conceded. "Seems a tad wasteful to spend so much time on a tux that I won't get to properly appreciate, but mother insisted on formal attire," he continued, and Jeremy felt another blush rise to his cheeks at the implication, though his companions' smiles told him as much.

"What is this place anyway?" the human asked, shifting their focus to the destination.

"It's a tailor shop," Rebekah answered, as if offended he hadn't known, which Jeremy reckoned was fair considering her entire family looked like they could partake in a fashion show.

"There's not enough time to get a new tux custom made for you before tonight, so we decided to just have one adjusted to fit you," Kol explained, though he didn't appear apologetic. "Honestly, the whole affair--having measurements taken and standing for ages as the tailor works--is so dreadful I haven't gone through it in decades. You ought to consider yourself lucky to be spared the entire ordeal."

Jeremy rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's flippancy. "You only say that because you're awfully impatient."

"I prefer to consider it spending my time wisely," Kol countered. "On that note, we should get started; there's a ball to prepare for this evening." With a sweeping bow, he opened the door for both Jeremy and Rebekah, beckoning them both inside the cozy shop.

There was a well-dressed old man behind a wooden counter, polishing a set of cufflinks as they walked in. "Kol Mikaelson!" he exclaimed, smiling widely when he saw them. "It's been a few decades since you've come to see me. I was beginning to worry you'd moved on from my humble shop; my father and grandfather would have been disappointed if that were true."

"I could never part with your family's workmanship, Giulio," the older Original gushed, dragging Jeremy to the counter. "I've brought you a new client, though I'm afraid he'll need a tux by tonight."

"Would you like me to retrieve a moonstone as well?" the old man--Giulio--asked, quirking a brow.

Kol gave a soft hum, tilting his head as if considering the offer, before cracking a grin, laughing. "That won't be needed; as I'm sure you've heard, Niklaus has broken his curse already."

"Indeed," the tailor replied, motioning for Jeremy to follow him into what appeared to be a fitting room, furnished with a leather couch, a full-length mirror, and a wardrobe. Wordlessly, the human complied, leaving the two Mikaelson's in the shop's main room.

"What is your name, young man?" Giulio asked kindly, settling his gaze on Jeremy as soon as they were alone.

"Jeremy Gilbert," he replied, shaking the old man's hand.

"Well, Mr. Gilbert, as luck would have it, you're about the same height as Mr. Mikaelson, though he is a bit leaner," the tailor mused, retrieving a jacket from the wardrobe. "I had a few pieces made for him, before he took another trip overseas; he never got around to collecting them, which is fortunate, as they will likely fit you."

Giulio held out the jacket, slipping it onto Jeremy's shoulders as if it were made for him. It fit surprisingly well, and the younger man couldn't help but imagine what it would look like on Kol; he had only seen his boyfriend in a tux once, but he remembered it as if it were only the day prior.

"The fit is excellent," the tailor commented, looking him over. "Now, do you prefer a single or double-breasted jacket? What style of placket and cuffs?"

Jeremy suddenly wished he had paid more attention to Kol's tux, rather than how stunning the vampire looked in it, because he had no idea what he was meant to say. Fortunately, Kol seemed to have no sense of privacy.

"He'll have a double-breasted jacket with peak lapels, though you don't have to worry about the shirt--he can have one of mine. As for the waistcoat--he will need one, of course--black silk is always a safe choice, to match the jacket. And don't forget the shoes--oxfords no broguing; brogues were horrendous in the 1920's, and they still are today," the former warlock answered for him, rattling off a list of details Jeremy had no hope of comprehending.

Giulio, unperturbed by the interruption, merely nodded, taking the jacket from Jeremy's shoulders and ushering the two of them out of the room. "I'll have the finished garments delivered to your brother's latest mansion, Mr. Mikaelson," he declared, smiling softly. "As always, you have impeccable taste, and it is a pleasure to work with you. Your partner is close enough to your size that I can alter pieces from what was intended to be your collection to fit him."

"Thank you, Giulio," Kol said, sliding a black credit card across the counter that the human wasn't aware he had, though he supposed it was easy enough to open a bank account when you could use compulsion.

"Shall we get going?" he asked the room, addressing both Jeremy and Rebekah, who had been idly looking at her phone.

"I don't even get to see what he looks like in a tux?" the blond Original asked, pouting. "I want to know what you chose for him, brother."

"You'll see tonight," Kol waved away her demand, already making his way back to the car. With a huff, his sister followed, with Jeremy trailing behind them both.

"What do we do now?" he asked as the trio settled into their stolen sports car.

"We could get lunch?" Rebekah offered, checking the time on her phone. "It's an hour past noon."

"The Mystic Grill?" Jeremy offered, knowing full well it was one of the only decent restaurants in town. It seemed his companions had figured this out for themselves, because they nodded, unsurprised at the suggestion.

For a few minutes, they were enveloped in a comfortable silence, and he found that he enjoyed the Originals' company--at least that of Kol and Rebekah. Apparently, the older Original was growing restless, however, because he was thrumming his fingers against the steering wheel as he drove.

"Would you quit that incessant tapping, brother?" Rebekah snapped from behind them, her enhanced hearing likely increasing the scope of her annoyance.

"I'm bored, Bekah," Kol whined, looking back at her.

Rolling her eyes, his sister leaned forward and turned on the car's radio, looking satisfied when a pop song came blaring through the speakers. "Much better," she declared, reclining in her seat.

"I see your taste in modern music is as horrendous as your color preferences," her brother complained, garnering a glare from Rebekah as he moved to change the song.

"Kol, please focus on driving," Jeremy stopped him. "There happens to be one person in this car who can actually die from an accident," he said with a wry smile.

"Rest assured, your safety is my utmost priority," the vampire insisted, feigning indignancy, though he made a point of paying attention to the road anyway.

Satisfied, Jeremy picked a radio station at random, a French pop song starting to play. Poised to change it, the human noticed that Kol perked up, and with a wicked grin, the vampire started singing along to the radio. Jeremy should have expected that his boyfriend--having been around for a thousand years--would be fluent in multiple languages, yet he doubted he could have foreseen that Kol could actually sing. He must have been staring quite obviously, because his thoughts were interrupted by Rebekah's laughter, though she looked happy rather than critical.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't seen anyone look at him like that since," she trailed off, her smile fading. Kol stopped singing when he heard his sister, silencing the music, and Jeremy hated that the former warlock looked immediately dejected. "I shouldn't have mentioned it," the blond Original mumbled, seeing how her brother's features had lost their mirth.

"It's alright, he should know," Kol intoned, voice soft. "A thousand years ago, there was a girl--Thyra. Even when we were young, mother never liked her; Thyra distracted me from practicing magic. She used to braid bluebells into her hair, because she knew they'd bring out her eyes. She put them in mine when she did my braids, and Rebekah would beg me to do her hair the same way when she was small. We were always close in childhood, and when we grew older, I started courting her. I was just shy of seventeen summers when I decided I was going to marry her, and we were set to be wed in the winter of the following year, when we would both be seventeen.

"When she had just seen seventeen winters, she convinced me to teach her to use a blade. I thought she would be safe, but that spring, while I was away hunting, there was an attack by raiders. It wasn't uncommon; there were other villages in the area, though ours was the largest, and they often sent warriors to steal what they could. That day, Thyra tried to fight them off with a knife I had given her, but they ran her through with a sword. When I got back, two days after, father returned the knife to me, and mother had another spell for me to complete. Elijah and Niklaus were busy with Tatia, and Finn didn't bother to console me.

"Rebekah was the only one who cared. I didn't braid my hair for the first few days, because Thyra had done it for years; if we got married, she would have done it until we died. Bekah finally dragged me to her room to braid her hair, then she talked me into doing mine, and we moved forward from there. If not for her, I think I would have let myself die, when mother's vampirism ritual failed the first time. I would have been happy to join Thyra in Valhalla," Kol finished, a few stray tears running down his cheeks. He didn't look at Jeremy--the human doubted the Original could bring himself to--only stared at the road ahead, parking the car at the Mystic Grill. "You should also know that I don't love her like that anymore," the former warlock breathed, barely above a whisper. "I don't think I could, even if I tried. The person I used to be--the boy who snuck away from magic lessons to spend his days with Thyra, to have bluebells braided into his hair--died a long time ago."

Wiping away tears, Kol got out of the car, slamming the door behind him and leaning back against the cool metal. Jeremy and Rebekah followed suit, much as they had hours earlier, but this time, Jeremy simply pulled his boyfriend into a hug, letting the vampire nuzzle into his neck. "You know it doesn't bother me, right?" Jeremy asked. "I don't mind that you had a life before me--before I was even born."

"It doesn't?" he heard the former warlock ask shakily.

"It doesn't," the human confirmed. "Now, what do you say to lunch?"

Kol hummed softly against his skin, presumably in affirmation, so Jeremy pulled back and--intertwining their fingers--led him into the restaurant, Rebekah in tow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me so far! Sorry this one was a lot of filler, but I didn't want to jump straight from the confrontation at the Mikaelson mansion to the ball, and I wanted to add in a few of my headcanons.
> 
> If you didn't know from my name, I'm a girl and know next to nothing about men's fashion, so the whole spiel about the tux was crafted from my internet research. If, like me, you know nothing about men's fashion, just imagine that Jeremy is wearing a nice tux when the scene comes up, haha.
> 
> If the bit about braids seemed weird to you, don't worry! Braids were a significant part of Norse and Danish culture, especially among Vikings (raiders), since they could represent a person's strength as a warrior, social status, or wealth. Braiding another person's hair was seen as an intimate act, and it was usually only done between family members or spouses.
> 
> As always, leave kudos if you enjoyed, and remember to leave a comment if you'd like! I love reading comments, even if I don't reply to all of them!
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	15. Tell Me A Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: homophobia, child abuse (kind of--thank you, Mikael)

When the sun started its descent from the sky, Jeremy found himself at the Mikaelson mansion with Kol and Rebekah. The three of them had returned after lunch, and the human found himself enjoying their company more and more by the minute. At the present, he and the blond Original were perched on the couch of their sitting room, a bowl of popcorn propped between them as Kol played the piano, fingers dancing across the keys.

"Kol, I should have known to follow the music if I wished to find you," Elijah's voice rang out, drawing a chuckle from Kol as he played the final notes of the song, a lighthearted melody. "I would let you keep playing, but mother has asked us all to prepare for this evening," the elder Original continued, smiling softly. "There is a package in our foyer that I assume is for your lover."

Dipping his head to Jeremy and Rebekah in way of acknowledgement, Elijah departed, leaving the three teenagers--Jeremy counted Kol and Rebekah because they had died in their teenage years--in the living room. Rebekah glanced between Jeremy and her brother, opened her mouth as if to say something, then apparently thought better of it, simply exiting the way Elijah had, presumably to prepare for the evening.

Jeremy said nothing, expecting Kol to cut in with a teasing remark or at least begin pulling him away to get dressed, but the vampire was silent, staring down at the piano keys. Tentatively, the human inched closer, slowly moving to sit beside Kol, who remained unresponsive in contrast to the energy that had spilled from him hours earlier. Even if the Original were alive, Jeremy doubted he would have detected him breathing.

"Kol?" he ventured to say something, sighing in relief when the vampire's eyes, now a warm brown, flicked up to meet his for a moment before returning to the piano. Progress. "Are you alright?" Jeremy asked, holding his breath as he fell silent, waiting for the former warlock to snap and hating the part of himself that was afraid.

"I don't know; I wish I did," the vampire whispered, not looking up. "Sometimes, I feel invincible. Being a vampire, it's exhilarating; I love it, having every little good thing multiplied tenfold."

"And other times?" Jeremy prompted, taking Kol's hand to rub his thumb over the vampire's knuckles.

"When I first died, I felt empty. I thought that, if I became a vampire, I would feel like that all the time, but now, I wish I did. At least then, I wouldn't be so confused, happy one moment and numb the next," the older boy confessed. "If I'm not riding an adrenaline high, I'm wishing I were dead. I feel worthless without magic, and I love it. Rather, a part of me does. There are no expectations, no one depending on me; I can simply exist. Some days, though, I just--" he cut himself off. "I don't even know what I want."

"Maybe you just want to feel wanted?" the human offered. "Before, people needed you for your magic, and now that you don't have that, maybe you're just worried they won't want you for anything else." Kol said nothing, merely nodded, still not entirely present. "I meant what I said the day you turned; I won't stop caring about you because you're not a warlock anymore," Jeremy continued, smiling in relief when his boyfriend looked at him for the first time since his exuberance faded.

"There you go again," Kol mused. "Pulling me together when I come undone like this seems to be your specialty."

 _Were things always like this?_ Jeremy almost blurted, the question nearly rolling off of his tongue without a second thought. Catching himself, he felt guilty for merely pondering it.

Something nearly imperceptible shifted in the former warlock's eyes, a light that the human recognized, characteristic of when his boyfriend figured something out.

"You can ask," Kol soothed, smiling softly. "To be honest, I'd rather you say it than not. Everyone wonders; they almost always ask. I'm certain whatever you're thinking is nicer than 'What broke you?' or recommendations for mental institutions."

"Were things always like this?"

The vampire was quiet for a few moments, running a hand through his hair as he thought. "I think so," came his reply. "Do you recall the episodes I used to have, before I became a vampire?" Jeremy nodded. "I've always had those whispers in my head, even when I was mortal. Before I died, I could keep it all inside, but after-- I don't think I was strong enough."

"Kol, you're--"

"The strongest person you know," Kol finished for him, sighing. "You don't have to say that, darling. I know my flaws. I haven't had an episode like that--screaming at the voices in my head--since I became a vampire, not that I think I'm cured of it. Before, I would break down when everything I held inside grew too great to hold back. Now, everything is amplified; I can't control it. Whenever one of those thoughts crosses my mind, I'm consumed by it before it even has a chance to fester."

Jeremy was still processing when the former warlock spoke again. "I suppose now is the part where you say that you'll always care about me, then leave," Kol sighed. He was biting his lower lip to keep his composure, but the human could tell he was on the brink of tears. "Please don't stay to fix me," he begged, taking in the human's conflicted expression and assuming the worst. "If I've learned anything in a thousand years, it's that I can't be fixed. I'd rather you leave and find your own happiness than tear us both apart trying."

"You're not getting rid of me until I get to wear that tux," the human declared, smiling as Kol stared at him, completely bewildered. "Has it ever occurred to you that I want to stay with you, Kol?"

The vampire blinked, then stared, trying to reconcile his expectations with reality. He blinked again, still stunned. Jeremy mentally conceded that, given Kol's past, asking him if he expected the people who cared for him to stay was foolish.

He opted for a different approach. "I'm not your family. I won't cast you aside, and I don't want to fix you, Kol. I love you as you are."

"In that case," his boyfriend chuckled, starting to smile. "I ought to get you that tux, before you change your mind. Nik always said people are attracted to beauty."

Jeremy smiled too at the sudden shift in energy, allowing Kol to pull him upstairs--package in hand--to an elegantly-decorated bedroom. The furniture was made of ebony, which contrasted well with the muted grey tones of the comforter and pillows.

"I did a bit of redecorating this morning, to get rid of the awful yellow Bekah chose as an accent color," Kol chirped as he led the human to a full-length mirror, situated adjacent to an armoire.

Jeremy stood there, satisfied to watch his boyfriend scrutinize dress shirts for a few minutes before selecting two, while he tried to discern what he was meant to be doing. When the vampire turned back to him expectantly, the human winced at his lack of productivity.

"I know I'm immortal, but you're not getting any younger," Kol quipped. "Take off your clothes."

The younger boy was stunned. "I-- What?"

"Oh. Too blunt?" the vampire asked, seeming genuinely curious and correctly assuming that Jeremy's silence was affirmation. "Since you don't know how to put on a tux, I'm helping you. Take off your clothes before we're late. I don't fancy giving Mother a reason to kill me again."

"That makes a lot more sense," Jeremy murmured, starting to comply. "For the record, I've worn a tux before," he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Rentals don't count, darling," the former warlock countered, eyes twinkling with amusement as he motioned for Jeremy to continue undressing. The human did, after weighing the pros and cons of either asking Kol to turn around and getting laughed at against just obeying, seeing as the vampire couldn't help him get dressed without looking at him.

The older boy looked him up and down briefly before using his vampire speed to cross the room and return within a blink, handing Jeremy a pair of tailored pants and a dress shirt, which the human could only guess were Kol's.

"Giulio was right. We're about the same size, so those should fit you," the Original informed him, looking pleased. "I didn't actually have a second plan, so that worked out nicely."

Despite himself and the situation, Jeremy laughed. "And if it hadn't?" he inquired, starting to get dressed.

The former warlock shrugged. "I have three brothers to borrow clothes from. If mine hadn't fit you, I could've just taken a tux from 'Lijah; he has so many I doubt he'd ever notice."

"If that was an option, why did we go to Giulio?"

"My wardrobe is wonderful; 'Lijah's is dreadfully boring," Kol retorted with a smirk. Mostly dressed, Jeremy noticed that his boyfriend had started to change also, the vampire wearing only dress pants at the moment.

As the former warlock turned to retrieve a shirt, the human caught sight of a marking on his back. Intrigued, he moved closer, and Kol stilled, picking up the movement with his enhanced hearing. There were nine symbols inked between his shoulder blades, trailing a line down along his spine, and Jeremy brushed his fingertips against them almost reverently.

"They're runes," Kol said, sensing his boyfriend's curiosity.

"What do they mean?" the younger boy breathed, moving his hand up to touch the first one.

"That one is Dagaz, dawn." Jeremy moved on to the second. "Ansuz, wisdom." The third. "Raido, journey." He touched each one, waiting for the former warlock to give its meaning before he moved on to the next. "Uruz, strength; Algiz, protection; Tiwaz, honor; Hagalaz, destruction; Laguz, chaos."

By the time they had reached the ninth, the vampire was leaning into the human's touch and had gone silent.

"What's this one?" Jeremy murmured, brushing his fingers along the ninth rune.

"You won't like it."

"How bad can it be?" the human asked, wrapping his arms around the older boy instead.

"Peorth, sexuality," the former warlock answered, and the younger boy started blushing profusely. "I did tell you that you wouldn't like it," Kol chuckled, extricating himself gently and putting on a shirt. "I got that tattoo when I was sixteen, so I would never forget myself. The day I had it done was when I accepted that I'm bisexual."

Jeremy's mind reeled, absently letting the Original dress him. Despite his bluntness, his companion always spoke in euphemisms or used archaic expressions, referring to him as his lover and using the word courting instead of dating.

The boy in question must have noticed the human's distraction, because his voice cut through the human's thoughts. "It's one of the only modern terms I cared to learn. I first heard it in the 1960's."

"You didn't have a word for yourself before then?" Jeremy asked, incredulous.

"Not for the first nine hundred and fifty years." Kol confirmed, adjusting the human's tie. "The runes on my back are the story of how I found myself, all those years ago. I was fifteen when I first realized I was attracted to both genders, not that I did much about it for a few months."

"That's dawn?" The vampire nodded. "And wisdom?"

"When I had to face that I couldn't hide part of myself forever," the former warlock murmured. "Over the course of a year--the journey--I started out," he trailed off for a moment, holding out the jacket for Jeremy to put on. "I started out by bedding a lot of people," he finished, blushing. "At first, I thought if I just threw myself into it, I would come to terms with myself eventually, but after a few weeks, Father found me with a boy. He was outraged; nearly killed us both. I had to use magic to stop him, and that was when he sent me into the woods; he said I shouldn't have had to rely on witchcraft to defend myself, but the real reason-- My people thought that for a man to be submissive towards another man was a sign of weakness, and Father valued nothing if not tenacity."

"Strength and protection," Jeremy whispered, pulling his boyfriend closer to run his fingers over the place on his back he knew both runes were.

"I was alone in the wilderness for two weeks, and it took me seven days to see that I deserved more than being forced into rejecting who I was, that I was worth more than that." Kol started on his own tie, having already put on his waistcoat. The younger boy moved his hands lower, above the rune for honor. "Despite everything, when I came home to Father, I couldn't stop hiding it, no matter how much I wanted to. I was terrified, darling. I couldn't even tell my family the truth, and it tore me apart. That was the first time I lost control of my magic, like that day at the Salvatore house."

The human moved his hands to the runes for destruction and chaos, staying silent. He was on edge, waiting for Kol to start to crumble once again, but the vampire remained composed, and a soft smile graced his lips.

"For a while after that--Rebekah claims it was a few months--the days all blurred together, but one night, I finally found myself standing in front of Father. I told him that I would bed whomever I pleased, and that he could live with it or kill me, so he drew his sword. He nearly slashed me across the chest, but I blocked him with my own blade."

"You fought your father?" Jeremy interrupted, making his boyfriend laugh.

"I prefer to think of it as self-defense," the former warlock smirked. "For the record, Father beat the hell out of me. I slashed his leg once, but I think he broke one of my ribs. I was terrified to do any lasting damage, but he obviously didn't have the same reservations. I remember I was lying on the ground, coughing up blood, and he was about to run me through with a sword. I couldn't have done any magic if I tried, but when he was about to bring down his sword, I rolled out of the way and used his momentum to drag him down onto the ground with me. I had the upper hand for all of half a minute before he had a dagger to my throat, and I thought he would kill me, but I still fought him. I nearly stabbed him before he got off of me, telling me that he was proud."

"I don't understand," the human mumbled. "You lost."

"He told me that all of my siblings would have accepted it, but I kept fighting him even when I knew it was over," Kol explained. "He had made me strong, in his own way. We went to get my tattoo the next day."

"Your father, Mikael, was woken up to kill Klaus recently. Klaus killed him first, but I remember thinking that he was horrible, for wanting to kill his own son," Jeremy confessed, stepping back from the Original so his boyfriend could don his jacket, which looked similar to the one the human was wearing. He smiled at that. The former warlock obviously knew what he liked, and the human appreciated how it looked on him.

"There's no denying that my father was a monster," the vampire stated, putting on a pair of engraved silver cufflinks. "He did kill me, after all." He handed Jeremy a pair of silver cufflinks, plain silver studs. "I still love him, though, much the same way I love Nik. They're my family; I don't think I could stop if I tried."

As if on queue, Kol's phone started ringing. Confused, he answered, only to be met with Elena's voice.

"Kol! Stefan and Damon told me you were back in town, and I need you to help me find Jeremy. He disappeared this morning, and your mother invited me to some ball at the mansion tonight. I have to go meet her and see what she wants, but Jeremy--"

"Elena, Jeremy is fine," the Original cut her off as she paused to take a breath. "He should have texted you this morning," he continued, smirking at Jeremy. "Nevertheless, he's quite safe; he spent the day with Rebekah and I. I'll return him to you after Mother's ball, if you don't mind."

"That's not what I expected," the doppelganger replied shakily, and Kol had the decency to feel guilty for his role in her worry. "Can I talk to my brother?"

"Of course," the former warlock chirped, handing the phone to his boyfriend. "Mother will want me to be on time, so I'll be downstairs. Find me when you're finished, darling."

The Original slipped away, making his way through the halls. As he neared the stairs, he spotted Klaus, the hybrid pacing the second floor landing.

"Nik!" Kol greeted him warmly, smiling despite his reservations. Nik had been the one to kill him, after all. To his relief, his elder brother smiled back.

"Do you reckon I could have a word before Mother's ball, Kol?" the hybrid asked.

"Of course, brother," the former warlock smiled, knowing full well he had no choice in the matter. Though they were both Originals, the hybrid was stronger, and the younger Mikaelson knew if he refused, it would only make things worse.

Nik took him by the arm, pulling him into a spare bedroom. "I heard that you're still having visions," the older Mikaelson wasted no time in addressing his motives, and Kol tensed, cursing himself for his lack of restraint when his brother grinned. "If you're wondering whether or not Bekah betrayed your secret, you shouldn't be upset with our sister. I heard it happen that night, as well as your belief that I would harm you if I knew."

"Can you blame me?" Kol ground out. "You killed me for having too much power as a warlock."

"Ah, so I see you're still bitter about that," Klaus chided.

"You tricked me into drinking your blood, then you snapped my neck. I thought that you healed me because I'm your brother."

"I turned you into a vampire to ensure that you wouldn't do something regrettable," came his brother's reply, and the former warlock scoffed. "Everything I do is for our family, which is why I'm sorry," the hybrid finished, pulling a silver dagger from his coat.

As Klaus used his speed to bring the dagger to Kol's chest, forcing him against a wall in the process, the former warlock caught the hybrid's hand, suspending the dagger mere inches from a new home in his heart.

"Please, Nik, don't do this. I can leave; you won't ever see me again. I'll stay away this time!" Kol begged, crying openly. If he was daggered, the chance he'd ever see Jeremy again was almost nonexistent; he would lie in a box for decades or a century before his brother deigned to awaken him again, like Rebekah, Elijah, and Finn had over the course of a millennia.

Klaus looked hesitant for a moment, but it was quickly wiped away, replaced with grim resignation. "You're no ordinary seer, brother. I can't have a völva roaming free to twist my fate against me," he whispered, pushing the dagger forward so that its tip dug into his brother's chest.

"Nik, I love him--the doppelganger's brother. Promise me you won't harm him," the younger Original demanded, desperation lacing his words. "Please, brother."

"Very well, Kol," the hybrid promised, and with a sad smile, Kol let go, letting the dagger pierce his heart. As his younger brother desiccated, the hybrid held him close, inhaling shakily, and when dark veins had fully crept over the former warlock's skin, a single tear rolled down Klaus's cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update was a bit late, but this chapter is extra long! I wrote more than I planned at the start, and I didn't want to split it up, so enjoy this longer update than usual.
> 
> The bit about Norse runes and culture was from some internet research I did, as I enjoy adding Norse culture to the Originals' story since it wasn't done as much as I would've liked in the show. Kol has nine runes on his back because there were nine realms in Norse mythology, and the number nine was also linked to pagan magic. It took him seven days to come to his senses when his father forced him into the wilderness because Icelandic sagas used the number seven to show completeness. It was also part of Norse culture around Kol's time for men who took a submissive role in relationships with other men to be seen as weak and cast out of society, hence Mikael wanting Kol to prove he was strong. Essentially, it was so that his honor couldn't be questioned, because he fought his father. Men who were dominant in relationships with the same sex were a different story, and it was accepted as long as it didn't interfere with their duty to marry.
> 
> As always, leave kudos and/or comments if you enjoyed, as they warm my heart! Thank you so much for reading, and I will see you all in the next update.
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	16. This Swirling Storm Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set in s03 e14, 'Dangerous Liaisons,' but it only vaguely follows the show.
> 
> TW: panic attacks

When Jeremy finished with Elena, his sister only relenting when he reminded her that she would also be attending the Mikaelson ball, he was stunned to find the first floor of the house decorated elegantly, with Klaus's hybrids carrying trays of champagne for all of the guests. Across the room, he spotted Rebekah, the youngest Original wearing an emerald green dress that accentuated the bright blue of her eyes.

Moving to join her at her place by a window, he saw her smile widely when she spotted him, giving him a kiss on the cheek when he reached her. "Jeremy, you look stunning. Is that tux one of Kol's?" He nodded, making her smile brighten. "Where is my brother? Mother won't be pleased that both he and Nik are late."

"He left me to talk with Elena so that he could come downstairs early," the human frowned, starting to worry. "Do you think Klaus did something to him?"

"They probably just got held up. Kol has always been easily distracted, and if they were together, Nik would've been dragged along," Rebekah reasoned, though she looked dubious. "Even if Nik has done something diabolical, worrying won't do us much good. The only thing to do is wait and make a deal with him if need be."

"We need to investigate, Rebekah," Jeremy hissed, careful not to let the other guests overhear. "Klaus kept you and Finn daggered for years; if he's done the same to Kol--"

"If he has, there's nothing for us to do but wait," the vampire cut him off. "The reason your sister and her friends are fools is that they keep trying to defeat my brother. In a thousand years, he has never been beaten. Do you understand, Jeremy? He cannot be killed; he cannot be subdued with the silver daggers; he can barely be reasoned with. If you confront him about Kol, and your lover is daggered, Klaus will likely leave him in a coffin for decades out of pure spite."

His eyes widened in shock as she explained, her words coming out in a rush. She was afraid. "Would your brother do the same to you?" he asked.

"He has. I loved someone once, who Niklaus thought would tear me away from him. My brother daggered me and turned my lover into a vampire; the two of them left me for fifty-two years," the blond breathed, blinking away tears. On a twisted level, the human understood, then, why she was so desperate that he stayed out of the Mikaelson family drama. She loved Kol, but she feared Klaus and his cruelty more, the same way Klaus's fear of Kol's power overshadowed any remaining affection he held for his younger brother.

As if on queue, Rebekah stiffened, turning to find Klaus himself striding into the ballroom. The hybrid surveyed the room, eyes filling with an emotion Jeremy couldn't place when they landed on the human. In a blink, that look was gone, but he knew he hadn't imagined it.

"Jeremy, Rebekah," the hybrid greeted them both in turn, smiling widely, as if he hadn't killed Elena and Kol. "This is Kol's guest, I presume?"

"Indeed," the youngest Original answered. "Now, where is our dear brother?"

Klaus chuckled, "You know him; a distraction likely caused his tardiness." His grin widened, and he looked beyond both of them, appearing pleased. Jeremy whirled around to find Caroline entering the mansion, Elena not far behind with a Salvatore on either arm. "If you'll excuse me, I ought to greet my guests," the older Original said, gracefully crossing the floor to the newest arrivals.

"I'm sorry," Rebekah murmured when her brother was out of earshot.

Jeremy flinched at her words. "You think he daggered Kol?" he asked, feeling tears start to pool in his eyes. If that were the case, Klaus would leave him in a coffin for decades, according to his sister.

She nodded, and the human gasped for air. The ground swallowed him whole, and he was caught by the wall behind them.

"Jeremy, breathe," Rebekah said, holding him upright. "Whatever happens, both you and Kol will be alright. He's my brother, always and forever, and he cares for you; you're practically family, too."

He took a breath, then another. Blinked once; looked up at the blond vampire; took another breath. He was shaking; he could feel it, but he couldn't stop it. He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing as Rebekah hummed what sounded like a lullaby. He was dimly aware of the fact that she was supporting his weight with her enhanced strength, but all he could focus on was Kol. Would the Original be aware of the passing of time while the dagger was in his heart? Would he seek Jeremy out when he woke up? What if Klaus kept him daggered until long after Jeremy died? Then, Rebekah was carding her fingers through his hair, and Jeremy wondered if she did the same to Kol. The thought calmed him slightly; Rebekah had taken care of Kol for years. Inhale. She knew Klaus better than anyone; they could deal with this new predicament together. Exhale. When Jeremy opened his eyes, Rebekah was still above him, a serene smile gracing her lips.

"Do you have panic attacks often?" she asked, releasing his shoulders when he could stand on his own.

"I'm fine," he shook his head. "It's not that bad, compared to what Kol goes through."

The Original's gaze softened, her blue eyes filling with concern. "My brother knows his limits. You need to know yours."

The human sighed. "I've never had a panic attack before," he answered honestly. "I was just terrified. What if I never see him again?"

"You will," Rebekah smiled. "Whenever Kol had an episode, I'd run my fingers through his hair, like I did to you. It always calmed him, though I still don't know why. You and my brother are the same, in some form that the rest of us don't see. You'll meet again one day; that much is inevitable, even if it's after you've lived a long life, decades from now."

"Rebekah, he's the love of my life," Jeremy confessed. "I've known since he became a vampire; I don't want to live my life without him."

"If you go against Nik trying to free him, he'll kill you," she objected, well aware he already knew. She was desperate.

"Then I'll die trying," he snarled, surprising himself with the force of his words.

In a flash, Rebekah pinned him against the wall, forcing him to look at her. Jeremy tried to resist, but she was a vampire, far surpassing him in strength. She deftly undid the first few buttons of his shirt, pulling the protection charm Kol had once given him from around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, but my brother would never forgive me if I let you die for him," she breathed. Then, "Go home, and forget that Kol ever came back to Mystic Falls. Forget that you ever fell in love with him, and forget your reason for coming here tonight. Forget it all until I tell you to remember."

He felt her compulsion wash over him, felt his memories grow hazy, and he hated that he couldn't stop it. Then, blinking a few times, his mind was clear save for a desire to leave. Had he been talking to Rebekah? She took a step back, giving him an opportunity to exit, which he took without a second thought. He slipped through the guests at the mansion, emerging on to the sidewalk breathless. He didn't know why.

The human felt his body walking home, as if an invisible string were pulling him along. Where had he gotten the tux he was wearing? It was far nicer than anything else he owned. Why had he gone to the Mikaelson ball? Surely, they had only wanted Elena. He shook the questions away. If he couldn't recall, it likely wasn't important, after all.

Letting himself into the empty Salvatore house, he made his way to his room quickly, loosening his tie and undoing his cufflinks as he walked. When he reached the door, he started unbuttoning his shirt to realize that the first few buttons were already undone. Had he done that himself, his mind not registering the action, or had someone else done it for him? When he couldn't remember, he continued undressing, eventually stepping into the shower to let the scalding water wash away the torrent of curiosities.

He brushed his fingers across the tattoo on his right arm, the start of a Hunter's Mark. It had appeared when Connor--another Hunter--died, and Jeremy himself was the only one who could see it. He hadn't told Elena, preferring to avoid worrying her, but ever since it had appeared, he felt an itch when he was around vampires, an urge to drive a stake through their hearts. It was the mark; it had to be. Consciously, he knew that vampires weren't evil; Caroline was his friend, as was Kol, and neither of them had chosen what they had become. Nevertheless, the inclination was ever-present, a reminder that he couldn't fully let his guard down around any of them.

He turned off the water, drying himself off absently. Thoughts of Kol felt familiar, as if he were important to Jeremy, though he couldn't fathom why. The former warlock had resurrected Bonnie and Elena, and he had been Jeremy's friend, but the human hadn't seen him in months. Why, then, did the mere thought of him invoke a sense of longing within the potential hunter? As he got dressed, he couldn't help but stare at the bed, as if waiting for a memory to materialize. It was foolish, he knew, but that didn't stop the thought from nagging at him, long after he climbed underneath the covers, chasing him into his dreams.

When he next awoke, the only person he could think of was Kol. The vampire seemed to haunt him, though they had only known each other briefly. It was as if his very being was trying to tell him something his mind had forgotten, yet as much as he focused on the vestiges of memories, they faded as quickly as they came. He glanced at the clock perched on his nightstand, scrambling to get out of bed when he saw that it was already half past ten. By the time wandered downstairs, he found Damon on the phone with Alaric.

"I haven't seen Elena since this morning, Ric," the vampire drawled, sipping a glass of bourbon. "She's having second thoughts about this Original murder scheme, and I need to make sure she isn't going to screw everything up."

There was a pause, and Jeremy assumed Alaric gave an answer before the elder Salvatore spoke again. "You're too busy? Doing what?" he snapped, obviously annoyed at the other man's lack of concern.

With a huff, he hung up, having received an unsatisfactory reply, and noticed the human lingering at the bottom of the stairs.

"What Original murder plan are you talking about?" Jeremy asked, unsurprised at this point that he was left out of the loop.

"Esther plans to 'restore the balance of nature' by eliminating the entire clan of Original vampires. They were all linked together at the party last night, so whatever happens to one of them happens to all of them," Damon explained, a celebratory smirk on his lips. "No offense to your boyfriend, but if this means Klaus will die, the entire family can go."

"My boyfriend?" the human latched onto the phrase, desperate for an answer. Did the vampire mean Kol? It would certainly explain why he couldn't expel the former warlock from his thoughts, but it still left him perplexed as to why he had forgotten.

The Salvatore brother misread his desperation for concern. "I'm grateful for all of Kol's help, but I'd gladly sacrifice him if it means Elena will be safe from Klaus," he declared, glaring at Jeremy. "If you so much as think about interfering, I'll lock you in this house until the spell is over."

"I won't," the human insisted, raising his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just going to see if I can find Alaric at the grill."

Damon nodded, pouring himself another glass of bourbon, and Jeremy slipped out the door. As he walked, he couldn't help but ponder the undone buttons on his shirt from the night before. Had he truly been responsible, the detail merely escaping his memory? It seemed more likely than someone else being the cause. Kol had been gone for months, but had they kept in contact? It would explain Damon's belief that they were dating; the vampire must have jumped to the conclusion. Jeremy would remember if he were seeing someone.

Wouldn't he? He shook the doubt away; if he couldn't trust his own memory, what was left to rely on?

A feeling of unease had him whirling around, eyes darting between buildings, seeking something, though he wasn't sure what. The mark on his right arm began to itch, and the next thing he knew, one of Klaus's hybrids--a blond man with a bulky build--had him pinned to the sidewalk, an arm on his throat. Hands scrambling for purchase, he closed his fingers around a fallen branch. There was another hybrid, a short redhead, a few meters away, watching the fight. She likely didn't think he was a threat, and the idea was infuriating. He was human, not useless; he was tired of being dismissed, of being excluded by the Salvatores and his friends. With a burst of strength he wasn't aware he possessed, he shoved the branch into the hybrid's chest, angling it for the man's heart.

As the man started to desiccate, Jeremy gasped for breath, feeling a rush of adrenaline surge through him, radiating from the mark on his right arm. He had activated his Hunter's Mark when he killed the hybrid; the realization sent his mind reeling, but he had little time to process before he felt a splitting pain in his head. He clutched at his temples, writhing in agony. The other hybrid, seeing his impairment, took advantage of the situation, speeding over to him and maneuvering him into a chokehold with little resistance. Between the lack of oxygen and the pain searing through his mind, he couldn't bring himself to fight as his vision blurred and his world was swallowed in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading yet another chapter! No Kol in this chapter, but don't worry, he'll be making a return soon. Jeremy's memory loss isn't going to be too much of its own subplot, but I thought it was fitting for him to have his choice taken away from him to parallel what happens in canon, as well as to parallel what happens to Kol at the hands of his family.
> 
> Since John Gilbert doesn't come to Mystic Falls and give Jeremy the Gilbert ring in my version, I don't mind having him activate his mark early, seeing as he won't lose the use of the ring as a result. I never liked that, in TVD, he mainly grows stronger to help Elena get the cure, so I was glad to alter that by having him accidentally trigger the mark by killing a hybrid. I hope his memory loss was written alright. I've never written anything like that before, but I also wanted to capture the reality that he wouldn't just accept the weird circumstances with no questions. Also, the lover Rebekah mentions to Jeremy is Marcel Gerard! He's a character from TO that I absolutely love, but he's not important to this story, so don't fret if you've only seen TVD.
> 
> There will be more detail about Esther's plan for the Mikaelsons in the next chapter, which I hope to get written soon! As always, please leave kudos and/or feedback, as they motivate me to write. I do read all of the comments, even if I don't respond to them.
> 
> Until next time,  
> ~Aylin


	17. I Choose You

When Rebekah's quiet day with a cup of coffee and a romance novel was interrupted for a family meeting, she knew something was wrong. She should've known, she conceded, given the fact that her evening was spent worrying about Kol before she finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. She had compelled his lover for his own safety, and she hoped the Gilbert boy would forgive her. The blond considered him family for how close he was to her brother, though she worried it would be unreciprocated, especially after she forced him to forget Kol.

It was a bit over an hour until noon when Elijah came by her room, interrupting her reading with a sharp rap on the door. "Rebekah, you're needed downstairs," he'd informed her briefly, leaving no room for argument in his tone.

Upon entering their sitting room, she found Nik reclining on a sofa while Elijah poured himself a drink. Neither their mother, Finn, or Kol were in sight. "What's going on?" she asked, glancing between the two of them.

"I may have acted a tad impulsively," her hybrid brother began, curling his lip in displeasure.

"He daggered Kol," Elijah intoned. "I would consider that rather impulsive, wouldn't you, brother?"

"Völva are dangerous," Nik chided. "You should have known better than to hide our brother's abilities from me, Bekah." He smirked at her, garnering a glare from his sister. "Don't fret! Per 'Lijah's request, I've undaggered Kol, and he should awaken shortly."

"Indeed. We have much bigger problems than this family squabble, and Kol will be of much use in resolving them," their elder sibling cut in. "I found out from Ms. Gilbert this morning that Mother linked us with a spell last evening. What happens to one happens to all, and she plans to have Finn sacrifice himself in a ritual to end us."

"She wants to kill us?" Rebekah scoffed.

"In a fashion. She intends to reverse the vampirism ritual and place a hex on us that will bring about our deaths," Elijah replied, swirling the bourbon in his glass. He was nervous. "Fortunately, Kol was daggered unexpectedly. Mother is seemingly unaware that he didn't partake in last night's toast, so she likely believes that he is linked to the rest of us."

She felt hope swell up within her chest; her brothers were nothing if not clever. "You have a plan then?" she pressed, smiling softly when Nik and Elijah exchanged a look.

"We're going to have Kol convince Mother to perform the spell on him, instead of Finn. When she exerts the power she's amassed, Niklaus will end her life," Elijah explained. "I've taken Elena to force the Salvatore brothers into assisting us, so the two of them will act as distractions so that Niklaus can kill Mother without her killing him."

"We can't sacrifice our brother!" Rebekah objected, indignant. "Even if I thought this was a good idea, he won't comply. What's to assure him that Nik won't kill him for good once he's mortal?" she inquired, addressing the oldest in the room.

"That's the best part," Nik crooned, rising from his seat to lead his siblings to the room where Rebekah had once kept Damon. Throwing open the doors, she was horrified to find Jeremy chained to the ceiling, unconscious. "Kol doesn't have much of a choice in the matter; if he refuses, we'll kill his lover. As for you, Bekah, it would be in your best interest to keep the details from our youngest brother." The blond Original felt tears welling up in her eyes; she had erased Jeremy's memory of loving Kol to keep him safe, yet it seemed he would be put in danger regardless. Further, how was she to save Kol when faced with two of her brothers? Anything she attempted would be futile; it had been true the night before, and it remained so.

The human started to stir, lifting his head groggily. "How could you?" he moaned, brown eyes fluttering open. "He's your brother," Jeremy trailed off, obviously struggling to focus. "How could you dagger your brother?" he finally got out.

As Nik chuckled, Rebekah was stunned into silence. She had compelled away his memories of Kol since his return to Mystic Falls; she was certain of it. She had stripped him of the necklace Kol enchanted for him, correctly assuming that it was also filled with vervain, and he had left the party in a trance, obviously feeling the effects of her compulsion. How, then, did the boy know Kol had been daggered?

"Speaking of Kol, he ought to be awake by now," Elijah interrupted. "Rebekah, I need you to go to the tunnels we used to play in as children; watch Elena, and ensure she doesn't escape," he addressed his sister. She nodded resolutely before speeding off to fill her role, not bothering to protest. All of their lives were at stake.

The Original brothers crossed the hall, finding Kol awake, sitting upright in his coffin.

Brown eyes flecked with gold darted around the room, settling on the two of them. Kol studied their clothes, his eyes flitting between them and his surroundings. "How many decades?" he asked, shakily. "How long have you kept me daggered here?"

"Kol, you were only daggered last night," Elijah reassured him softly, now having understood the restlessness. The former warlock was assessing how much had changed since he was last awake.

"Prove it," Kol demanded, eyes cold.

"Eat something first, brother. Jeremy is here, but if you see him in your current state, you'll likely drain him," Nik teased with a smirk. He brought a young woman forward, compelled into silence, smiling when dark veins appeared across Kol's cheeks, accompanying his fangs.

In a flash, he had crossed the room, biting into her neck without a second thought. The blood was warm and sweet, like a soft caramel, and Kol hesitantly parted from the girl when he could barely hear her heartbeat. Whilst learning to control the hunger in New York, he had killed many in his bloodlust, and each time, he could only think of how disappointed in him Jeremy would be if he knew. He had nearly killed his lover once, when he first turned, and the thought of killing yet another--for no reason other than to satisfy his thirst--made him sick. Consumed with one burning desire, however, he didn't bother to heal the girl as he might have otherwise.

"Show me that he's alright," the youngest present Mikaelson snapped, tensing when Nik laughed outright.

"No need to be so grave; he's right here," the hybrid said, leading him across the hall.

Jeremy was floating in and out of awareness, and Kol sped to him as soon as he laid eyes on his lover. "You vowed that you wouldn't harm him," he all but accused Klaus.

"I didn't. This was all thanks to my hybrids, one of which he killed. You ought to be grateful he's still in one piece," the blond argued.

"He killed a hybrid?" the former warlock breathed, eyes widening in shock.

"I activated my Hunter's Mark," Jeremy whispered, starting to awaken. "You said I was special before," he trailed off with a grin, blinking a few times as he focused on Kol. "You were right."

The older boy laughed, blinking away tears as he threw his arms around his lover. For a moment, it didn't matter that Klaus and Elijah were behind him. He was undaggered, and Jeremy was alive.

Klaus cleared his throat loudly, interrupting. "As touching as this is, we undaggered you for a reason, Kol," he drawled, sounding anything but apologetic for ruining their moment. "Mother is trying to kill us by reversing our vampirism, allowing our years to age us rapidly and causing our deaths. All of us but you are linked to one another through a spell, and Finn plans to surrender himself to the ritual. We need you to go to Mother and volunteer in his stead; convince her to expend her magic turning you mortal instead. When she has, I'll kill her, with the help of the Salvatores. You'll be perfectly safe, since you've only been an Original for a few months."

"If I refuse?" Kol intoned, though he didn't need a reply. They would kill Jeremy; it was the only reason they would have him chained up in such a manner.

"We'll kill your lover."

"Very well," he nodded. "I'll go along with your plan," Kol sneered, meeting Klaus's gaze. "On the condition that you know this isn't for you. I'll help you to protect Jeremy, but you are no longer my family. For all of your talk about always and forever, I am always left out," he snapped, running a hand through his hair. "I have been cast away, made to feel worthless, killed outright, and daggered by one brother; abandoned and used by another; our sister fears retribution more than she cares for me!" he screamed, seeing Jeremy wince at the volume, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "In a thousand years, none of you have changed; none of you have grown to love me, or to want me. I trapped my soul in this miserable plane of existence because I was terrified of dying, terrified of being unloved all my life. The only thing remotely close to commitment I've ever had is the cruel love of our father; he threw me out into the woods, forced me to fight to survive, and I hated him, but he protected me in the only way he knew how." Klaus flinched at the mention of their father, but Kol wasn't finished.

"It's taken me a millennia, but I've finally realized that you make me pathetic. For centuries, I've followed you from the shadows, waiting for scraps of affection! Every time I look at you, I am reminded that not even my own blood could put me first!" Elijah looked conflicted, but Klaus was merely frozen in place, stunned at Kol's display. "At the first opportunity, I was shoved into a coffin, only allowed to roam free because you needed something! The only person who's ever seen me as more than my power is chained to the ceiling because you consider me an asset to exploit!" Kol was seething, and he was certain that, were he still a warlock, the house would be nothing but rubble at this point.

"I have suffered this family's cruelty for a thousand years!" he roared. "I refuse to come crawling back to your abuse!"

"Kol," Elijah started, only to be cut off harshly.

"Don't," Kol growled. "I waited for a thousand years for one of you to want me, then you finally did. You told me that I was your family, always and forever, yet," he paused, unable to continue as he crumbled to the ground, strings cut. "You picked Niklaus; you always do, and for making me hope this would be any different, you are the most callous of us all. You made a fool of me!"

The room fell silent, save for Kol's shaky breaths, pointless because he was a vampire. Jeremy recognized the practice; Kol did it when he was on the verge of falling apart.

"Unchain me," he murmured, unsure which Mikaelson brother he was addressing. "I can't escape from both of you, and if you want him to be of any use to you before your mother's spell tonight, you'll need me to calm him down," he reasoned, the words bitter. He saw Kol flinch at the mention of his usefulness, as if he were a broken machine that needed to be fixed, and he itched to hold him close and apologize, to assure the vampire that he hadn't meant it. The urge from his Hunter's Mark was nothing in comparison.

Slowly, Klaus moved around Kol to unlock Jeremy's chains. As soon as he was able to, the human was beside Kol, running his fingers through his hair and holding him while he cried. He heard Elijah and Klaus leave the room, though he assumed they were close enough to prevent him from slipping away, not that he could with Kol in his current condition. The Original's eyes were unfocused, and Jeremy knew he wasn't entirely present.

"He's not like them," Kol said, voice breaking the silence. Another few moments passed. "Shut up! He won't use me. He doesn't care," he snapped, and Jeremy knew he was talking to himself, addressing his own insecurities. "I'm more than that," the former warlock insisted, voice small; it contrasted painfully with the rage he'd displayed mere minutes earlier.

"You can talk to me, Kol," Jeremy murmured, hoping his boyfriend would respond to him.

"Will you prefer me when I'm a warlock again? When I can do magic once more?" Kol asked, voice breaking.

The human gave a shaky sigh of relief, glad the vampire was speaking to him yet hating what he asked. "It doesn't matter to me what you are. I love you regardless," he answered, pressing a kiss to Kol's temple.

Jeremy shoved down his own animosity as he remembered what Rebekah had attempted, compelling most of his memories of the former warlock away. When he had killed a hybrid, he had felt his Hunter's Mark activate, followed by a splitting pain in his head as his memories flooded back. It seemed that the Brotherhood of the Five was immune to compulsion, a detail he was grateful for.

The Original was silent for a long time, and as the younger boy ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair, he could almost see the mania abate until Kol appeared fully relaxed, though he doubted that was the case.

"You love me," the former warlock murmured, sitting up to look at Jeremy as if searching his expression for a sign of dishonesty. After a few moments, he smiled--not one of the mania-induced grins that had his pupils blown in elation, but a genuine smile, slow and effortless, that brought light to his gold-flecked irises. "Tomorrow, when all of this is over, let's leave. When I'm a warlock again, I'll be mortal; we can go to school and live ordinary lives, away from my family and yours."

The human was stunned. "You really want to try being normal? Wouldn't you grow bored?"

"Never of you, darling," Kol chuckled. "I love you," he confessed.

The words rolled off his tongue like a wave curling onto itself. They felt beautiful, peaceful, in and of themselves, and he relished the taste. Whoever said love was an all-consuming flame was a liar; it was a slow wave that lapped at your heels until the moment it pulled you under, when you were gone for good, both floating and drowning, living and dying, at once. The person he had been before was dead, but he was spectacularly alive, every inch of his skin tingling.

Leaning forward, he kissed his lover, enjoying Jeremy's soft gasp of surprise. Once the human moved past his initial shock, he pulled the vampire into his lap, glad for the strength that came with the Hunter's Mark. Kol, for his part, offered no resistance, eagerly latching onto Jeremy's neck when the opportunity presented itself, the younger boy not having the presence of mind to feel concerned. Nevertheless, he was relieved when his throat wasn't torn out, the vampire opting to trail kisses down to his collarbone instead.

"What about your brothers?" Jeremy managed to ask between gasps. "The sacrifice?"

"Not important," his lover mumbled into his skin. "Perhaps if we stall enough, Mother will kill them before they kill us." He felt Kol smile against his neck. "If only we could," the former warlock breathed, pulling away.

"You have to go," the human insisted with a wry smile.

"I'll be back, darling. It's perfectly safe," the older boy reassured him. "When I get back, I'll finally be able to say that you take my breath away, and that you make my heart beat faster," he joked with a smirk. "Do you still have the protection charm I gave you?"

Jeremy's smile faltered. "Rebekah took it last night," he sighed.

"Why?" Kol asked, tone dangerously calm, much like Klaus's before he lashed out. The human looked conflicted, hesitating to reply. "What did my sister do?" the Original hissed.

"When we couldn't find you at the party last night, Rebekah asked Klaus where you were. He dismissed it, which led us to think you were daggered, and I wanted to confront him about it," Jeremy started to explain, rubbing circles on Kol's back to calm him. "She thought I'd get myself killed, so she took the charm and compelled me to forget you ever came back to Mystic Falls, as well as that I ever loved you. I woke up in the morning thinking about you, with no idea why, and I couldn't remember until I killed one of the hybrids Klaus sent to capture me. I could've fought the other one, but there was this searing pain in my head once the compulsion started to wear off."

"That's when you triggered the Hunter's Mark. The Brotherhood of the Five is immune to compulsion, then," Kol mused. "That doesn't absolve Rebekah," he continued. "She had no right to take your memories, whatever the reason."

"Worry about one thing at a time, Kol," Jeremy countered. "Go save us, and save your family. I'll be here when you get back, and we can deal with your sister together."

"You are my family," the former warlock insisted. "I'm doing this to protect you from my siblings. Niklaus once said that family is more than those with whom you share blood, that it's a choice, and I choose you. Not my mother, nor my siblings; they betrayed me, but not you."

"I never will," the human replied, pressing their lips together again quickly. "Now go, and be careful."

In a blink, the Original was gone, and Jeremy was left sitting on the marble floor of the Mikaelson mansion. He heard footsteps nearing, Klaus and Elijah. If not for the enhanced senses he unlocked when he triggered his Hunter's Mark, he wouldn't have detected a thing.

"Is all of this worth it?" he growled, looking up to glare at Klaus, who appeared shaken.

"Kol has always been fickle, but he wasn't like this when I saw him last," the hybrid countered, as if that absolved him of anything.

"For all of your plotting and manipulation, have you truly never stopped to consider that you're at fault for that?" Jeremy snapped, addressing both Mikaelson brothers now. "He didn't tell me everything, but even I can tell that it was your family who broke him. I've watched him scream at the voices in his head that he isn't dangerous like you all believed! I've watched him sob that he's more than a tool to be manipulated!"

Both Originals had the decency to look apologetic, though their sentiment wouldn't do any good. It wouldn't undo the centuries of misery Kol had endured, nor would it mend the mental wounds they had caused.

"Is your security worth the lifetimes of rejection, of pain? Does Kol's happiness really mean so little to you?" he pressed, hoping they would at least regret it.

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist writing more today, since I had some free time. I hope you all enjoy the quick update!
> 
> If you were hoping I'd spend more time on Jeremy's loss, I apologize for bringing it to an end so quickly, but I wanted to briefly focus on how the other characters treat him. I dislike how he's constantly viewed as a liability in TVD, especially by Elena and the Salvatores, but he's also still barely triggered his Hunter's Mark at this point, so I tried to balance him having his own strength with still having room to grow. Since the Brotherhood of the Five can't be compelled, once Jeremy triggered his mark the compulsion started to come undone, and I drew from the pain associated with undoing compulsion through magic in TO to assume that another means of removing compulsion would cause an intense pain, although Rebekah only compelled him once, so it passed in a few hours.
> 
> I honestly love Elijah, Klaus, and Rebekah as characters. However, I hate the way they treat Kol, especially in TO. I hope you enjoy the twist I put on Esther's plan, since I imagine she would want them to die as mortals, which was how they were born. I thought it would be more poetic in her view, so I went with it. If you don't recognize the bit about Klaus saying family is a choice, it's a reference to what he tells Marcel Gerard. If you haven't watched TO, don't worry; it's just a little homage I wanted to add.
> 
> As always, let me know if you enjoyed and leave feedback if you have any! Thank you so much for sticking with me so far.
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	18. The Fate We Choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set during the episode "All My Children," but doesn't follow the show much, since I wanted to change things up a bit (or a lot).

As much as Bonnie loved being connected to nature, she couldn't stand hiking, not that she considered the walk to the Old Witch House much of a hike. The trip was quiet, most of which was because she didn't say much to Abby, who she still refused to recognize as her mother. It had been far too long since Bonnie had a mother, barely longer than the time since she'd needed one. As their destination neared, she glanced at her phone to check the time, forgetting she wouldn't get any reception in the middle of the woods. She ignored the odd look she garnered from Abby as she laughed at herself and turned to the sky, using the sun to gauge the time; it was nearly sunset, which meant the final preparations for the spell would be taking place.

"Sisters!" the Original Witch called out to them in greeting. "I am pleased both of you could join me this evening. We are finally going to restore the balance of nature."

Bonnie nodded with a rigid smile. Esther made it sound like the Bennett witches had given her permission to channel them and their ancestors, but that was far from the truth.

"I thought I would find you all here," an accented voice cut through the air--Kol. He was leaning casually against the trunk of a tree, hands tucked into his pockets. A flash of panic crossed his mother's face before it was replaced by a grimace.

"My son," his mother began shakily. "What are you doing here? How did you find this place?"

"I felt drawn here, though I didn't know what this place was until I saw it. It's from my vision," he smiled slightly. "Through sacrifice, those bound in blood will find their fate. As for my purpose here, I intend to be that sacrifice."

Both Bonnie and Abby were stunned into silence, the younger witch's mind reeling. She had known Kol was miserable when he first turned, but that he still preferred death was nearly incomprehensible. Perhaps Bonnie herself would never understand, having gone sixteen years without accessing her magic, yet she suspected there were other forces at play. Had the former warlock been threatened by Klaus? Manipulated by Elijah? Had Jeremy done something to hurt him, to push him to the breaking point? Speculating wouldn't do much good; the only way to know for sure was to ask Kol, but he didn't even glance in her direction.

"Mother, please," the Original pleaded, tension fading from his posture as he gazed at her with wide eyes, and Bonnie was struck by how young he looked. Though they were the same age, Kol's boyish features made him appear more youthful, brown eyes bright with emotion. "Let me be a servant of nature one last time. I want to fix what this family has broken," he begged, voice breaking.

Esther took a step forward, and for a moment, Bonnie thought the Original Witch would strike him, would bring him to his knees with magic. It would have been in character, especially among members of his family. Kol's mother merely brought a hand to his cheek, looking up into his eyes.

"My son, I'm sorry for ruining you," she apologized. "I will make this right."

"I know, mother," he smiled softly, and the youngest witch couldn't help but pity him.

She wanted to offer some form of consolation, but who was she to tell him to live without his magic? Beside her, Abby wore a similar expression.

"Come along, then. You can help us prepare herbs for the ritual," Esther, urged Kol, starting to lead him into the Old Witch House and beckoning the Bennett witches to follow.

"Kol, are you sure about this?" Bonnie murmured, walking briskly to catch up to the former warlock.

It was only thanks to his enhanced senses that he could hear her, and he slowed his pace, falling into step beside her before muttering an answer. "It doesn't matter; it isn't like I have a choice."

"No matter what your family has done, there is always something to live for. What about Jeremy?" she pressed, grabbing his wrist. "If anything happens to you, it will break him."

"He's the reason I'm here," Kol shot back, tone laced with venom. "Elijah and Niklaus will kill him if I run, but it doesn't matter. After tonight, I'm done with their games; no more following their orders without question. For the first time, I'll be rid of them, and the two of us will be free of this town."

The younger Bennett witch felt her heart sink. The way the Original was talking, as if he would be free of his siblings after tonight, horrified her; it meant he didn't know Esther would kill him. The Original Witch had gone over the ritual with her and her mother the evening before. Kol would be turned mortal, then he would die by a hex, lungs filling with what had once sustained him as a vampire--blood. His mother thought it poetic, but Bonnie found it sick.

"I need to make a phone call," she told the former warlock, hoping he wouldn't notice the quaver in her voice. "I'll be back in time for your mother's spell."

He nodded, rejoining his mother as she entered the house, where Bonnie spotted Finn waiting. With only a nod to her mother, she started the long trek back to the main road in search of reception.

She had only met Kol eight months prior, but she knew this vampire was nothing like the warlock he once was, who she teased about sounding like he was from the Dark Ages. This version was darker in a manner Bonnie couldn't pinpoint. Perhaps it was only her perception that had shifted, showing her the turmoil that hummed beneath his skin. If that were true, he had hidden it well before, but now, it seemed as if he had reached his breaking point.

Finally reaching the dirt road that led back into town, Bonnie checked her phone, sighing in relief when she saw there was reception. Quickly, she dialed Damon's phone number, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for him to answer.

"What is Kol doing here?" she snapped as soon as he did, not bothering to give him a chance to greet her. There were times for pleasantries, but this wasn't one of them. "He just volunteered to be his mother's sacrifice, and he doesn't seem to know he's going to die."

"His siblings have Elena," Damon sighed. "Elijah and Klaus told Stefan and I that they have a plan to prevent their deaths, and they'll kill her if we don't go along with it."

"Elena isn't the only one in danger; they have Jeremy," Bonnie replied.

"Well, that would explain why Kol is helping them."

"We can't let him die, Damon," she pressed. "Kol is our friend; he saved Elena, and he's been through enough. The hex Esther plans to use is awful. He'll die choking on his own blood."

She heard the elder Salvatore exhale sharply. "It's unfortunate, but there isn't much we can do. Esther is powerful, even when she isn't channeling the Bennett bloodline, so to weaken her, we're having her expend magic on Kol. Then, the Originals told Stefan and I to sever her connection to your ancestors. Once she's cut off from them, she won't have enough power on her own to stop Klaus, and he'll kill her. Elena and Jeremy get to live," he explained. "Kol was daggered last night at dinner, so he didn't drink the champagne. He isn't linked to the others, so even though he'll become mortal and die, his siblings won't."

Bonnie started to protest once again, but she paused, struck with another realization. "How are you going to sever her connection to the Bennett line?" she whispered, terrified of the answer. The Original Witch was able to channel them because she had the generations made manifest in both mother and daughter, meaning that one of them needed to die. She knew, but she didn't want to believe it. "Are you going to kill Abby? Me?" she asked, blinking away tears.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie," Damon said in lieu of a confirmation, and he almost sounded genuinely apologetic. "We can't let Elena die, and if we don't kill Esther, Kol dies for nothing."

"No!" Bonnie protested. "No more of our friends and family should die, especially not Abby. I'll go back; I'll tell Kol what's going to happen, and he'll figure something out!"

"Look up at the sky," the vampire instructed. "It's already dark. You won't make it in time."

Sobbing, she fell to her knees, knowing he was right. Numbly, she ended the call, dropping her phone somewhere in the brush. When she heard a scream pierce the cool air, she knew it was done.

* * *

Klaus stood in the shadows with Elijah, watching as their mother stood in front of Kol, a ring of fire encircling him.

"This is what needs to be done, brother," his elder brother assured him, sensing his regret. "At least he will finally be at peace."

"We're killing our baby brother, 'Lijah," the hybrid breathed, the words bitter.

The other Original looked pained. "It's either this, or we all die--Finn, Rebekah, and the two of us. There are no good options, but this is the best one."

A pained gasp caught their attention. Klaus could only stare as Kol screamed, eyes bright with pain, while Esther chanted, the flames roaring higher as she spoke. The hybrid couldn't tear his eyes away, and beside him, neither could Elijah. Finally, the Original Witch fell silent, and their youngest brother collapsed, lying still for a moment before their mother spoke again. The hybrid pinpointed the moment when Kol realized what was happening, when his eyes filled with hurt at their betrayal and he screamed, begging his mother to stop, to let him live, but she continued, holding him down with magic so he couldn't even lift a hand to resist, and Klaus felt Elijah place a hand on his shoulder, holding him back with tears in his eyes.

Finally, the incantation ended, the only audible sound being Kol's shuddering breaths, riddled with broken sobs. Numbly, Klaus watched the Salvatore brothers emerge from the trees, snapping the neck of the older Bennett witch. Esther whirled around in anger, and in a blink the hybrid found himself with his fangs in her neck. He didn't recall leaving Elijah's side, or even grabbing his mother. He sunk his teeth in deeper. He only remembered what she had done to Kol; what she had forced him to do.

He tore her head from her shoulders, letting out a roar as Elijah flinched. Klaus turned on Kol, hoping to console him, to apologize, but the hybrid was almost immediately brought to his knees, his younger brother's hand outstretched, fingers curling to trigger a searing pain in his head.

"Don't touch me, Niklaus," Kol spat, voice filled with rage as he released his brother from the spell. He sat up slowly, breathing heavily, and the hybrid could hear the flutter of his heartbeat--he was terrified. "When Mother started chanting, I recognized the incantation. It's a powerful hex, an old one. My lungs will fill with blood, and then I'll die in a matter of days," he whispered in disbelief, starting to cry again.

"This isn't what I wanted for us," Klaus confessed. "I was just afraid. I thought that, if you were near us, you would be a danger to our family. Your power is greater than any I've seen, save for Mother, and I--" he trailed off, eyes downcast in shame.

"All of this was because of your paranoia, then?" the warlock murmured, to which he nodded.

"I'm so sorry, brother."

"What is that meant to do? I'm dying, Niklaus, and I never even got a chance to live," the former Original lamented. "All I've ever wanted is to be a part of this family, but all you lot have ever done is bring me suffering. I've been killed repeatedly for the benefit of this family, and your love for me is constantly overshadowed by your fear. That's why I decided before I came here that I'm done accepting your abuse, fate be damned. I saw the ritual tonight in a vision; I saw a bond forged in blood and a sacrifice in a ring of fire, and I thought it predicted that I would be free of this family after tonight." He rose shakily, and Klaus moved to steady him, only for the warlock to flinch away. It stung, but he understood. "I suppose it came true, in a fashion, but I realized something: fate is for us to shape. Even if I know what is to come, I am never shown the outcome."

"I don't understand," the hybrid confessed.

"It means that while some things are set in stone, others are in our hands. The end of this chapter doesn't come until I choose it," Kol declared, gaining a strength that Klaus hadn't seen in him since they were all mortal, when he had stood up to Mikael. "I refuse to die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, once again, for sticking with me (and Kol) for another chapter! It means the world to me.
> 
> First off, I'm super excited Kol is a witch again! I really wasn't kidding when I tagged "Kol goes through lots of phases," and there may be more to come. Hopefully the switch in perspective wasn't confusing, but I wanted to switch between Bonnie and Klaus because I think they have the most interesting points of view for this part of the story. I don't really watch TVD, so hopefully I wrote Bonnie alright, but I had a much easier time with Klaus because he's the protagonist of TO.
> 
> The hex that Esther uses on Kol is inspired by the hex Finn casts on him in TO, and I thought the thing about him dying by blood, which keeps vampires alive, added a nice irony to it. Elijah is definitely a little cold this chapter, but I've always seen him as doing what needs to be done, regardless of his personal feelings, so even though he doesn't want Kol to die, he knows it's the best thing they can do to keep their family safe. Klaus shows more resistance to the idea because he's driven by his passions and emotions, even when they cause him to be irrational. What do you think about Kol refusing to die? I did say the ending was going to be somewhat happy, so rest assured that's still happening!
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to montrel13 for their awesome suggestion! As this story is coming to a close, I'll be basing my next one off of that idea.
> 
> As always, I encourage any and all feedback, as I love reading and responding to comments! I do appreciate them all, even if I don't reply to every one (although I strive to).
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	19. Our Lives to Live

Kol took a shuddering breath, flexing his fingers as he marveled at the familiar sensation of his magic, its energy humming just beneath his skin. Slowly, he rose, Niklaus merely observing, still uncertain. For the first time he could remember, the hybrid seemed sad; rage graced his features far too often, and the warlock knew it well, but this was new, not that it did him much good.

"I'm going to the house to find Jeremy. If you've harmed him, Niklaus, know that I will find a way to kill you--all of you," Kol snapped, disregarding his brother's combination of shock and regret.

"He's safe, brother," Niklaus murmured, meeting the warlock's gaze. "If there was another way to save our family, know that I would have taken it."

Kol scoffed. "You stopped being my family nine hundred years ago," he retorted. "The only thing that's changed since we've been reunited is that I'm no longer fool enough to doubt that."

Turning away, he didn't need vampire hearing to know he wouldn't be followed; both the Salvatore brothers and his own knew their company would be unwelcome. Kol felt remarkably light as he trudged through the woods, using the light of the moon and the position of the stars to find his way back to the road; he chuckled as he imagined Mikael scolding him for the lack of stealth, which he was too exhausted to be bothered with. He knew there was a way to save his life, though it would be difficult, and if the hex did bring his death, he would leave this world as he entered it.

As he came upon a clearing, he spotted something in the brush. Inching closer, he gasped when someone--a witch--gave him an aneurism. Returning the favor, he realized with a start that he had stumbled across Bonnie.

"Kol?" she asked, incredulous. He felt the pain in his head subside, to his relief, and he loosened his own hold on the spell, letting it fall away. "Your mother's ritual worked?"

"It did," he intoned, eying her warily.

"I promise you, I had nothing to do with it. When I saw you at the Old Witch House, I left to call Damon, to ask him what was going on, and I couldn't get back in time to stop it," she entreated, and the warlock noticed her eyes were puffy, as if she had been crying.

"Bonnie, your mother--"

"I know, Kol," she cut him off before he could try to explain further. "I'm sorry, but I need to go to Abby. I have to see her."

The former Original nodded, pulling the Bennett witch into a quick embrace before continuing on his own journey. He walked, ignoring the ache in his muscles and the blood he coughed up a few times every hour; he was unmistakably alive. By the time he reached the Mikaelson mansion, morning had come, but he doubted his siblings would pay him any bother.

Shoving open the door, he forced himself to the room Jeremy had been kept in that night, almost weeping in relief upon seeing that his lover was, as Niklaus had claimed, safe. Feeling his resolve crumble, Kol let himself collapse. Jeremy all but sprinted across the room, offering what support he could.

"Kol, are you alright? What happened with your mother?" the hunter pressed, holding Kol upright. "Is your heart-- Are you alive?"

"My brothers lied," the warlock mumbled, letting out a breathy laugh. "I suppose I should have anticipated that, but I digress. Mother turned me mortal, as they said she would, then she hexed me; I'm dying, which Nik and 'Lijah conveniently forgot to warn me of." Taking in his lover's expression--a mask of horror and despair--he amended, "I have a way to save my life, darling. It will take more than my own flesh and blood for you to be rid of me." He tried to smile, only to be cut short by a violent cough that sent him lurching forward, hacking up blood.

"That's the hex?" Jeremy breathed, rubbing his back gently.

"My lungs are filling with blood, though this is progressing faster than it should. Mother is a powerful witch, so she could have easily altered the incantation to bring about a more expedient death," the Kol elaborated with a sigh. "Last night, I was only coughing up blood a few times an hour, and they were never so violent. At this rate, I won't make it to tomorrow, darling. Luckily, I have a way to avoid that."

"If the hex is as strong as you say, potent enough to kill you within twenty-four hours, how will you be able to break it in time?"

The older boy grinned, straightening his posture and squaring his shoulders. "Darling, I never said anything about breaking it. I'm going to make myself a true immortal."

Jeremy stared at him, perplexed but supportive, arm still around the warlock for both comfort and stability.

"About six hundred years ago, I studied magic with a coven of witches in Africa," Kol began, eyes losing focus as he grew enraptured by the memory. "There, I learned of the first true immortals. Long before my mother created Original Vampires, Silas and Amara were made immortal through the power of a witch called Qetsiyah. Like vampires, they required blood to sustain themselves, but they were fully alive, without the weaknesses or limitations of vampires. Over time, the spell was lost, save for fragments which this coven preserved for generations. Over the course of centuries, I managed to write a version of that spell from what remains."

"Would that not make you a vampire?" the hunter inquired. "It sounds like vampires are just a version of these immortals."

"While vampires were created from an imperfect version of this spell, they're not the same. Do you know what my mother did wrong when she created the Original Vampires?" The younger boy shook his head. "She tried to give us too many abilities--compulsion, strength, speed, enhanced senses, agelessness itself. Mother forgot to concede some things to nature, so nature made us vulnerable--vervain, sunlight, white oak. To be honest, the term 'true immortal' is rather misleading; nature doesn't allow anything to be truly indestructible," the warlock explained, words heavy with awe.

Jeremy smiled at that; seeing Kol as he was then--mesmerized by some fact of nature--was unlike anything he'd ever encountered.

"The spell I have doesn't repeat Mother's mistake," Kol breathed, tapping his temple lightly. "It's all in here, darling. Everything we need, I have. Well, all but one thing: your blood."

"Why do you need my blood?"

"Darling, no one can be truly immortal; everything must have a weakness, a way to be killed. I'm going to make you mine. Anyone of your bloodline will be able to kill me, for eternity," came the answer, and the hunter felt the air leave his lungs.

"Kol, I don't want that kind of power over you," Jeremy insisted. "Your life should be your own."

"It is, darling. I trust you with my life," the warlock assured him. "I love you."

"I love you, too. That's why I wish we didn't have to do this. I wish we could be normal, like you wanted the other day," his lover whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before resting his head on the warlock's shoulder.

"I know," Kol sighed. "I should do the spell now, before the hex starts to take a stronger toll on me. I'll need all my strength if I am to do this properly," he begrudgingly admitted, and his lover pulled away reluctantly, disappointed but understanding the urgency. "Stay here; I'll be back with candles for the spell."

Despite the circumstances, the former Original was giddy with excitement as he ascended the stairs, rushing to his room to find the candles he kept there, along with a silver knife. The seven months he'd spent without his magic had been tortuous; while he felt physically strong as a vampire, the part of him that enjoyed living had been largely numb, and he had felt drained of energy more often than not. Shaking the thoughts away, he made his way back to Jeremy, shoving some of his energy down as he walked. Though he was anxious to do a spell, he couldn't let the situation slip his mind.

He arranged the candles in a circle on the ground, lighting them with his magic once he was finished. As Mother always said, the simplest spells were often the strongest. His body was wracked by another cough, and his shoulders heaved as he spat out blood. Shaking slightly, he knew he had to do the spell while he still could. Taking a deep breath, Kol began to chant, the syllables he had memorized long ago--out of fear of death or a desire to live if the opportunity arose--filling the air around them. He felt a tension in his chest, and he knew what came next. Still incanting, he held out a hand for Jeremy's, making a shallow cut across the length of the younger boy's palm. He fell silent; the candle flames flared. Kol ran his tongue along the entirety of the cut, swallowing the blood he needed to complete the link. The candles went out, and the ritual was done. Kol's immortal life was bound to Jeremy's bloodline.

"Is it done?" the hunter asked, watching Kol for any sign he was still hexed.

The warlock kissed him in lieu of a reply, and Jeremy smiled against his lips, immeasurably relieved.

"I can feel it, darling. I'm immortal; I don't know how, but I know. I can sense the magic," Kol gushed, pulling away briefly only to kiss him again. "Let's make good on our plans from yesterday!" he exclaimed, eyes bright with excitement. "I hear Denver is beautiful this time of year, and we can get a puppy. I think you'd look adorable with a puppy. We have to get one of the friendly ones, though. Odin forbid we end up with a brooding husky that reminds us of Niklaus."

"How about a blue-eyed golden retriever that reminds you of your baby sister?" Rebekah cut in tentatively, smiling slightly through tears as she peered in from the doorway. "I heard you upstairs, and I wanted to make sure you were alright, Kol."

"I'm immortal, so don't even think about trying to kill me," the warlock intoned, his expression guarded.

In a flash, the youngest Original had crossed the room, pulling her brother into a hug.

"I would never kill you, Kol," she breathed. "I tried to stop them--Nik and 'Lijah--but I was afraid. I'm so sorry; I failed you because I was terrified of being daggered by Nik or killed by Mother, but you deserve better. You always have."

"I know, Rebekah. I know you're scared, that you always were, and I forgive you," Kol murmured, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm glad the hunter makes you happy," she confessed with a smile. "Don't worry about me, brother. Go and live with him--truly live for the first time in a thousand years--and when you need me, I'll be here, always and forever."

Finally, she stepped back, pride filling her gaze, and in a blink, she was gone.

Kol turned back to Jeremy, interlacing their fingers. "Come on, darling. We have our lives to live."

For the first time in his life, he truly meant it. It had taken him a thousand years, but he finally understood. He had once seen that he would never reach peace in the afterlife, and it hadn't been proof of his eternal misery. He would find lasting happiness in life, and he would never leave it. He hadn't told Jeremy, not wanting to present the issue of his newfound immortality just yet, although he knew nothing could tear them apart, because he now knew he would never die, and if that meant he would spend an eternity with Jeremy--who he hoped would one day choose immortality alongside him--he didn't mind at all.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! We've finally reached the end. Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me throughout this story--you all mean the world to me!
> 
> I had so much fun picking this ending, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm going to keep this brief, since I'll be writing a longer, more extensive "Author's Note" update soon (probably within the hour, haha).
> 
> As always, leave any kudos or comments if you enjoyed or have feedback, as I love receiving both!
> 
> Your author,  
> ~Aylin


	20. Author's Note

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be spoilers for most of TO regarding Kol.
> 
> Edited January 24, 2021 (note #15).

This has definitely been a wild ride, and there is so much I could ramble on about, but I want to start by saying a HUGE thank you to all of my lovely readers! This story would not be possible without every single one of you, and a special thank you to [montrel13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/montrel13/pseuds/montrel13) for a suggestion they left for a future story. Also, special thanks to [Forest_Awakens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forest_Awakens) for helping me sort out story details and being such an amazing friend in general. I would not be able to write as well, or as much, as I do without them.

Now, onto story notes--my favorite part! I'm going to go ahead and number these for ease of reading, but they are in no particular order.

1\. Kol was meant to die in chapter 9, One More Day, but I got too attached to him and Jeremy to kill him so soon, so I ended up taking it all the way to chapter 19 and giving them a happy ending. I'm pretty indecisive as an individual, so I actually had an ongoing debate, all the way to the moment I published the finished chapter 19, about whether or not Kol would live or die at the end. That being said, I couldn't be more pleased with how I settled on ending it!

2\. The ironic title was a complete accident. When I came up with the title, I still had my heart set on killing Kol, but I'm glad I kept it as is.

3\. Three chapter titles are inspired by the lyrics of "Let it Go" from the movie _Frozen_. They are: chapter 11, Let Me Go; chapter 13, Here I Stand; and chapter 16, This Swirling Storm Inside.

4\. Lots of little details, like Kol's tattoo or his having a fiancé who died, were spontaneous decisions. They didn't exist until I sat down to write the chapter, so the entire story is constantly taking shape as I write, although I have a general outline in mind.

5\. When Kol became an Original Vampire, he was meant to be much darker, and I was playing with the idea of him turning off his humanity, but I love writing his emotional moments far too much.

6\. The entire reason I started this fic is because I feel Kol was cheated out of a happy ending on The Originals. Everyone else in the Mikaelson family got what they had strived for all their lives at the end of the series, except for Kol, who I think had always wanted his magic back. He mentions in The Originals that he misses his magic multiple times, so I've always seen this as his deepest desire, which is why I'm so obsessed with Kol being a witch in my stories.

7\. I have nothing against Davina (Kol's wife from TO, if you only watch TVD). I just saw their relationship as more of a mentor-mentee thing because of his teaching her about magic when they first met. I think their partnership at the start was founded more on necessity than anything, and I don't like that their romantic relationship was built from that. I ship Kol and Jeremy more because they were friends when they met in Denver--or at least, Jeremy considered them friends, though Kol later denies this.

8\. I never decided if John Gilbert still dies or not, but he doesn't pass the Gilbert Ring onto Jeremy.

9\. I still don't know which of the Salvatore brothers Elena is dating at this point of the timeline. I only know she was dating Stefan before he went away with Klaus at the end of season 2, but I have no idea who she's dating once Stefan gets back. It didn't really affect the story, which is why it wasn't mentioned after the season 2 finale.

10\. Kol and Elena were originally supposed to be closer friends. I thought it would be neat because Jeremy in the show gets overlooked a lot, and I thought he deserved more people who could bond over caring about him. I ended up just leaving them on friendly/neutral (depending on the point in the story) terms because I didn't want it to get too filled with Kol/Elena scenes.

11\. I was going to write a Kol/Male OC historical AU on the day I started writing this instead.

12\. Klaroline was planned for the latter half of this story, but when I got to the Mikaelson ball, where I was going to insert it, I didn't think Klaus had grown enough as a person yet to be with Caroline. In TVD, she always wishes that he'll be a better man, and he just isn't there yet. I opted out of rushing his character growth because it takes five whole seasons of TO, and I didn't want to butcher it for a side plot.

13\. I greatly enjoy learning about Norse culture, which is why I inserted so much of it into this story. Völva were witches in Norse mythology, but I didn't depict their magic accurately in Kol because I opted to stick closer to TVD canon witchcraft.

14\. Mikael's relationship with Kol was strongly influenced by Norse culture. Male witches were looked down upon as being weak and unmanly in Norse culture, which is why Mikael is so obsessed with making him strong. Kol, however, was only half Dane because his mother, Esther, is canonically a Saxon. As a result, he may not have known every intimate aspect of his father's culture, especially because they had moved to the New World before he was born. As a result, when Kol talks about how his father fought him when he found out Kol had been with another boy, he doesn't realize that it was actually done to protect him. "Weak" men could be shunned by society, so Mikael's forcing Kol to fight him was meant to prove to anyone who asked or doubted him that Kol was, in fact, strong. That was my one bit of redemption for Mikael, who is objectively a horrible father.

15\. Kol's mental state throughout the story is strongly influenced by my own, although his is more extreme because he's both a vampire and been through much more trauma. That being said, I have no intention of glorifying mental health issues; Kol's mental health issues are unlabeled because mine are, however they do exist. I wanted to paint his struggle in a more realistic light, and my favorite line is probably "I know my limits." It's powerful to me because knowing oneself when it comes to mental health is so important, and although it doesn't always stop things from spiraling out of control, it does help. Another thing I loved writing were his interactions with Jeremy. People we love are a vital source of support, and sometimes--if it's family who are difficult to talk to--friends or partners are better options. I personally wanted to capture the duality he faces because it's something I face; things we love can be a source of pain simultaneously, and that's okay. Every time I revisit this AU, I feel a bit more whole, a bit more secure and comfortable with myself, and it's one that's incredibly close to my heart. Even though Kol is fictional, having a person separate from me who feels the way I do has been reassuring over the months I've taken to write this.

I think that's all the notes I have! I will be starting another story soon, and it will be a Kol/Jeremy story because I honestly love them. I would be honored if you chose to read it when I start publishing it, as it will be an AU where Jeremy is a witch!

You all are absolutely amazing! Thank you, once again, to everyone who left kudos, commented, bookmarked this story, or even just read it.

Your author,

~Aylin


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